The Beauty of Being Known

A few weeks back while filling up the van at a local gas station, I had a goofy idea. Since the wife and kids were at home and I didn’t notice anyone at the neighboring pumps, I thought it might be amusing to send my wife a specially recorded song. We had been watching Les Miserables at home before I left, so naturally, it only made sense that I use my idle time to record my rendition of Javert’s Stars. Sitting in the driver’s seat, singing a selfie, I eventually nailed it! Unfortunately as I stepped out to replace the nozzle and head back home, I realized that I had gained an audience. A gentleman had evidently pulled into the adjacent pump sometime between my second and fourth recording. Our eyes met briefly and it was pretty awkward. I wanted to explain to the guy what I was doing but I knew there was no use. It seemed no words could’ve excused my singing loudly into a phone.

As I got back into the van, I began to crack up. Sure it was embarrassing. Sure I wouldn’t have belted out had I known someone else was watching. But it made my recording a lot more humorous to my wife when I got home. As I pondered it further, I realized how nice it is to be able to really be myself with her. When I’m with Brittany, I can sing – I can dance – I can do multiple impersonations… With my wife I can be my silly self and it’s okay. With her, I can let my guard down and know that it is safe. That’s the beautiful part about being known by her.

Truth is that this is a basic and fundamental need that we all share. We desire to be known. We long for a place that we can be vulnerable. Even though we occasionally have trouble identifying this need, it is there. The root of self-promotion and shutting down from the world are the same. Deep down we just want to be valued. We want to be heard, understood, and accepted in our most raw and real form.  While no one besides God knows me better than my wife, I am fortunate enough to also be known well by others. As a family we are blessed to share life with other families. We have groups of people that know us and love us and they support us in a variety of ways. This kind of appreciation is reciprocated and helps foster an environment of transparency.

On a personal level, the Lord has placed some men in my life that have helped me lower my guard. These guys are more valuable than they’ll ever know. For instance, when I’m struggling and stressing, I can call on them and know I’ll be heard and pointed toward truth. Now just in case that sounds like some kind of brag, let me clarify. The fact that I have some godly friends like this is purely an act of God’s grace alone. I haven’t always known of my need for this. I didn’t always want community, and I certainly didn’t know how to find it. Praise God, He’s positioned my family and I in place that we can be known.

Community does not come easily and it takes a lot of effort to maintain it. Unfortunately growth and depth of trust are not automatic. However, there is a freedom that comes through such striving that is well worth the quest. One of my favorite gospel communicators, Eric Mason, tweeted this yesterday: “Why hide what Christ has already died for?” Good question, huh!? The fear of rejection has no power in light of the cross. For though man might reject us, Christ has already accepted us. Though others may hurt us, He has healed us. We don’t have to apologize for the weakness that His power is perfected in. We often are scared of what others may think if we get brutally honest. But what happens if that anxiety keeps us from ever being honest and open? What is the prognosis for a life lived behind a mask? How healthy is the suppression of our heart and soul? People, we need to be known! We long for connection and belonging – the place where iron can sharpen iron – the place where we realize others are being refined and perfected too. Being able to remind each other that Christ is King and we’re not here alone…That friends, is the glorious beauty of being known.

matt@nbchurch.info     Twitter: @FattMowler     Facebook: TheFattMowler