The Fear of Being Ignored

I get home tonight from our Wednesday night services and asked my step son Kenny what he learned in his High School class at church. He said he learned about the 6 Core Fears of all teenagers. One of the six he mentioned was the fear of being ignored. He said it was a great discussion and that Jeff Berg led his small group that night. My wife Monica was in the room and she asked me what my worst fear was of the six Core fears.

I told her my worst fear when I was a teenager was the fear of being ignored. It reminded me of when I was a sophomore in high school when I had moved from the town I grew up and lived all my life to a town and school that I knew absolutely no one, except for my brother who was a freshman. My parents were divorced and I had made the very tough choice to move from living with my mom to living with my dad. My brother joined me as well. It was definitely my choice, but this was a choice no child should have to make. Thus, just another reason why God hates divorce, but I digress.

The first two weeks of school I ate lunch all by myself. I was in a lunch room full of students and it was like I was invisible to everyone around me. I sat at a table by myself and no one would sit with me. I dreaded lunch every day and it was only for 30 minutes, but it seemed liked a lifetime. One day I tried to sit down next to some kids at a table and they all got up and left after I sat down. It was one of the worst experiences of my high school years.

Then Kenny chimed in and said that he went through the exact same thing in 6th grade when he moved from living with Monica and me to live with his dad in a different town.His choice as well. The conversation then turned to Monica mentioning that she noticed one of Kenny's friends had posted some really kind words about Kenny on his Facebook page. The message said how much he appreciated Kenny's friendship and how good of friend and person Kenny is to him. That friend was the first person that befriended Kenny that 6th grade year when Kenny had no friends. What makes that story even better is that this friend is not what most would consider to be one of the popular kids. In fact, he doesn't have a lot of good friends. But Kenny, who, over the past three years, has become very popular in his class, goes out of his way to make sure this friend knows he still cares about him. He doesn't ignore him, now that he has become so popular and has many friends.

I couldn't be more proud of Kenny, for understanding it doesn't matter how popular you become, you remember what it's like to be ignored, you remember that everyone is created in God's image and as Christ followers, we are called to love one another.

In John 13:34-35 Jesus said "I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

 It's sad to say that unfortunately even as adults, people are left alone, ignored. They are at your work, at restaurants eating by themselves, homeless, across the street from where you live or in your church. Look for them and remember what Jesus said..."I give you a new command: Love one another".
"By THIS ALL people will know that YOU are MY Disciples."


What's your biggest Core Fear?
- Fear of Rejection
- Fear of Judgement
- Fear of Abandonment
- Fear of Feeling Ignored
- Fear of Humiliation
- Fear of Feeling Worthless


Terry Langenberg
Twitter: TheLangenberg
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