This past Sunday at our volunteers training, I was so excited to share our finalized New Beginnings Faith Map. This Faith Map provides the plan for parents to truly engage as the primary disciple-makers in their kids lives. As you will see below, most parents desire to lead and train their children in the ways of the Lord, but two factors have hindered that from taking place. First, most parents have never been educated on the Scriptural expectation of faith training in the home. Second, most have never been trained and equipped (with resources and a simple, workable plan) to make the home the central training ground for their family.
Here’s a look at what we’re providing for our families at New Beginnings. This is just a visual peek at the Faith Map (a more finalized version is coming!). It includes the three “Milestones” for families with children from birth through 4th grades.
Interesting Facts:
- Over 90% of churched parents believe it is their responsibility to train up their children in the ways of the Lord.
- Over 60% of those same churched parents believe that taking their children to church is how they fulfill that responsibility.
These statistics reveal just what was stated above—parents believe they are supposed to be leading, teaching, and training (which is simply discipling) their children in some form but have never been walked through the Biblical expectation of that nor been given a simple, workable plan. Our Faith Map is our simple workable plan with “milestone” events paired with daily intentional steps to create a culture where true discipleship is happening in the home.
- How many parents go to church week in and week out, service after service, and never have a pastor or leader approach them to ask how things are going (spiritually) in their home?
- How many parents have never thought through having a spiritual plan that is simple and workable in their homes?
Let’s look again at Deuteronomy 6:6-7
“These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
This is the expectation from God towards parents and families. This didn’t change once the church age began. In fact, we have the full revelation of God, in Christ and His cross, as well as God’s fully disclosed purposes to reach all nations and peoples and languages with the gospel (Matt. 28:18-20).
- What does “teach them diligently” look like? —We know it cannot mean to just drop them off at a building for other people to do that work alone. —We know it does not give parents the right to abdicate their role of spiritually leading their families towards Christ.
Again, this is not to make any parents feel guilty or condemned. In many places, parents have not been educated on the Biblical expectation nor given a workable plan. It should press us to look at this Biblical expectation and realign our efforts and mission and strategies to truly equip families to live in Biblical obedience.
- What does “when you sit in your house…when you walk by the way…when you lie down…when you rise up” mean in ancient Hebrew?
—It means “when you sit in your house…talk to your children diligently about the greatness of God and His saving power.”
—It means “when you walk along through the daily situations of life…point out to your children diligently the intelligence God has in all of His creation and point them diligently to God’s general graces upon all of life.”
—It means “when you lie down each night for bed…teach them diligently by pausing to look back at the day and ascribe God glory for all the good He has allowed us to enjoy that day and to look forward to the coming day.”
—It means “when you rise up…point them diligently to the reminder of God’s mercies being new every morning and the opportunity to live today as a day enjoying Him (God) and enjoying them (others) in living out the Great Commandment (Matt. 22:37-40).
--It means diligently seizing moments to point to God in small little everyday occurrences to cultivate their hearts for receiving the good news of what Christ has done as our substitute.
These stats above also reveal that there is an assumption that “the church building” is where the great majority of Bible teaching and training should take place. Many times, the expectation is placed on the youth pastor, children’s pastor, or other pastors to be the only ones making disciples. In most cases, that is not the parent’s fault in this misunderstanding. It goes back to the pastors and leadership of the church not truly fulfilling their role of “equipping the saints for works of ministry” (Eph. 4:11). That means that pastors and leaders do not merely teach lessons--but they make disciples who learn how to make other disciples--including the ones in their home.
Have you looked at the numbers?
(LESS THAN HALF OF ONE PERCENT)
(Considering true Bible exposure and discussion)
Past Option: 95%--5% = church to home ratio
Biblical Option: 80%--20% = home to church ratio
1 Week (7 days) = 168 hours (10,080 minutes)
Beyond sleep and work (96 hrs) we’ve got 72 hours left each week. (4,320 mins left)
Teaching/Lessons at Church Services = 45 minutes (15 Wed. night; 15 Sun. School; 15 Children’s services)
Let’s just look at percentages:
--50% would be 5,040 minutes each week.
--20% would be 2,016 minutes each week.
--10% would be 1,008 minutes each week.
--5% would be 504 minutes each week.
--1% would be 101 minutes each week.
45 Minutes = .0044% of 10,080 minutes per week
Wow! Do we expect that 45 minutes of exposure to God’s word out of 10,080 minutes per week is sufficient for saying Christ and His word are the most important things we live for?
When we look at the reality of our time and schedules it becomes glaringly clear that we must be very intentional and purposeful with our time. This does not mean adding on a thirty minute teaching time during your evenings—no way that’s happening for most of us!
"1.5.3 Challenge"
For us, it does mean being intentional to have one family night each week (Faith Talk) where we have a planned time to open the Bible and discuss three or four questions from Scripture with a fun activity. It does mean being intentional to read The Action Bible five or six nights at bedtime. And it does mean being intentional in praying and talking with my wife about the spiritual process we are intentionally implementing to see them trained in the ways of the Lord.
We call this the “1.5.3 Challenge” = 1 Faith Talk, 5 kids Bible readings, 3 prayer times with spouse. (Each week)
One important note is this is no performance race. This is a process. I shared with volunteers during our training that this is our goal. We may have many weeks where this isn't what comes about. The previous week, we had three late nights (Tues, Wed. Thurs) and the boys were all gone Friday night, so we didn't have our usual Bible reading any of those nights. And, I don't feel guilty about that. Those nights were fun family nights at church and Halloween with friends--great family fun!
This is no equation to get our kids to heaven. Salvation is God’s part. I cannot get my kids saved. He never asked me to do that work. Jesus provided that work on behalf of me and my children. But I can strive to diligently create a home environment where discussions take place that direct and point our family to Christ and His cross as the ultimate thing to live for.
Sankie P. Lynch
Pastor of Families
sankie@nbchurch.info
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