A couple of weeks ago I sat in the exam room at the Dr.’s office watching Owen as we heard the diagnosis, the options, and the treatment possibilities. By the way...he was being fitted for shoe implants because he has no arch in his feet. The condition, if untreated, gets worse as children age and eventually damage the tendons and ligaments in their feet, ankles, knees and upper legs. There are two options--shoe implants and permanent implants through surgery. All of this may seem trivial to you--but it’s not trivial if you’re the parent sitting their with questions running through your mind. And it’s not trivial when you’re the kid lying on the table wondering why you have to do all of this.
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| Making casts for his feet. |
I could see the embarrassment and awkwardness on his face as they were starting the examination. He had the fearful, “help me” look on his face that each parent knows well and can recognize on their child’s face.
For a couple of moments, I wondered how this might affect him as he got older. I truly had thoughts and questions wanting to know if he would be “normal” after this? I know that sounds crazy, cause this kid is tough as nails. He's a warrior. He's passionate. But I still sat there wondering, Would he be able to do the things his brothers and other kids do? Would he always have that question of “why” this happened to him compared to other kids?
This scenario, though very real and somewhat concerning, is nothing compared to the circumstances that many people are facing. We have many friends who have children both young and old with much more serious health issues. So I’m not trying to be dramatic over our son’s flat feet. My point is to think through how we process unforeseen events and circumstances of life as we try to keep God at the center.
It’s interesting how we begin to wonder how unforeseen circumstances will affect our lives. Sometimes it doesn’t take long before we begin to ask how this fits in with what God is doing with our lives. That may lead to the next question, “why is this happening to me or us?” And one question we may not realize our hearts are asking that needs to be addressed is, “Can I trust God?” Some people will immediately think thats crazy--but maybe we don’t realize that is the underlying question for many other surface questions.
Can I trust God when adversity hits my life? Can I trust God when I don’t understand what has happened to me? Can I trust God when tragedy strikes in various forms? Can I trust God when relationships become hurtful? Can I trust God when ___________? Fill in the blank. What is it for you? And for me, something as small as flat feet brings a hundred questions of “what if” to my head.
I believe that part of our job as believers and followers of Christ is to attempt to have an answer when difficult circumstances hit our lives. Whether those are grand scale tsunami’s, hurricanes, and tornadoes or whether it’s loss of a loved one, loss of a job, health issues, or shoe implants--we want to know how this fits in with our life and what implications it will have on us. And most importantly, we need to think through, Biblically, where is God when hurt hits home?
We need answers. Our hearts yearn for answers. And we must have a Biblical answer that is far from what I refer to as “Speculative Theology.” Many times people are tempted to speculate on why God has allowed things to happen without having any Biblical stance to back it up. That is simply speculating about God--not knowing and understanding God through His word. We may never have quick and fast answers about hurricanes, tsunami’s or cancer--but we can do more than speculate about God in those times. This is just the tendency of the human heart.
Last week, we attended the funeral of Jamie’s dad’s father-in-law. He had fallen and went into a coma for a few days while they sought to determine his brain functioning. He passed away after removing the life support. Very painful circumstances for families to have to deal with.
We just got a text message from a dear friend and wife of a former colleague at our former church that informed us they had found a large lymphoma in his stomach and swollen lymph nodes in different parts of his body. Again, extremely painful for families to have to deal with.
Later that same evening, I saw a friend’s posts on Facebook where his children were honored at the OU game where they had private meetings with Coach Stoops and got to be in the locker room after the game. They also had a picture of them up on the jumbo screen at the stadium during the game. I didn’t know what the special occasion was so I talked to his brother who told me that both of his children (both under 9) have very complex heart conditions and have already had several heart surgeries and are awaiting future transplants. I have always admired this family for their faith and closeness as a family. These are all wonderful families with very strong faith and trust in God. Nevertheless, pretty tough circumstances for parents, grandparents, not to mention the children.
"Though You Slay Me" Shane & Shane
So where is God when hurt hits the home?
We have two options in answering this question. The first option is to say that God may have been so busy with the universe and all the things going on that sometimes things like illness or tragedy or forces of nature occur and He just didn’t quite make it there in time to provide safety and save people from these occurrences. The difficulty with this view is that it leads to the unsettled waters of open theism. Open theists believe that God doesn’t necessarily know all the details of circumstances and events that will play out in this world because of man’s will and the complexity of random variables working together. In their view, you preserve God’s good name by saying He is too good to allow bad things to happen if He could have prevented it. This preserves a type of God who is omni-benevolent, yet somewhat lacking in omniscience (knowledge) or omnipotence (power).
The second option is to say that God is still in control of all things and all circumstances--and He knows all things. The difficulty with this view is that we don’t like to think of God as letting bad things happen to good people. We don’t like to think of God as allowing little children to suffer or go through hardship.
So, where is God when hurt hits home?
The prophet Jeremiah wrote concerning this difficult understanding of God’s sovereignty in the suffering of people. It is not God’s delight to willingly afflict mankind.
“He does not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men” (Lamentations 3:33). Though while we suffer and go through difficult times, God is present and near at every hour, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness” (Lam. 3:22).
And there is something God is doing intentionally when all of life and painful hours and surgeries and reports bring questions and concerns, “The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. Let him sit alone in silence when it is laid on him” (Lam. 3:26). God never leaves us. He is not only present--He is our hope continually and eternally--in this life and the next! “The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in Him’” (Lam. 3:24).
So where is God when hurt hits home? --God was on the cross hurting so that we might be reconciled and brought back to our true home one day.
Romans 15:4 “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.”
There is incredible HOPE in knowing and loving Christ in the middle of suffering and unforeseen circumstances. The living Person of Christ is in the middle of suffering with us because He has suffered more than we could ever imagine on our behalf. The very heart of the Father understands suffering, pain, and loss more than we can know.
In the middle of suffering or unforeseen circumstances of difficulty, we have the opportunity to get beyond the “facts we know about God” to the living Person who is more near than we dare imagine. He is not “facts,” He is a living Person. He’s closer than we suspect. He’s more intelligent, more creative, and more surprising than we could speculate. Yet He has determined to be known just as much in our difficult times as He is in our good times.
How do we trust God in the midst of our pain? I’ve seen people reach up in pursuit of God searching His word and in prayer. I’ve seen people reach in to the people around them who encourage them and love them in the unity of faith and family. And I’ve seen people reach out in still seeking to serve others even though they could have been self-focused.
We have the opportunity to Reach Up...Reach In...and Reach Out in the middle of pain as well as in prosperity.
So which is it for you? Do you want a God who seems nice and loving--but shows up too late and a bit lacking?
Or do you see a God in the Scriptures who is sovereignly in control of microscopic elements on a cellular level--as well as in control of every molecule of nature in the eye of a powerful storm that may hit our lives at any time?
Sankie P. Lynch
Pastor of Families
nbchurch.info
nbfamilies.info
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