“Don’t look Dr. Mohler...my kid’s throwing a fit and I only want to impress you!"

Have you ever wondered why we only see “good pics” on Facebook and rarely see people in the true reality of what goes on in their lives? 

Has Facebook provided an ever present stream of opportunity to impress others with the image of “how we want to appear” to people? 

Impressive Parenting?

Image. Impressing others. Whether it’s beautiful vacation spots, accomplishments, impressive possessions, delicious plates of food, or selfies in spandex--how much is meant to present an image for people to envy? 

Why not present the more “everyday” version of ourselves? 

Sorry to interrupt your study sir!

Have you ever got really embarrassed when one of your kids drops to the floor in a fit of rage in the middle of Wal-mart or even worse...the worship center? 

How about those check-out lines when everyone is cramped in real close and your kids are reaching and grabbing and screaming for the Disneyland of candy placed perfectly in arms reach? The worst part is you can’t really make any good threats because the person with the next cart is only two feet away. And I’d hate for them to think of me as a bad parent, right!

Here’s an idea my wife and a close friend decided to do while we were in Louisville for one of my classes--let’s take pictures on the beautiful campus of Southern Seminary! We have a couple of friends who are great photographers who make special deals with us for photography. They spend hours of work taking photos and editing them in order to have some family pics for their portfolio (including a beautiful woman and at least one cute kid). We get great pictures and memories that make us look better than we really are--both photogenically and behavioral. Even trade! 

Kara, our friend, even went to the trouble of creating little hats and swords out of newspaper and made them capes. The boys loved them. She took us out onto the lawn right in front of Dr. Mohler’s office (as well any other esteemed theologians and professors I may have in class).

What started out as “good,” (below) the image we would love people to think of when they think of our family--is not the best reality. 

Hats, capes, and bubbles!!

Here’s an idea: What if everyone on Facebook took one month and posted only pics of their real life, real failures, real flaws, and real mistakes in all areas of life? No more carefully staged family pics. No more puffy-lipped, I-think-I-look-really-hot-right-now selfies in your bathroom mirror. First, maybe I’m the only one, but I don’t want to see your bathroom. Second, the overwhelming clutter and gross items in your bathroom take away from you regardless of how good you think you look right now. No more I-think-I-look-good-in-my-shades-and-seatbelt-right-now car selfies. No more look-I-just-got-a-car-you-wished-you-had-but-can’t-afford-it in your driveway (you probably can’t afford it either). 

Instead of the pic of your 12 oz sirloin with steamed asparagus, rice pilaf, garnished with a cute little orange peel--let’s see your headed-to-practice-hot dogs-and-doritos-plate highlighted in your home page. 

What if...for one month we all agreed to show what goes on behind closed doors? The meltdowns. The screaming fits. The run-away threats. The name-calling. Again, that’s just the stuff the parents are guilty of. The kids’ stuff is a completely different issue. 

What is your goal as a family? Is it to present something as superficial and fleeting as an image on Facebook or Instagram? Or are you willing to process through the gospel while your kid throws a fit for all to see? 

What’s more important--what people think of you as a parent--or your child’s heart at that moment? It’s tough to prepare and process for the latter. 

Just rearranging the sprinklers. 

What matters more in light of eternity--what people think of your ability to make your children act like robots or shepherding their hearts towards a captivating Jesus who is worthy of their lives? 

What if we showed more of our failures and destroyed the idea of the “perfect image” for ourselves? For some people, that seems like the craziest thought in the world. Some people live to protect family image and the idea of perfection. What if we systematically removed the prideful place of living on a pedestal in other’s minds? 

It doesn’t mean we shoot for mediocre obedience. It doesn’t mean we show videos of our kid’s spankings (it’s probably almost illegal to do that or even mention doing it online!). It doesn’t mean we aim at nothing and have no plan of intentionality in our parenting--because if you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time. But what if we were more honest and forthcoming about our failures and fits and flaws? As a father of three little passionate boys, part of my job is to pray and labor and teach and try to guide those passionate hearts towards the one Person worthy of all passion--Jesus Christ. 

Sankie P. Lynch

Pastor of Families