They Are Always Learning Something

Do you pray? Do you really pray...a lot? 

Do you ever feel like a failure at prayer? Do you ever feel like you’re letting God down because of your lacking prayer life? 

                                               They are learning good and bad traits...even in prayer!

Why do you pray?

1. I am supposed to.
2. I feel like God is not happy with me when I don’t pray--so I do it. 
3. I believe God is obligated to deliver all blessings, prosperity, health, and wealth to  “do everything that I ask in Jesus name.”
4. I feel closer to God if I start out the day in prayer. 
5. I think I don’t sin as much during the day if I pray early. 
6. To get what I need from God.

Children are always learning something--they may be learning some bad habits we didn't even realize we were teaching. I was sitting at Starbucks and literally broke down in tears. I realized that we’re not exampling for them a war-time mentality prayer life. I want them to possibly taste the richness of living in between two very real Kingdoms. I want them to think contemplatively about living as sojourners and strangers while here on earth, but awaiting a true eternal home. I want them to ponder deeply the reality that they can, in prayer, grab the the hem of our Lord's robe and faithfully cry out to a loving heavenly Father who is more real and personal and powerful than we can imagine! I want them to live and pray in that reality. So, is that what I'm revealing and modeling for them? 

We are trying to teach our boys that living a Godly life is the most important thing--that living for Jesus and His cross is the lens that everything else is filtered through--that loving God and loving others is the most important rule when they graduate at 18--not material gain or financial success or impressive positions or enviable possessions or superficial abilities or surface looks or cool personalities or influential popularity. None of that matters.  Living for God’s glory in whatever capacity that takes or whatever they choose to do is what we try to point them to. 

We read Bible stories almost every night. We have Faith Talks. We pause to capture God Moments during the day (Faith Walk) and point out something small that points to something great about God in the mundane happenings through the day. We have several “Milestones” to walk them through as they grow up. We use correction times to point their heart to the gospel instead of just modifying their behavior. We pray at many meals. We use meal times to do “highs & lows” and to talk about how God breaks into our day. We end many nights with “ascribing glory to God” by listing one thing we’re thankful that God did in our lives that day. We pray at the end of Bible readings and we pray for hurts and other circumstances. 

That list is not to impress you or brag about what we do. Different families do lots of different things in training their children in the ways of the Lord. Many do a lot better job than we could imagine. We fight for consistency, but fail in so many areas. All of that is not to list out “what we do” for Christ or “what we do” as Christian parents. The point is just the opposite. We do many of those things, but is there a whole realm we’re not exposing them to? Is there a posture and attitude of humble dependence upon what Christ has already done on their behalf (and our behalf) that is seen in our prayer life in front of our children? Do they see what Jesus said, “...apart from Me, you can do nothing” (John 15:5) is what their parents believe and live by? Are they seeing that humbled posture of dependence because of the way we pray? What would children learn if parents consistently poured out their hearts together in the living room together? I know...I know... “ain’t nobody got time for that!” We’ve got school events and practices and hobbies and stuff to do. 

What crashed on me at Starbucks was the reality that our prayer times with them are generally short and predictable. I understand they are still young and extended prayer times would not work well at this point. But what was so devastating to me is that fifteen years ago--I remember overhearing friends say, “he’s a prayer warrior...” “every time I get with him we’re praying.” Again, I’m broken as I’m writing this part. Here’s what hits deep--Would my own boys describe me as a prayer warrior? Are they growing up seeing dad as overwhelmingly aware of his own insufficiency and desperate state of needing more of Christ’s power? Do they see that--or do they see a self-sufficient, semi-productive, got-it-all-together dad? 

You see, I’ve had fifteen years of ministry experience now. I’m seminary trained. I know all kinds of categories of doctrine now. I’m at my second really solid theological church. I’ve become somewhat “professional” at this trust and obey gig. 

Resume’s don’t matter much in the faith and understanding of little boys and girls. 

I pray for our boys’ salvation. I’ve heard some pastors and parents say that they have never missed one day of praying for their child’s salvation and future mate. I feel like a failure. I’ve missed many days of praying for their salvation--not to mention their future mate. And what’s funny--sometimes I have the ridiculous thought that since I’m a pastor and haven’t prayed that prayer everyday--that God may be holding back salvation for a while because I missed some days. Is that jacked up or what? That’s the furthest thing from understanding the grace of this Jesus I know. Follow that to it’s conclusion--Jesus’ death on the cross plus my consistency in prayer earns salvation for my boys. Wow! That’s a jacked up Jesus! That’s not what He does at all. I don’t live in that thought very long--a few seconds maybe--but the fact that it pops up repeatedly and tries to stir guilt  is crazy. 

Do you pray much as a family together? Does your family actually go to God together for the things each individual is facing in life, school, relationships, health issues, finances, burdens, hurts, etc? If not, what are we pointing them to in dealing with all of these crucial areas of life? We may be unsuspectingly teaching them to deal with all matters of life without prayer. 

What if children were accustomed to processing through life circumstances AS IF God were right there in their living room with them--that active--that close--that loving--that involved--that compassionate--that sovereign--that trustworthy. Instead of “bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies, Jesusname, amen.” 

Our children see and learn that going to church and learning about God is important. They see and learn that we’re supposed to smile and be nice to others. They may even see us serving in different capacities. But as we try to get them to see and learn that Jesus is the centerpiece of our home and all of life--are they seeing parents as transparent, spiritually bankrupt, gospel-starving people crying out to a Sovereign Lord in prayer? Are we preparing a generation for that--or for their own self-sufficient attempts at good morals and westernized success? 

What are they learning by our non-participation in true, gut-wrenching, Spirit-empowered prayer? 

What’s holding you back from those kinds of prayers in your home this week on a couple of nights? 

Sankie P. Lynch

Pastor of Families

sankie@nbchurch.info