"You've Got A Friend"

I bet when you saw the title of this blog, you began to sing the song by James Taylor, "You've Got A Friend", right? Oh, you didn't? Well then, here are some of the lyrics to the song just to help you out:

"When you're down and troubled and you need a helping hand
and nothing, whoa, nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there
to brighten up even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name, and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call and I'll be there, yeah, yeah,
you've got a friend."

How important are friends? or maybe a better question is, "in times of trouble, when you need a helping hand", do you have someone who you can call, "that will be there, yeah, yeah, yeah" because then "you've got a friend."

I remember our youngest son, my step-son Kenny, when he was his 7, 8 and 9 age range, he struggled with keeping friends. Kenny was a very strong willed child, with a high energy level. He was very active and most of the time, boys his age just didn't want to keep up with him. Sometimes Kenny was just too rough with them. He liked to wrestle and not every boy likes to do that.

Kenny was sad one day and my wife Monica was trying to figure out why and he said that he never had any friends to play with. So she began to ask him about all of the friends he had invited over. He said that none of them ever want to do what he wants to do. Monica then did a great job of explaining to Kenny that if you want to have friends, you have to "be a friend." It can't always be about you and what you want to do.You need to also do what they like to do for fun too. This was a great opportunity to explain "sacrifice" and that it's "selfish" to always do what you want to do and to make your friends always do what you want to do and not be interested in what they like to do.

Eventually, Kenny began to figure that his mother was right and as we continued to parent him, we continued to reinforce what characteristics make up a good friend. We also had to reinforce what are the characteristics of bad friends or kids that you should not seek to be friends with. I know Monica had plenty of those discussions(faith walks) in the car on the way to take him to visit his dad.

Fast forward to a lunch I had one on one with him a few weeks ago. Kenny is now 15. I asked him about the guys who he has been hanging out with lately. He was able to articulate why he would hang out with so and so and why he would not hang out with so and so. It was a blessing to hear him talk about the characteristics of those he would hang out with versus those he would not and the reasons for each.

Monica and I are also hoping that by modeling in front of them, the friends that we have chosen over the years to hang out with, that they have seen those good qualities or characteristics that make up good friends in our friends as well. We have been very blessed that all of our children have done a great job, for the most part, of selecting their friends.

So what are some of the characteristics of a good friend? The bible has plenty of examples to follow when it comes to the characteristics of both a good friend and those you should not be friends with.
Proverbs 13:20 " The one who walks with the wise will become wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm."
Proverbs 17:17 "A friend loves at all times"
Proverbs 22:11 "The one who loves a pure heart and gracious lips—the king is his friend.
John 15:14 Jesus said "You are My friends if you do what I command you."
John 15:13 Jesus said " No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends"
1 John 4:7 " Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God."
1 John 4:11 "Dear friends, if God loved us in this way, we also must love one another."

These are the some of the characteristics of poor choices for friends::
3 John 1:11 " Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. The one who does good is of God; the one who does evil has not seen God."
1 Corinthians 15:33 "Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”

The right friends can have a great influence on your children's lives. The wrong friends can be a great hindrance to your children's lives. This is the same for adults, not just children.

What kind of friends do you have as parents? Do they model the same kind of friendships that you would want for your children?

 "Winter, spring, summer or fall", do you have someone you can call, that "will be there, yeah, yeah, yeah"? Count it a blessing, "you've got a friend."



Terry Langenberg
Twitter: TheLangenberg
Facebook: TheLangenberg

"You are Special"

What comes to mind when you hear: "You are Special!"

• Do you think: "Yeah right, what are you wanting from me"  
• How about something like: "That's right, I am special bring me my golden slippers"
• Or maybe: "Wow... That was rude, remind me to take you off my christmas card list"

Though I was joking a little above, I feel like this phrase is something we both don't believe about ourselves or we've taken it too far.  It's been my experience in over 10 years of full-time ministry that I often meet two kinds of students: ones that think they're more special than everyone & everything else and ones that think they are not worth much at all.  Yes, there is another group but they are not very common... let that sink in!  The sad news is, as adults, we often fall into those two groups as well.  I know this to be true because I'm on social media!!  I do not believe facebook, twitter, instagram, etc. are the devil but I do think there's something about these public platforms that magnifies our need to either feel special or show people we're "special."  I know this because I do/feel it too... 

• I post that picture (only the ones that don't make me look fat)... and wait for lots of 'likes'!!  
• I share the really good story (after tweaking it to make it a little more funny)... hoping for 'shares'!!  
• I change my status from 'excited' to 'sad'... waiting for someone to comment asking about it!!

Bottom line... There's a reason we are special and it's not a 'what we do' as much as it is a 'why we are'!!  Recently, I re-read a book with my kids that reminded me of this simple truth yet again.  The book was "You are Special" by Max Lucado.  I'm guessing you have probably read it or heard of it but if you haven't, I'm strongly recommending you get it and if you have, give it another read tonight (Make it a Faith Talk this week).

In the book a small wooden person named Punchinello goes about his life as other wemmicks place 'golden stars' on those they think are special and 'grey dots' on those they do not.  As much as I want to share with you the whole story... I'd rather you read it!!  However, I wanted to share with you three things that really jumped out at me in new ways:

1) "...everytime they got a star, it made them feel soo good and it made them want to do it again..." Why do 'likes', 'shares' and 'followers' on social media (and life) make me feel so good!?  Does this make me special?

2) "...in fact, he had so many dots people would come up to him and give him grey dots for no reason at all..." Why do I follow the crowd so easily even if it hurts other people in the process!?  Am I so desperate to feel special that I'm willing to bring others down?

((SPOILER ALERT))

3) In the end, Punchinello meets a girl with no stars or dots "...and it's not because people didn't try..." but because she found her worth in the way the Maker saw her.  "...each day I go and see Eli..."  Why is our culture as lost as I am?  Am I spending daily time with the one whom gives me true worth and direction!?

My grandpa used to say: "It's not what you know, it's who you know!"  Though he was often talking about work, politics, etc. this is at the heart, the Gospel!!  The gospel isn't just for those who don't feel special but also for those that think they are special for the wrong reasons.

May we take some extra time today to make sure our kids hear they are special... May we give our kids a clear reason why they are special... May we ourselves hear that we are special because of the Creator... May we make it a point to show someone else how special they are and may we be so bold to give them the reason why as well!!

The Berg's

*Follow Jeff (Family Pastor of High School), also known as "surgeberg" on: Facebook, Twitter & Instagram

Mixed Messages?

In our D-group (discipleship group at New Beginnings) yesterday, our leader was extremely transparent, honest, and raw. That’s one of the things my wife and I love about our group. He began to share about the tension the gospel demands between pointing our children to work hard and strive towards excellence (glorifying God in all we do) and still holding to what Jesus teaches us, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all” (Mark 9:35). We continued to discuss the lesson that came from the sermon previously that morning at New Beginnings. 

This is what gospel-driven community is all about. We first must get to the place of being real and transparent with how the gospel is driving us to think through the complex implications on very real matters in our daily lives (here it was what we drive our kids towards). The fact that we have this tension between what our hearts desire and what the gospel demands is part of the beauty. We get into danger when we don’t even struggle with the tension—or worse—don’t even feel or notice the tension. 

It is not a bad thing to admit to the tension. That is the reality of gospel-driven growth. We never graduate the gospel. It is what drives us to further Christlikeness (sanctification) and maturity (Eph. 4:11-13). Our pride wants us to keep silent and keep up appearances. We like to keep up the image that we’ve got it all together and got this Christian thing down. We must readily and progressively understand and admit to our need for more of the gospel. The Person and work of Christ are our only hope as we grow towards deeper maturity as well.

How do we teach our children that they should work hard and strive to excel in matters—while at the same time thinking of others more significantly than ourselves? I think most of us, if honest, would admit that we desire for our children to do well and excel in different areas. 

I brought up a point from a book1 I’ve been going through that has made me re-evaluate many things we are doing with our boys. In the book the author writes,“What is it you want for your children?” Later he goes on to ask, “What are your hopes for your children? A good career? A comfortable lifestyle? Safety and good health? Their own home? A happy marriage? Grandchildren?”

Well, those all sound good to me! Sign me up. Right? 

He then writes, “Our true values are often revealed in the expectations we have for our children.” He goes on to suggest that if we’re not careful, “our priorities and hopes for our children suggest that what matters most in life is educational development, career development, social development, and skills development.”

So how about you? Would you say that eternal matters of salvation and Godliness are the chief goals for your children? Does your schedule and emphasis at home reveal that? Or do your priorities suggest something else matters most in life? 

What are you actually showing them that you value? What are you actually showing them that you treasure? Is there the chance that they see that we treasure morals, behavior, image, education, success, athletic or artistic achievement more than eternal matters? 

In another section he writes,

“My wife’s an elementary teacher. She has parents asking for extra homework. My friend coaches a boys’ football sam. The worst thing about it, he says, are the parents pushing their children to win at all costs. The guy a few doors away from me gets his son to wash the car three times a week. It’s clear what matters most to these parents. And that’s what your children are learning is important in life.”

You can see what these parents are desiring to see in their children. A drive for success and achievement. And it is not wrong to have success and achievement. Unless it is success without service for the Kingdom (Great Commission-Matt.28:18-20). Or if it is achievement for self without affections for God and others (Great Commandment-Matt. 22:36-40). 

What if we, unknowingly, while pushing them to personal gains and success, are leading and breeding disdain and indifference for the lost into our children? If they are constantly urged to think through how successful they are in measuring up or keeping up a good image for the family, yet throughout the week are never taught how to contemplate the depth of the gospel in regards to the lostness of mankind, then what are we really teaching them is a priority? That was not God’s plan of redemption that He pursued us with in hopes of us being image-bearers for His glory in all the earth. 

Would being poor(er) and disappearing to a remote part of the majority world that is void of the gospel be success for your child? 

Do you have a plan for trying to see your children trained up in the ways of the Lord? 

Have you thought through the ways you might become the primary disciple-makers of your children at home every week? For me, I have to question whether the 30-45 minutes per week (15 mins @ 3 times per week) of teaching at church would take care of the other 10,050 minutes away from the church building each week? 

Are there mixed messages we’re sending our children on what really matters in life? 

Sankie P. Lynch

Pastor of Families

sankie@nbchurch.info

1 Tim Chester and Ed Moll Gospel-Centered Family (The Good Book Co., 2011)

Connecting the dots...

I can remember doing the number sequence connect the dot drawings when I was a kid. You know, the ones that complete the outline of an image. Often times the shape of the object would be clear from the outset, but on other occasions, not so much. If there were just dots without some order of operation to follow, the task could be quite confusing and difficult. This lack of direction and vision often leads to frustration.

One of my favorite scenes from The Karate Kid (1984) (and yes, there are many other scenes) illustrates this point well. In the clip below, Daniel (Danielson, if you will) has been putting in long hours working for Mr. Miyagi in hope of receiving martial arts lessons in return. After painting the fence and his house, sanding the deck, and waxing Miyagi’s car, Daniel is ready to quit. He doesn’t see the point of his efforts and is about to throw in the towel, when Mr. Miyagi shows us what it means to be a great sensei.

“Not everything is as seem…” While Miyagi was having his young student perform various chores to pay for training, there was a greater reason behind it all. He was developing character and responsibility in Daniel. In addition, each task was actually an opportunity to introduce a principle skill and technique that would be useful down the road. Because Miyagi took the time to connect the dots, Danielson found motivation and purpose to continue.

Seems we all need that from time to time – someone to remind us again of why we do what we do, especially as it pertains to our faith. Unless we are constantly brought back to the hope we have found in Christ alone, we are prone to pursue lists of obedience and righteous acts with a heart that is disconnected. God’s love is our compelling motivation; bringing glory to His name is our purpose.

As parents and leaders, we must look for our opportunities to explain the “why” to our children. There are many examples in the Old Testament but here are a couple of my favorites. Deuteronomy 6:20-25 encourages us to have an answer ready to share…

20 “When your son asks you in the future, ‘What is the meaning of the decrees, statutes, and ordinances, which the Lord our God has commanded you?’ 21 tell him, ‘We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, but the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a strong hand. 22 Before our eyes the Lord inflicted great and devastating signs and wonders on Egypt, on Pharaoh, and on all his household, 23 but He brought us from there in order to lead us in and give us the land that He swore to our fathers. 24 The Lord commanded us to follow all these statutes and to fear the Lord our God for our prosperity always and for our preservation, as it is today. 25 Righteousness will be ours if we are careful to follow every one of these commands before the Lord our God, as He has commanded us.’

Moses makes it clear. When your children ask about all these commandments, let them know it is about something more. The law was given to be an external showing of an inward attitude of thankfulness and reliance. Or how about what we see in Joshua 4:6-8… The Israelites are about to cross over into Canaan. The promise made to Abraham is about to come to fruition, and Joshua reminds the Hebrew people to be ready when given the chance to explain why. “When your children ask in time, ‘What do these stones mean to you?’ You better be ready to tell them about God’s grace and faithfulness!”

See, our tithes, church attendance, and “good” deeds are more than just for kicks. It is my prayer that our lives will make that abundantly clear. What a blessed gift it is to be able to help connect the dots and share our testimonies of God’s goodness. May we always remember and readily communicate why we do what we do, and might our pursuit of righteousness always be driven and motivated by Your grace and compassion.

matt@nbchurch.info

Twitter: @FattMowler

Facebook: TheFattMowler

Hidden Identity?

When my grown daughters moved to California my heart ached a little bit. When I performed their weddings ceremonies in California, and they both married boys from California (both of whom I sincerely love and appreciate), my heart stung a little bit. When my youngest daughter bought a house in California my heart felt a little bit of pain. When my oldest daughter sat us down, in California, and told us we were going to be grandparents my heart stopped a little bit. I know my heart is going to be fine because, although there are wounds due to their being so far away, my heart is also healed and soars because they are both serving the Lord in California.

Raising godly, courageous kids into vibrant adult disciples of Jesus Christ is not for the faint of heart.

The following guest blogger is a member of our church. She is now embracing God’s mission and living on the other side of the world. A godly family, still currently serving faithfully at New Beginnings Church, cultivated her faith in many ways and raised her to become a vibrant disciple. Vibrant disciples are 100% committed to Jesus Christ and His mission. Interestingly, we have decided to keep her location and identity concealed because serving as a disciple/missionary can be hazardous on the other side of the world. If you know, or guess, who this young lady may be please refrain from identifying her on the comment section. I have asked her to regularly submit a blog post to remind us of our Faith Mission.

As someone who is 23, I’m not incredibly old. I have only completed two decades of life. I’m not full of wisdom or experience. But I do know my passions and dreams. I know what God has done in my life and how the grace of Jesus has changed me. 

At the age of 17 there were two things that began my interest and passion for taking the gospel to those who have never heard. The first was a book called, Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper.  In the book Piper talks about taking risks and taking the gospel to the unreached. The second was a conversation I had with Carol Sallee.  At church camp, in the summer of 2007, we were all reading through Philippians. Mrs. Sallee talked to me and a few other girls about Paul’s missionary journeys and the passion he had for the gospel. At this same camp I listened to two missionaries talk about their experiences overseas. I became emotional thinking about the privilege of getting to be apart of something so significant. I knew from that moment on that I wanted this same vision and passion for the gospel in my own life. 

So there I was, pretty confident that my life purpose was to be overseas. I made the mistake of allowing my vision to take me out of reality and what my purpose as a believer in America looked like. I was putting my hope in future plans that really had no guarantee of coming to fruition. However, a couple years after these thoughts and ideas of going overseas began stirring in my heart and mind, I began to gain a conviction for sharing the gospel with my friends who didn’t know Jesus. This was something completely new for me. I had no idea how I was supposed to go about sharing the good news of Jesus with someone. I knew how to pray, so I prayed. I began to see my friends who didn’t know Jesus show interest in spiritual things. Soon, doors to spiritual conversations opened! I got to share the gospel with friends in high school and college. It all began with prayer - with the power of God. Nothing about what I was doing was my work. The Lord made it evident to me that His sovereignty overruled any work or plans I had.

After I learned how to share the gospel in high school and college, I quickly began to find joy in sharing Christ’s truths with others. It became a natural part of my life to talk about Jesus. Some people were receptive, but others weren’t. Time after time God allowed me to encounter people who were without hope and in need of Jesus’ love. This experience of learning to talk about Jesus was life altering. I began to see that the lost are everywhere, not just in Afghanistan, Indian or China. The lost are all around me. They were my friends! However, I still had this tug in my heart to go to the very unreached places in the world. 

Paul’s words in Romans gripped my heart and grew my desire into a deep passion for taking the gospel to the unreached, “…I make it my ambition to preach the gospel, not where Christ has already been named, lest I build on someone else’s foundation, but as it is written ‘Those who have never been told of him will see, and those who have never heard will understand.’” Romans 15:20-21. I had a desire to do this, so I did! I spent 6 weeks in India during summer break before my last year of college. While I was there I was impacted by the darkness of the country and the surprising openness to the gospel. After spending 6 weeks in India I began to pray for wisdom and discernment in choosing a job after college. I pursued opportunities to go to the Middle East and to go to India. Along with these options, I always wanted to keep my mind open to working in America. As my senior year progressed I got an opportunity to spend 3 years in India, and the Middle East option was fizzling. Jobs in America were limited considering I was getting a degree in Sociology. As I considered my options it became clear to me that India would be a great decision! I was excited about moving to India and the ministry that would be sending me. So I said yes! I began the process of moving overseas, which included lots of shots, raising prayer and financial support, and spiritual preparation. About a month after I graduated college I moved to India and have loved the time I have spent there. I’ve been in India over a year now and have come from a place of belief that God needs me in order to reach India to knowing that God is powerful enough to use other means besides me to reach the unreached. I know now that the Lord doesn’t need me, He works according to his own plan. However, I have been given the most incredible opportunity to make His name known in one of the most unreached countries in the world. For that reason, I am grateful to living where I am living and play a part in God’s plan for reaching the nations.

Raising godly, courageous kids into vibrant adult disciples of Jesus Christ is not for the faint of heart.

May we never forget that “Family Ministry is the process of intentionally and persistently realigning New Beginnings Church’s proclamation and practices so that parents are knowledgeable, trained, engaged, and held accountable as the primary persons responsible for the discipleship of their children.”

For just over 2 years now, New Beginnings Church has intentionally begun a process of realigning our congregation’s proclamation and practices so that parents—especially fathers—are acknowledged, trained, and held accountable as persons primarily responsible for their children’s discipleship. It is our prayer that you can raise your kids to embrace a vibrant growing faith in Jesus Christ that makes a difference in the world

There is no holier, higher, and important responsibility for a parent.

Knowing God versus Knowing About God

In her book "Spiritual Parenting", Michelle Anthony writes "We are raising children in a world that denies absolute truth. Yet God's Word offers just that. As we create an environment that upholds and displays God's truth, we give children a foundation that is based on knowing God, believing His Word, and having a relationship with Him through Christ. These are essentials for our faith, and they all begin with knowing God. It's easy to get swept away with the tide of knowing about God. We can memorize a host of Bible verses and facts and still not truly know God. This was true of religious people of Jesus' day, and it can be true today if we're not cautious. Knowing God must always be the center of all we do."

"These are the essentials for our faith and they all begin with knowing God"
1) Create an environment that upholds and displays God's truth
How are you doing this in your home? What kind of environment are you creating that upholds and displays God's truth? Could this be done through communication of God's truth, over time, with our children? Possibly through a "faith talk", or a "faith walk.

2) we give children a foundation that is based on knowing God,
How can we build that foundation in our homes? Could it be by living your lives as a parent or parents that the children "see" that you have a personal relationship with God, that your relationship with God is real and they can see by what you say and do that you truly do "know" God, so they will want to know Him like you do.

3) believing His Word and having a relationship with Him through Christ.
How will our children believe His Word and have a relationship with Jesus Christ?
By having "faith talks", the children get to experience His word through the scripture itself and through "faith walks". We(all who profess to be Christians) have been commissioned to "make disciples" by Jesus Christ himself, through His last words on this earth, in Matthew 28:19-20, "Go therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you."

Our first priority as parents should be to "make disciples" of our children, which begins with them understanding that they are a sinner in need of a Savior and them accepting Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. We can't do that as parents, unless we have understood this and made that decision for ourselves.Do our children "know" that about us? Can they "see" in our actions that we are truly a disciple of Jesus Christ?

Once we have made that commitment ourselves, we can begin to provide all of the above(1 through 3).
If you don't feel adequate, it's because you are not. None of us are perfect. No one on this earth is perfect, but through our prayers, through our own study of God''s Word, through our own quest to "know" God, being a disciple ourselves, we can help our children to KNOW GOD versus know about Him.



 Terry Langenberg
Twitter: TheLangenberg
Facebook: TheLangenberg

What you know is what gets you through...

Today is a very bitter-sweet day around the Berg home... Today is Charleigh's (our youngest) 4th birthday which is amazing, however, it also marks 2-years since the passing of my stepdad ("Pop").

Charleigh & Pop

*A very random fact is that the picture above is the last picture we have of Pop... Yeah, he took it with his "Charleigh girl" at her 2nd birthday party!!

Though this post isn't about raising a family or teaching you some faith talk skills... It is about the reality of family!!  Pain is apart of this world and when it happens in our families it can do a lot of things.  Because of loss I have seen bitterness, arguments, divorce and even death BUT it doesn't have to be like that.  We have a choice to move forward through the pain.  Though I cannot give you a 'ten step program' on how to get through it, I know one key factor: God is Good...All the Time!!

This truth doesn't change the hurt, I know that too... Sometimes things hurt real bad!!  Though I do not know all the reasons 'why', I do know that God is king, I know that God is good and I know God loves me (and you)!!  I know that no matter what happens He is unchanging in his promises and Truth!!  I know that we will experience hardship and pain while here on Earth BUT I also know that I am called to love in this season as I prepare to live forever in a place with no pain-hurt-sin!!

In a letter written to a small community of believers in the city of Corinth over a thousand years ago, Paul writes:  

"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.  For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ.  Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer.  We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us.

We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it.  In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.  And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us.  And you are helping us by praying for us. Then many people will give thanks because God has graciously answered so many prayers for our safety."

May God pull you out of whatever you are going through... May you have a few things you "know"... May He use you to share your hurt in loving others... May we choose to praise Jesus in these times, even when we don't see a reason why... May we find peace in His love... May you love your families the way God loves us: unchanging... May we find rest from the pain today!!

Pop & Little Jeff

Jeff (Family Pastor of High School), also known as "surgeberg" on: Facebook, Twitter & Instagram

They Are Always Learning Something

Do you pray? Do you really pray...a lot? 

Do you ever feel like a failure at prayer? Do you ever feel like you’re letting God down because of your lacking prayer life? 

                                               They are learning good and bad traits...even in prayer!

Why do you pray?

1. I am supposed to.
2. I feel like God is not happy with me when I don’t pray--so I do it. 
3. I believe God is obligated to deliver all blessings, prosperity, health, and wealth to  “do everything that I ask in Jesus name.”
4. I feel closer to God if I start out the day in prayer. 
5. I think I don’t sin as much during the day if I pray early. 
6. To get what I need from God.

Children are always learning something--they may be learning some bad habits we didn't even realize we were teaching. I was sitting at Starbucks and literally broke down in tears. I realized that we’re not exampling for them a war-time mentality prayer life. I want them to possibly taste the richness of living in between two very real Kingdoms. I want them to think contemplatively about living as sojourners and strangers while here on earth, but awaiting a true eternal home. I want them to ponder deeply the reality that they can, in prayer, grab the the hem of our Lord's robe and faithfully cry out to a loving heavenly Father who is more real and personal and powerful than we can imagine! I want them to live and pray in that reality. So, is that what I'm revealing and modeling for them? 

We are trying to teach our boys that living a Godly life is the most important thing--that living for Jesus and His cross is the lens that everything else is filtered through--that loving God and loving others is the most important rule when they graduate at 18--not material gain or financial success or impressive positions or enviable possessions or superficial abilities or surface looks or cool personalities or influential popularity. None of that matters.  Living for God’s glory in whatever capacity that takes or whatever they choose to do is what we try to point them to. 

We read Bible stories almost every night. We have Faith Talks. We pause to capture God Moments during the day (Faith Walk) and point out something small that points to something great about God in the mundane happenings through the day. We have several “Milestones” to walk them through as they grow up. We use correction times to point their heart to the gospel instead of just modifying their behavior. We pray at many meals. We use meal times to do “highs & lows” and to talk about how God breaks into our day. We end many nights with “ascribing glory to God” by listing one thing we’re thankful that God did in our lives that day. We pray at the end of Bible readings and we pray for hurts and other circumstances. 

That list is not to impress you or brag about what we do. Different families do lots of different things in training their children in the ways of the Lord. Many do a lot better job than we could imagine. We fight for consistency, but fail in so many areas. All of that is not to list out “what we do” for Christ or “what we do” as Christian parents. The point is just the opposite. We do many of those things, but is there a whole realm we’re not exposing them to? Is there a posture and attitude of humble dependence upon what Christ has already done on their behalf (and our behalf) that is seen in our prayer life in front of our children? Do they see what Jesus said, “...apart from Me, you can do nothing” (John 15:5) is what their parents believe and live by? Are they seeing that humbled posture of dependence because of the way we pray? What would children learn if parents consistently poured out their hearts together in the living room together? I know...I know... “ain’t nobody got time for that!” We’ve got school events and practices and hobbies and stuff to do. 

What crashed on me at Starbucks was the reality that our prayer times with them are generally short and predictable. I understand they are still young and extended prayer times would not work well at this point. But what was so devastating to me is that fifteen years ago--I remember overhearing friends say, “he’s a prayer warrior...” “every time I get with him we’re praying.” Again, I’m broken as I’m writing this part. Here’s what hits deep--Would my own boys describe me as a prayer warrior? Are they growing up seeing dad as overwhelmingly aware of his own insufficiency and desperate state of needing more of Christ’s power? Do they see that--or do they see a self-sufficient, semi-productive, got-it-all-together dad? 

You see, I’ve had fifteen years of ministry experience now. I’m seminary trained. I know all kinds of categories of doctrine now. I’m at my second really solid theological church. I’ve become somewhat “professional” at this trust and obey gig. 

Resume’s don’t matter much in the faith and understanding of little boys and girls. 

I pray for our boys’ salvation. I’ve heard some pastors and parents say that they have never missed one day of praying for their child’s salvation and future mate. I feel like a failure. I’ve missed many days of praying for their salvation--not to mention their future mate. And what’s funny--sometimes I have the ridiculous thought that since I’m a pastor and haven’t prayed that prayer everyday--that God may be holding back salvation for a while because I missed some days. Is that jacked up or what? That’s the furthest thing from understanding the grace of this Jesus I know. Follow that to it’s conclusion--Jesus’ death on the cross plus my consistency in prayer earns salvation for my boys. Wow! That’s a jacked up Jesus! That’s not what He does at all. I don’t live in that thought very long--a few seconds maybe--but the fact that it pops up repeatedly and tries to stir guilt  is crazy. 

Do you pray much as a family together? Does your family actually go to God together for the things each individual is facing in life, school, relationships, health issues, finances, burdens, hurts, etc? If not, what are we pointing them to in dealing with all of these crucial areas of life? We may be unsuspectingly teaching them to deal with all matters of life without prayer. 

What if children were accustomed to processing through life circumstances AS IF God were right there in their living room with them--that active--that close--that loving--that involved--that compassionate--that sovereign--that trustworthy. Instead of “bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies, Jesusname, amen.” 

Our children see and learn that going to church and learning about God is important. They see and learn that we’re supposed to smile and be nice to others. They may even see us serving in different capacities. But as we try to get them to see and learn that Jesus is the centerpiece of our home and all of life--are they seeing parents as transparent, spiritually bankrupt, gospel-starving people crying out to a Sovereign Lord in prayer? Are we preparing a generation for that--or for their own self-sufficient attempts at good morals and westernized success? 

What are they learning by our non-participation in true, gut-wrenching, Spirit-empowered prayer? 

What’s holding you back from those kinds of prayers in your home this week on a couple of nights? 

Sankie P. Lynch

Pastor of Families

sankie@nbchurch.info

Every Picture Tells a Story

Though it is commonly said that a picture is worth a thousand words, this is a Monday following a long weekend and nobody’s got time to read (or write) a blog of such length. So we’ll opt for the back-up cliché this week. In the words of the great singer-songwriter, Rod Stewart, “every picture tells a story, don’t it.”

So what’s the story with this one? Well, judging by the river rocks and clear stream, you might guess this was taken somewhere far away from our Oklahoma home. You’d be correct. If you know my family, you might suppose this particular somewhere is located in Colorado. You’d be two for two. Judging by those happenin’ shorts I’m sporting, you might also assume it was late in our vacation and I was out of clean clothes. Again, I would have to applaud you for being precise in your estimations. Yet when I look at this picture, it is symbolic of so much more. Let me explain.

I’m somewhat saddened as I gaze at the above picture this morning, I realize it captures what is more than likely, one of the last times I will attempt to catch our oldest son as he leaps to daddy. Brooks is a fifth grader this year and will soon be turning eleven. He has entered our middle school ministry here at the church and seems to be growing at an accelerated rate these days. I was able to catch him and stay dry in this particular photo. However, wisdom would suggest not pushing my luck next year.

It is exciting to see our boy developing into a young man right before our eyes. Really, it is…but it is also a bit scary. Scary because in the same way that I’m ill prepared to be catching this soaring pre-adolescent, I know my wife and I feel even less ready for some of the challenging years ahead. We often ponder questions like: at this rate how can we afford to feed him or keep him in clothes that fit? Which lead to even more important inquiries like: what can we do to engage him with the God of the Bible? How can we help point our son to his Savior?

So in a lot of ways, this snapshot illustrates the reality of parenting. Mom will continue to fill up the memory space on her iPhone taking pics and video of his games, events, and boulder hops. Meanwhile, I’ll be in the mix trying keep up, hoping to help him land safely. However, we are approaching, nay, have already reached the time that Brooks must venture ahead alone. To use this photo as an example, he will have to make some leaps and bounds by himself. He will be facing more decisions with weightier consequences in the years to come. Sometimes he’ll choose the right course of action and other times he’ll end up cold and wet. And there we will be with a towel and an opportunity to teach. While we wish we could be there to help him evaluate all of life’s decisions, we realize we are at times, quite limited in that regard. We also know that his faith, if it is ever to be real to him, must become his own.

So the real story told by this picture is the truth that all our children belong to God. He has entrusted us with them, blessed us with the task of raising them, and ultimately has loaned them to us so that we might learn to trust Him more fully and help our children know that they can do the same. I’m not sure where you are in this adventure of parenting. Whether you’re an empty-nester or a new parent watching your little one take those first steps, I’m going to guess that we have this much in common: it is never easy let go and see them grow. Oh might these stones and the pictures hanging in your homes, serve as a reminder that we have never been the ones controlling their ultimate safety. Rather, that responsibility falls on their Heavenly Father. May we encourage and challenge each other to make much of Jesus in our lives and in our homes… Father, may we do this parenting thing together for our joy and Your glory. We thank You for our children and ask that in Your strength we might steward them well.

matt@nbchurch.info

Twitter: @FattMowler

Facebook: TheFattMowler