Fearful Parents? Be not afraid!

Most parents engage their children in spiritual training the same way that their parents engaged them. That’s okay if your parents were intentional about raising godly disciples (followers of Jesus Christ). However, if your parents were somewhat unengaged spiritually you may be worried. Some parents at New Beginnings Church could be suffering from fear, trepidation, or confusion because the church has launched a new model for ministry called NBFamilies. There is no need to worry.

NBFamilies pastoral staff is dedicated to partnering with parents to help them become successful influencers in the lives of the children. Face Talk, Faith Walk, Faith Map, and Faith Mission are skills and concepts that every parent will become familiar with over time. The biblical commands are clear. God intends for parents to influence the faith of your children.

Deuteronomy 11:19 states, "Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

Deuteronomy 6:4-7 “Listen, Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is One. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. 7 Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Matthew 19:14 Then Jesus said, “Leave the children alone, and don’t try to keep them from coming to Me, because the kingdom of heaven is made up of people like this.”

When disciple making skills (Face Talk, Faith Walk, Faith Map, and Faith Mission) are a new concept and untested many parents become passive in training your children in spiritual matters. What did your biblical training consist of as a child?

1. Mealtime grace?
2. Bedtime prayers?
3. VBS?
4. Sunday School?

When did you learn that the bible was a wealth of inspiration and encouragement?

1. Preschool?
2. Elementary?
3. Youth?
4. Adulthood?
5. Still waiting?

Many parents are confused about when is the time to start influencing their children's faith. Other parents are waiting until a day when they feel like their kids will better comprehend spiritual concepts. NBFamilies is challenging parents not to wait at all. Developmental experts believe that the first six years of experiences mark a child’s life permanently – positively or negatively. Many developmental psychologists agree that by age 7, the “personality” mold has been cast. Some suppose that faith –while premature—has formed enough to guide future decisions. The following is a list of psychological theorists who have attempted to map the development of faith and morality in the life of the child

• Jean Piaget – Cognitive Growth
• Erik Erikson – Personality Development
• Lawrence Kohlberg – Moral Development
• James Fowler – Stages of Faith

As you begin to experiment with the disciple making skills like, please remember the basics below and the age-appropriate nature of these disciple-making skills.

The Basics

1. Kids can typically pay attention for as many minutes as years they are old
2. Teaching should appeal to all kinds of learning styles
3. Symbolism is a bad idea almost every time
4. This is a formational time for kids. They will be observing your every move and it will influence what they believe about God.

Babies and Toddlers

• Comfort comes first and learning is a close second
• Foundational concepts of trust and hope develop
• Learns through senses
• Needs to explore, and learns by experimenting
• Learning language of faith – As children learn to talk, help instill words of our faith such as God, Jesus, Bible, and Pray
• Repetition is good
• Can be included in Prayer and Worship

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Preschoolers

• Able to understand that God exists even when they can’t see Him
• Love to hear stories
• Still literal thinkers
• Preschoolers learn on the go.
• Kids come to with Trust, open hearts and the kind of attitude needed to approach God
• Repetition is still good
• Deep questions don’t require deep answers

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Elementary

• Knows right from wrong and can tell the difference between real and fantasy
• Teaching should be simple and clear with concrete examples – relatable to their own life
• Able to sense their need for a personal relationship with God
• Never spend long on one activity, but will learn best through stories, questions, projects, role playing, reading, singing, and drawing

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Preteen

• This life stage is the most influential and critical
• Able to sense their need for a personal relationship with God
• Understands chronological orders
• Can begin to apply knew knowledge to life circumstances
• Will become more dependent upon peers approval and interaction

Because my children are grown and gone I can tell you from first-hand experience:

1. When your kids are young (infants, crawlers, toddlers, too young to potty train, too young to sleep all night, preschool-aged, elementary age, etc.) the more dependent they are upon their parents the longer the days may seem to their parents. All parents long for a day when their kids are not so needy.
2. The window of opportunity in which parents can be an influence on the faith of their children slams shut much quicker than they can ever imagine. My next best chance will be to influence the faith and make disciples of my grandchildren.

Seize this opportunity with wholehearted abandoned. Making disciples of your children and influencing their faith to become wholehearted followers of Jesus will pay off now and pay off for generations to come.