1. Faithfulness means pausing, engaging, and enjoying them in the moment—right now—instead of tolerating their silly behavior as you look over them to finish the current task.
- I remember going for several weeks being frustrated because of the noise level and the seemingly unending chaos of all three boys swirling around the living room floor as I tried to talk to Jamie or finish some homework or enjoy a game on tv. I kept wondering why they couldn’t just sit still and quiet and let me finish what I was trying to do. And then it hit me. Life wasn’t about the next task being accomplished. Life wasn’t about putting a checkmark beside something we were working on. Life was right there in front of me—those three little lives—wanting me to join them and get down on their level. My expectation was that they needed to allow for my enjoyment of peace and quiet. But they weren’t supposed to sit still—they were little boys playing in a living room floor. My expectation was what was off.
- Life was about engaging with them and enjoying them “in process.” Life is not about the next step or the next big event. It is all the moments in between the milestones that they will remember. If I’m always just hurried to complete the next task at home or even the next ministry event that includes them—if I miss out on THEM in the process—I’ve really missed out. They begin to learn that the events and tasks are the important things—not life in process between the events. They begin to be hurried and stressed by the stuff instead of learning to enjoy relationships. We began to fight the urge to “look over” their noise and instead to enjoy them in what they were doing. We only get a short period of time to do this with them. Before we know it, this season of life will have passed. We want to enjoy it and not just survive it.
2. Faithfulness requires action—having a spiritual plan for their hearts—not just good intentions.
- We had to think through how costly it will be in truly trying to raise them up in the fear of the Lord. That doesn’t happen by merely requiring them to attend church once a week.
- We want to have a simple, workable plan with intentional times each week where we are spending time looking at God’s word and the implications it has on our lives. We also want to have milestones along the way to strive for that become markers of continued growth and maturity. These are not an equation. This is not an attempt at legalistic “doing,” but instead, in response to what Christ has already accomplished for us—“being” a person captivated in Christ.
- Disobedience is an opportunity to show them sin in their heart as well as Christ being their only hope. Compare that to “be still…stop playing around…behave yourself!” We want to be faithful in using correction times to point to Jesus as what they need—not better moral behavior for my approval.
- We have to trust that God’s word is what their hearts need for regeneration (salvation) and maturity (sanctification). Deuteronomy 6:6 says, “the commands I am commanding you today shall be on your heart; you shall teach them diligently to your sons…” In the New Testament Paul tells Timothy “from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith, which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, reproof, correcting, and training in righteousness” (2 Tim. 3:15-16).
- This reveals that the expectation is that we should be teaching our children at young ages that the Scriptures are where we find solid teaching, rebuke, correction, and training towards righteousness. This means that we must learn to not only be familiar ourselves with what Scripture teaches, but that we must learn to use the Scriptures in guiding our children. Sending them to church and reciting John 3:16 does not equate with diligently teaching them.
Am I “teaching” my children the Scriptures and implications of God’s word?
Am I “reproving” my children with “no-no’s” or am I pointing them to what is correct and true?
Am I “correcting” (restoring/straightening) my children using the Scriptures?
Am I “training” my children using the Scriptures?
Many parents take their children to church every time the doors are open and provide them with the best schooling around—but cannot understand why attitudes and behaviors go on unchecked and unchanged. What if the Scriptures, in the power of the Holy Spirit, are the only lasting change we can really look to?
Do I know where to turn in the Scriptures to correct attitudes and behaviors my child is dealing with?
Do I know how to point my child’s thoughts and heart towards Christ in the Scriptures to see lasting change from sin?
5. Faithfulness means to be intentional and purposeful in guiding their hearts to live for eternal matters—not fleeting pursuits of pride, position, and possessions.
- As parents, we do not realize that our emphasis in pushing them heavily towards academics, sports, entertainment, image, and worldly success—with no emphasis on gospel mission—is guiding their hearts more than we realize towards living for temporal versus eternal things. Sometimes, we are implicitly teaching them that the things of this world are what really matter in life—at the cost of marginalizing eternal matters. We would never say that—but it might be what our time and our priorities are actually revealing about what we treasure.
Sankie P. Lynch
Pastor of Families
sankie@nbchurch.info
nbchurch.info
nbfamilies.info
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