OVER PROTECTED CHILDREN ☹

Josh on Mission Trip in Mexico

This is one of my favorite photos of my son, Josh. Carol and I named our only son Joshua Phillip because the name Joshua means “YAWEH is Salvation.” The name has always denoted Strength and Courage! Josh has been with me and Carol on mission trips to Mexico and Louisiana. He comes alive on mission trips. I love watching his faith and courage come into view when he is led out of his comfort zone on a mission trip.

As difficult as the sights and sound of the tornado damage has been this week, I have observed something happen with immense pride. I have been so very proud to watch my son, Josh, leverage his celebrity in OKC to assemble a small army of volunteers to help with disaster relief in Moore this week. I didn’t have to call him and ask him to do something. The need to help in a crisis is “in him.” He may not be able to define a missional disciple, but he is willing to BE one.

We parents innately desire to protect, to love, and to offer comfort to our children. Parents are simply reacting and responding the way they have from the very first time they heard their infant cry. However, if parents want their children to become strong, courageous, and heroic they will let them experience life outside their “comfort zone.”

It is outside the comfort zone where children discover that they can no longer rely upon their own strengths and securities, so they begin to learn to depend on God for His strength.

Francis Chan says, “Life is comfortable when you separate yourself from people who are different from you … but God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if he doesn’t come through.”

Isn’t it intriguing to think about what God's intentional plan is for their children. Parents have no idea what their children will be someday, or who they will influence, or the kinds of things they will be involved in that will build the kingdom of God.

God understands our children and their individual futures far beyond what we parents could ever imagine. We parents should, then, desire to help our children navigate through new trials and uncomfortable places, in order to build their faith muscles, rather to play the part of the hero who rescues the child from any difficulty. Our desire is to protect our children at any cost, when really protection is not what our children need the most. It is counter intuitive for us parents to let their children risk or be upset.

Sallee family disaster relief
Mission Trip for Hurricane Katrina

Two critical questions over protective parents:
• If we know that spiritual growth comes out of our most painful trials, why do we try to protect our children from similar experiences?
• Why would we want to keep our children from the very things that we know, firsthand, will grow their faith in God and their dependence on Christ?

We parents, with the best intentions, lose sight of the end goal (i.e.: raising strong and courageous missional disciples). Do we often sacrifice the end goal for the temporary pleasures of today’s young family’s culture:

• Parental sedentary lack of involvement?
• Easy media over saturation (smart phones, mp3 players with headphones, purposeless internet browsing, unsupervised social media involvement)?
• Distracting our kids boredom
  • With video games?
  • With digital entertainment,
  • With substituting the TV for parenting?
  • With frantic and hectic involvement in kids sports where parents just sit on the sidelines?

When we parents find our families existing only in places of comfort and complacency we must anticipate the future problems. It’s our responsibility to identify the drawbacks.

Are we putting our children in danger:
• Of becoming lazy?
• Of learning incessant complaining?
• Of chronic boredom?
• Of avoiding responsibility?
• Of becoming spoiled brats?

Parents who refuse to allow the culture to dictate their kids faith understand the vital nature of Faith Mission. They understand the nature of authentic discipleship. They intentionally create opportunities, outside of their and their kid’s comfort zones, to expose themselves and and their to situations that will challenge their faith and their human experiences forever.

What kind of Faith conversations would occur if we parents intentionally exposed our kids to:
• Mission trips: local and abroad?
• Diverse cultures?
• Strange religious beliefs?
• Different sociological demographics?
• Different economic situations?
• Different political structures?

What would changes in our hearts if we, as families, invested our time and our energy:

• In local community-senior homes?
• In local food kitchens?
• In homeless shelters, and food banks?

Giving our children these experiences enables us to discuss what Jesus said about such circumstances. Each of these opportunities gives families time to be stretched, to be learners about the way others live and see beauty in places where they least expect it.

By the way, the day this blog appears my son Josh will be appearing on the Joey & Heather morning show, 8:50, talking about Saturday’s relief show and playing a new song! I’ll be tuning to WILD 104.9 radio OKC. I've never tuned in to WILD 104.9. But today a strong and courageous missional disciple in being interviewed! I need to hear this!