If You Love Her then....

I read this from Dr. Nathan Baxter's latest newsletter. I have known Nathan now for about 7 years. He is currently professionally coaching me and helps our staff twice per year at our staff leadership retreats. All of his professional help centers around leadership using biblical principles.This section of his newsletter has nothing to do with professional leadership and everything to do with manning up and leading your spouse by loving her, just as Christ loved the church. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did, Valentines Day is over men, this is for EVERY DAY.

If you love her, then love her. Step up!

Pardon the rant. Men, step up! As a middle age guy who has been married 27 years, I admit, I tend to let things slide in the romance department. No flowers, no cards, no special compliments, no acts of service, no dates, etc. My focus sometimes shifts from nurturing and leading to taking and just being lazy. Romance is a very other oriented deal. If we want romance then we have to bring it to her. I am highly committed to not just having a roommate for the second half of my marriage. I want the good stuff. Every time I see some pathetic guy ignoring his wife or treating her less than she deserves (see scripture below), I try to always recheck myself. “Am I that guy?” Here are some self leadership questions that you may find helpful: When is the last time I surprised my wife? When was the last time I planned a romantic date? Am I listening to her? What are her needs, fears, dreams & aspirations? Am I taking care of myself? (remember she has to look at you all the time. Help her out.) None of us are perfect husbands and none of us have perfect marriages. But here’s the deal. God has brought someone wonderful into our lives and we made a covenant. We should know by now that marriage is everything we put into it. If you don’t put much in, then don’t expect much out. My oldest son is engaged and I am trying to send him little emails with some fatherly advice about his responsibility as a husband. Recently, I reminded him that he must learn to pay attention to her needs, learn her needs, and do what he can to meet those needs. The challenge is that girls are very different from boys and the learning curve is steep. So step up! If you say you love her then love her!

 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her." Ephesians 5:25

Dr. Nathan Baxter,  www.leadselfleadothers.com