My kids don't want to go to church!

These are 3 great kids who still
love Jesus and His church

Let’s admit it, keeping your family involved in the church isn’t easy. So many things, compete for our families time, our families attention, and our families energy (sports teams, staying over with friends, vacations, holidays with extended families). Plus, our kids learn that they can successfully persuade us parents to miss “church” for a variety of understandable excuses (I’m sick, I’m tired, I don’t know anybody, I don’t like my [teacher, minister, class, etc.], I can’t get out of bed, I can’t get ready in time, I don’t have anything to wear, on and on, and on, and on…)

Pastor’s/minister’s don’t understand how hard it is to keep their families in church. Or do they? Pastor’s/minister’s kids never get to miss church. If Pastor’s/minister’s kids miss church too much, some people in the church might begin questioning their ability to parent and to lead (1 Timothy 3:4-5). Maybe this is why PK’s (Preacher’s Kids) have such a questionable reputation. Maybe this is why 85% of seminary graduates entering the ministry exit the ministry within five years and why 90% of all pastors will not stay to retirement.

But God designed the church to accomplish His plan to redeem the world!

• Hebrews 10:24-25
• Colossians 1:17-20
• Ephesians 2:19-22

The faith of children is most likely to grow when they have the opportunity to associate with adults who are growing persons who know and love God. The child’s faith is inspired when he or she belongs to an inclusive community that seeks to live out God’s love.

New Beginnings Church must continue to be a redemptive community. A redemptive community is a church that inspires, encourages, and motivates believers to want to belong. How do we create a redemptive community where our kids want to go to church and understand that there is a community of friends there waiting to see them?

We were NOT created to live in isolation or do the Christian life alone. Our faith community help us live the redeemed identity that we discussed in chapter 5. Our faith community offers a support system of like-minded people who believe the same truths and desire the same things out of this life. These shared beliefs and values provide a foundation for our children, especially during their developmental years. Our church can be a vibrant community of believers who can give our children a temporary reprieve from the world’s pressures and antagonism.

It's tempting for parents to believe that life is too busy and cluttered to go to church on Sundays. Church can become just one more thing in a busy family’s schedule. Attending church “every once in a while” is not enough to support a family’s goal for a vibrant – values shaping - redemptive faith community. Our children need to know that they are not alone. Families who live apart from their extended family and find deep relationships in their spiritual families as well. A vibrant community of faith can strengthen a child’s identity during their childhood years and have an impact well into their adulthood.

Julie Partin, Josh Sallee, Jill Lewolt

A redemptive faith community creates an environment to equip and disciple parents and children, to celebrate God’s faithfulness, and to bring it richness of genuine worship. All of these things ultimately offer children a strong sense of identity, security, and belonging. Today parents need to be diligent to ensure that they are creating an environment that offers this kind of community for their children.

I love these PK's!

A Young Boys Prayer

Shortly after Monica and I and the boys moved from a two bedroom condo to our house in Broken Arrow, Monica and the boys began to talk about wanting to have a dog. I think Karis was around 11 and Kenny 7 years old. Our house had a fenced in back yard, so it made a perfect surrounding for a dog. However, I was not as excited about it as they were. Actually, I love dogs. I had two when I was growing up. Both of them were small, house dogs that lived a full life and I even cried after the first one died. My issue was that I felt about it the same way my mom and dad did, when I asked for a dog. “We are not getting a dog, because you will not take care of it and I will end up having to take care of it and I don’t want to have to take care of your dog.” So, that is what I told them too. Isn't it amazing how we end up sounding and acting a lot like our parents?

Monica and the boys were disappointed and I felt like the bad guy and we ended the discussion, but they continued to discuss it. The boys would continue to ask Monica in the car on the way to and from school. So, Monica decided to ask the boys to pray about it. We didn’t have the terminology down at that time, but she was having “Faith Walk” conversations with them. In case you don’t know what a “Faith Walk” conversation is: Faith Walks are simply a category to describe conversations about God that unfold in the context of the family’s day-to-day life. Every question that arises in the daily walk of life is an opportunity for parents to form their child’s faith.

• Table discussion,
• Kitchen conversations,
• Topics which unfold while watching TV,
• Trips in the car

A few weeks later, Karis was given a homework assignment to write a paper about “something he really wanted and why.” Karis had written about how badly he wanted to have a dog, specifically a Lab and he and Monica were discussing this paper in the car after school that day. As they were driving down 71^st street, they see a big sign on the side of the road for Lab puppies. Monica and the boys wanted to stop so badly. They felt this was possibly an answer to prayer, however, Monica reminded the boys that I had said “no” to having a dog and that they were going to respect my decision and follow my leading as the leader of the family. She talked about one of the ten commandments is to honor your father and mother. Karis was disappointed, but Monica told him to keep praying that God might soften my heart to allowing the boys to have a dog. Monica told me about their experience that day and about Karis homework assignment. I felt bad, but also felt like I had to stick with my decision not to have a dog.

A few days later while on the phones with a client (I was not on staff at the church at this time,) I could hear a dog barking in the background. She put the phone down and came back to the phone and said “you don’t know anyone who wants a dog do you?” I stopped and cringed. If she had told me about the dog in any other way, I could have shrugged it off, but she asked if I knew anyone who wanted a dog. The answer to that question was yes. She then told me it was a chocolate lab puppy that had been left on their door step. My response back was that I did know someone who wanted a dog. She told me she was taking it to a Vet to get it’s shots and told me where the Vet was located and said whomever was interested could pick it up there.

So, I called Monica and I told her about this conversation and this dog. I told her not to get excited, but that I wanted to go see the dog first with her and then we would decide if we would take it home or not. We went there over our lunch hour while the boys were in school. When they brought the dog out to see us, she was beautiful. She had a very calm demeanor and I said we would take her. I never told Monica that I had always wanted to have a chocolate lab myself, even though I also knew the work and responsibility for having and training a dog. We had to leave the dog there one more day to have it spayed.

When Monica picked up the boys from school, Monica asked the boys, who has been praying for a dog? Karis shouted, I have been praying for a dog. Monica told them about the phone call at my work and about us going to see the dog and how I had changed my mind about us having a dog. Both boys were extremely excited, but especially Karis. So, then they talked about what they would name the dog and we came up with the name, Grace or Gracie, because we felt it was by God’s grace, that He softened my heart and how He orchestrated the steps to finding this dog. Also, coincidentally, Karis’s name in Greek means “grace”.  

We have had Gracie now for 9 years. She is the smartest dog I have ever owned and has been a huge blessing to our family in many ways. Once while we were on a family vacation, she was left at home. She helped prevent a burglary of our house. We had a bedroom window broken out, but I guess she scared the burglar away, because nothing was stolen and they never got into the house according to the police.. Every time we stop and think about how we were able to find Gracie, we think about this story. God heard a prayer of a young boy and softened the heart of a father to hear the Holy Spirit inside enough to change his mind. Monica still has Karis’s homework assignment as a testimony of this story.

There are so many cool things to see in how God worked through this entire story. Through the Faith Walk conversations with Monica and the boys, her discussion with them about how to handle and respect the answer “no”, to answered prayer following the decision to respect and honor the answer “no”. I very easily could have told that person on the phone that I didn’t know anyone who was looking for a dog, but I didn’t. The experience was a great spiritual learning lesson for me as well, because it taught me that I need to listen, when I hear that still voice inside telling me to pay attention to this event and don’t be afraid to change your mind. It’s not always about what we want that’s important, it’s about what God wants that’s most important. I have no doubt that God wanted to bless a young boy with this dog and I also know he blessed the young boy in me, that always wanted a chocolate lab too. And he blessed a family with a great God lesson.

Psalm 37:3-5 

Trust in the Lord and do what is good; dwell in the land and live securely.⁴ Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desires. ⁵ Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in Him, and He will act,

LIVE FROM HAITI!!

We are in Haiti and the internet is spotty and thus I'm going to keep it short but here are five very cool ways the Faith Mission is being lived out and YOU'RE APART OF in Haiti!!

- Seniors who just graduated... Having just gone through our "Rite of Passage" and "Senior Sunday", multiple graduates have given up their week and flown to the poorest nation in the western hemisphere and are now fully engaged in service to the King!!

- John Crater & Susan Mackey (The "patriarchs" of our trip)...  They have been a huge blessing to so many on the trip and in the village!!  Both are proof that your witness and mission are never over, until Jesus returns!!

- Jacob (This is the Berg's sponsored kiddo, Read More Here)... He is someone who's name is said almost nightly in the Berg home at prayers and I know some day the kids will get to meet him in person!!  *Below is a picture from the feeding program we get to pay for so he can eat once a day in Neply!!

- New Beginnings' first international Marriage & Family Conference... This week we are hosting a conference to teach the Biblical view of Marriage and Family here in Neply (Folks from all over, some walking miles, came to be apart of several hours of conversation on Family Ministry!!

- And if those weren't cool enough: Families serving together (The Colley's are all four here serving side-by-side-by-side-by-side)!!  From Gabbi letting girls in the village play with "blan" hair, Victoria hugging every special needs kid, to David & Dana showing couples what mutual respect in marriage can look like, Family ministry is happening at New Beginnings AND AROUND THE WORLD!!

This is the mission of Jesus... This is the Faith Mission!!  Our prayer is that everyone at New Beginnings would:

1. Get a passport & save up $1,000, so you're ready when God calls
2. Begin looking for opportunities to engage the Faith Mission right now
3. Pray about going with us to Haiti in November or next summer!! 

I hope you consider coming to Haiti this November (there are 5 spots still available)... Sign-up by e-mailing Matt Fowler immediately (Matt@NBChurch.info)

Thank you for giving freely and sacrificially so the Gospel of Christ can be shared and Family ministry can be taken to the ends of the Earth!!

May God continue to use the body we call New Beginnings!!

Family Ministry Staff Transition

May 24, 2013

Dear New Beginnings Church Family,

It is with a heavy heart this day that I am announcing my desire to minister in new pursuits apart from New Beginnings Baptist Church. My resignation will be effective upon a date that the MLT agrees upon to allow us ample time to transition. My family and I are very grateful for the opportunity we’ve had here to journey with you experiencing the depths of God’s goodness and of His will for this church to minister to families in the Tulsa, OK area. It is no easy thing to try and use the wisdom that comes from the Holy Spirit and the Word of God to try and discern what are the proper steps to take in life. The Lord has opened multiple doors for us to pursue further evangelistic ministry at camps, revivals, church training and family events across the south. We feel that this move will be honoring to the Lord’s calling in my life.

May this congregation know that we depart with great encouragement by the work in the area of Family Ministry, that the Lord is doing through New Beginnings and for your commitment to gather together in the love displayed in the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Having met with a portion of the MLT team this week, it became evident to me that my ministry is not a proper fit for the wellbeing of this church. The path to spiritual maturity will not always be easy or comfortable. But it is the only path for a church of Jesus Christ to be on. Follow your devoted church leaders, as they follow Christ.

The wonderful thing about the body of Christ is that there are never goodbyes. Not only do we have eternity to look forward to as we worship our Savior in all of his glory, but I’ve certainly come to discover that ministry with people leaves close ties that you simply cannot sever. We will certainly be in prayer for the health and growth of this body of believers. We will certainly covet your prayers as we begin a new part of our journey serving the Lord.

To the praise of His glorious grace,

Travis Young

Home

There is just something about being home... Familiar surroundings invite you to let your guard down and be yourself in a place where you’re truly known. Home is a place of rest – a retreat to escape from the demanding world each day. It’s safe and it’s secure. Indeed, there is something very special about home.

It is heartbreaking thinking that because of the disastrous tornadoes of a week ago, so many will be forced to re-establish a new “home”. Thankfully this state has pulled together and offered hope to our neighbors in need and shown that home is more than just a location. It is not remanded to a certain house or city but to an environment that offers a sense of love and belonging.

But if home is more about what you make it than where you make it, there is an important question to ask. What kind of home are you building and what type of environment have you created? While my desire is that we all might enjoy the fullness of a safe, encouraging, life-giving home, I pray there is more.

Recent events have reminded us of the fragility of life and the uncertainty of tomorrow. Shaken and scared, our hearts look to the God that is bigger than all hurt and fear. Scripture speaks of a sacred rest that is found in Christ (Hebrews 4:1-11). Greater than any earthly home that can be taken away, our hope in Christ is a spiritual haven – an anchor for the soul (Hebrews 6:19). We simply come as we are, trusting in the Savior, and discover a sense of home satisfaction for our tired, weary souls. For it is in Christ that we finally find rest.

I’ve grown up in Oklahoma my entire life but have never been more proud to call this my home. I’m touched to be a part of such a remarkable state where people are willing to compassionately reach out and help each other. But if I’m honest, I’ve also found myself longing for my heavenly home. I’m ready to be free from the heartaches and burdens that are so connected to this life and be united with the One who carries us through these trials. This past week has reminded me of how blessed I am to live in the heartland but even more grateful that my soul is anchored to Christ.

In more ways than he may have originally intended, I think that L. Frank Baum penned it rightly. For truly, “There is no place like home.” 

OVER PROTECTED CHILDREN ☹

Josh on Mission Trip in Mexico

This is one of my favorite photos of my son, Josh. Carol and I named our only son Joshua Phillip because the name Joshua means “YAWEH is Salvation.” The name has always denoted Strength and Courage! Josh has been with me and Carol on mission trips to Mexico and Louisiana. He comes alive on mission trips. I love watching his faith and courage come into view when he is led out of his comfort zone on a mission trip.

As difficult as the sights and sound of the tornado damage has been this week, I have observed something happen with immense pride. I have been so very proud to watch my son, Josh, leverage his celebrity in OKC to assemble a small army of volunteers to help with disaster relief in Moore this week. I didn’t have to call him and ask him to do something. The need to help in a crisis is “in him.” He may not be able to define a missional disciple, but he is willing to BE one.

We parents innately desire to protect, to love, and to offer comfort to our children. Parents are simply reacting and responding the way they have from the very first time they heard their infant cry. However, if parents want their children to become strong, courageous, and heroic they will let them experience life outside their “comfort zone.”

It is outside the comfort zone where children discover that they can no longer rely upon their own strengths and securities, so they begin to learn to depend on God for His strength.

Francis Chan says, “Life is comfortable when you separate yourself from people who are different from you … but God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if he doesn’t come through.”

Isn’t it intriguing to think about what God's intentional plan is for their children. Parents have no idea what their children will be someday, or who they will influence, or the kinds of things they will be involved in that will build the kingdom of God.

God understands our children and their individual futures far beyond what we parents could ever imagine. We parents should, then, desire to help our children navigate through new trials and uncomfortable places, in order to build their faith muscles, rather to play the part of the hero who rescues the child from any difficulty. Our desire is to protect our children at any cost, when really protection is not what our children need the most. It is counter intuitive for us parents to let their children risk or be upset.

Sallee family disaster relief
Mission Trip for Hurricane Katrina

Two critical questions over protective parents:
• If we know that spiritual growth comes out of our most painful trials, why do we try to protect our children from similar experiences?
• Why would we want to keep our children from the very things that we know, firsthand, will grow their faith in God and their dependence on Christ?

We parents, with the best intentions, lose sight of the end goal (i.e.: raising strong and courageous missional disciples). Do we often sacrifice the end goal for the temporary pleasures of today’s young family’s culture:

• Parental sedentary lack of involvement?
• Easy media over saturation (smart phones, mp3 players with headphones, purposeless internet browsing, unsupervised social media involvement)?
• Distracting our kids boredom
  • With video games?
  • With digital entertainment,
  • With substituting the TV for parenting?
  • With frantic and hectic involvement in kids sports where parents just sit on the sidelines?

When we parents find our families existing only in places of comfort and complacency we must anticipate the future problems. It’s our responsibility to identify the drawbacks.

Are we putting our children in danger:
• Of becoming lazy?
• Of learning incessant complaining?
• Of chronic boredom?
• Of avoiding responsibility?
• Of becoming spoiled brats?

Parents who refuse to allow the culture to dictate their kids faith understand the vital nature of Faith Mission. They understand the nature of authentic discipleship. They intentionally create opportunities, outside of their and their kid’s comfort zones, to expose themselves and and their to situations that will challenge their faith and their human experiences forever.

What kind of Faith conversations would occur if we parents intentionally exposed our kids to:
• Mission trips: local and abroad?
• Diverse cultures?
• Strange religious beliefs?
• Different sociological demographics?
• Different economic situations?
• Different political structures?

What would changes in our hearts if we, as families, invested our time and our energy:

• In local community-senior homes?
• In local food kitchens?
• In homeless shelters, and food banks?

Giving our children these experiences enables us to discuss what Jesus said about such circumstances. Each of these opportunities gives families time to be stretched, to be learners about the way others live and see beauty in places where they least expect it.

By the way, the day this blog appears my son Josh will be appearing on the Joey & Heather morning show, 8:50, talking about Saturday’s relief show and playing a new song! I’ll be tuning to WILD 104.9 radio OKC. I've never tuned in to WILD 104.9. But today a strong and courageous missional disciple in being interviewed! I need to hear this!

Living intentionally

Over the past couple of weeks, we have had two funerals at the church. One of those funerals was for a 22 year old young man. He died in a motorcylce accident. His father gave one of the best eulogies I have ever heard. He talked about how his son knew the Lord, how he loved life, and how he "lived" life to the fullest. He didn't apologize for wanting to celebrate his son's life in the midst of such grief.

Yes, he talked about how he has grieved and fallen on the floor crying, but he said he was determined not to be angry at God. He was determined to make sure that everyone at the funeral knew why he could still have hope in the midst of such a devasting loss to him and his family. He talked about salvation.

 Anyone who sat through that service got to hear a great message for how to receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour. He did not sugar coat it or water the Gospel message down because he wanted everyone to know that if they would accept Jesus as their Lord and Saviour they would see his son again in heaven. We went on to talk about our lives on this earth only being seconds compared to eternity. He explained how our souls are eternal and that we only have a shell called a body that we live in on this earth and how this body will pass away, but our soul will live on in eternity. He stated that we have a choice to make as to where we want to spend eternity.

Then he sat down and the pastor who was a friend of the family got up to speak. And he talked about how this man raised his sons. How everyone respected his sons. How he chose to spend less time at work and more time with his family when the sons were very young so that he could help to make an impact on their lives as their father.

And then I didn't have to wonder how, in the midst of so much grief, this man could still have the strength and the hope that he shared. This man lived his life intentionally. He was determined to be the Godly father that he was called to be and I believe he was thankful for the 22 years that he was able to share with his son, even though his sons life was cut short according to our human standards. According to God's we are not guaranteed one more breath.

So after this week of tornado damage in Oklahoma, where lives have been lost, some cut way to short, take a few minutes to reflect on our lives. Reflect on how "intentional" we are living our lives, as fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, grandmas and grandpas, sons and daughters. We only have so much time on this earth to make a difference for the kingdom. We are not guaranteed one more breath. Be strong and courageous. Share the hope for which you have in you.

2nd Corinthians 3:12 "Therefore, having such a hope, we use great boldness."

Do you have “dates” with your daughter?

It may not be officially "summertime" but this is Oklahoma and the weather doesn't get much better than this... And with that, what are you doing with your time?  

The Berg's love getting out together (Not to mention Berg Family Fun Nights)... And Court and I LOVE having "Daddy-Daughter"/"Mommy-Son" Dates!!  Do you!?

((Here's a pic from a recent Daddy-Daughter Date to Claire's))

*A lot of dads like the idea, but they don’t know where to start. Here's a quick blurb from dad and blogger Jay Payleitner.  

Here is Jay’s simple advice for that challenge: Enter her world and enjoy your time together.

Jay continues: “You can’t force deep, meaningful, life-changing conversations. But if you keep showing up … they’ll happen. And you’ll be glad you were there.” Click here to keep reading the blog.

Jay provides about a hundred different great ideas you can carry out with your daughter at her age—and I know at least some of them will be great with sons, too.

Jay’s bottom line:

“The primary purpose of dating your daughter is making memories and cementing your lifetime connection. But there’s another huge benefit to showing up on time, opening her car door, treating her with respect, and handling any mishaps with grace and a smile... You’re modeling for your daughter the way any boy should act when she goes out on any date at any time.”

Also, I think one of Jay’s suggestions will really surprise you: “In the middle of your time together, hope something goes terribly wrong.” More ...

Since every father-child relationship is different, what ideas do you have to add? Maybe you can help another dad bond with his child. What are your secrets?

*Excerpts taken from Carey Casey (CEO of National Center for Fathering) post.

We should probably do it now...

Several weeks ago I overheard our kids talking to each other. What they had to say has stuck with me ever since, and today I’m going to share it with you. So please allow me set up the scene… It was a Monday afternoon and I was developing a painful migraine. My wife was at work and the kiddos were out of school and hanging with me. While I knew I needed to go lay down before I started feeling much worse, I also had to grab something from my office.

Probably because I had hardly spoken at all on the drive over, our oldest sensed that something was wrong and asked, “Dad, are you mad or something?” I replied, “No buddy, just got a bad headache.” As we continued walking down the hall I heard our little girl whisper to her brothers behind me, “Let’s pray for daddy.” To which our middle child affirmed and added, “Yeah and we should pray right now.”

I noticed they stopped and began praying for me to feel better soon. I pressed on to grab whatever it was that I needed so we could return home. But as I think back on those words now, I’m impressed by how simple and profound their thoughts were… “We should pray and we should do it now.”

I’m quite forgetful at times, especially when it comes to remembering special prayer requests. I often find that if I don’t stop to write it down or pray immediately, well, I may not ever pray for that particular need at all. I’m ashamed to admit it but unfortunately it’s true. While the bible commands us to be in constant prayer (1 Thessalonians 5:17), not only for one another (James 5:16) but in all things (Philippians 4:6), we often forget…or simply put it off until later, when perhaps the Spirit of God is prompting us to pray in that very moment.

I’m always captivated when I consider the great purpose and intentionality of God with His creation. He makes no mistakes and does nothing by accident. God has uniquely and intricately crafted each of us to carry out a special purpose in this life, and scripture constantly reminds us of how intimately acquainted God is with His children.

Over the years I’ve attended many different “prayer meetings”, some of which wound up producing a really long tally of various needs. And as I consider how God is so familiar with all of my ways & thoughts, it has made me wonder… Out of an exhaustive list of prayer requests, why is it that some just seemed to stand out more than others and remain on my mind throughout the week? I truly cared for each. I was genuinely concerned for the people and situations involved but over and over, I kept coming back to just a few.

Could it be that the Lord places certain things on our hearts so we indeed will pray? Might it be the God of the universe has given a specific burden to you in order that you (& maybe just you) will be interceding on behalf of another? With tornadoes ripping through the backyards of our neighbors, with families constantly under attack, violence on the rise all around, and the struggles we each face daily, perhaps the Spirit of the Lord is wooing us - beckoning us to listen and come to this conclusion…friends, we should pray and we should probably do it now.