Friday, June 28, 2013

Fearful Parent?

In the King James version of the bible the phrase “Fear not” appears 74 times. The phrase “be not afraid” appears in the King James version 29 times.

On Father’s Day this year my daughter, Julie Partin, posted this photo of me and her. Julie said, “That thumbs up can't hide how excited/terrified my adorable dad was to have a baby."

Here are a few of my favorite verses about being fearful:

1 Timothy 1:7 Psalm 55:1-2, 4-5 Psalm 27:1
Isaiah 41:10 Psalm 34:4 Philippians 4:6-7
Matthew 6:25-34 1 Peter 5:6-7 John 14:27

Expectant parents go through nine months of anticipation, preparation, and excitement. But, in reality, nothing really prepares you for the moment the doctor hands you an infant. And then it hits you—you’re a parent. It’s not like babysitting or being in charge of your younger siblings. This is different.

  • Can you do this?
  • What will be required of you as a parent?
    • Nurture?
    • Support?
    • Advice?
    • Money?
    • Time?
    • Protection?
    • Discipline?
  • You have never loved anyone like you love this baby.
  • No one in your care has ever been this helpless.
  • No one has ever needed you like this baby will.
  • This baby is going to need more from you then you’ve ever given anyone else.
  • You’re going to wish more for this child that you ever experienced for yourself.
  • What will this cost me? What will be the toll on my freedom, my peace of mind, my personal time,
  • No one is coming to relieve you.
  • This child is yours for keeps.
  • Is it any wonder we inwardly scream, What am I going to do now?
Sheila Wray Gregoire writes,
Some degree of fear is natural in parents. We love our kids so much that the thought of anything bad happening to them sends us into a panic. Yet, if we’re not careful, this caution can become oppressive. When we let fear dominate our parenting, we can actually shield our kids from the very things they need to be learning

On Fridays, for the rest of the summer, we will address how we parents can lesson our anxieties and learn to trust God with our kids.

Be not afraid!

Thursday, June 27, 2013

"Introducing Generation iY" Part 2

The information quoted in my blog today comes from the book "Generation iY: Our Last Chance to Save Their Future". This is part 2 of a series on Generation iY (defined in the next paragraph).


In his book, author Tim Elmore defines "Generation Y, as being the Millennials, those born between 1984 and 2002". He says "The younger Millennials, born after 1990, resemble their older Gen Y counterparts in many ways, but in volumes of other ways they stand in stark contrast to them. More than any previous group, this younger population has been defined by technology-which is why I believe it's accurate to call them Generation iY."

 My thoughts are in bold below.

"A Portrait of a Generation"
Elmore says "I don't know why you picked up this book, but I do know one thing: the subject of this book will affect you and everyone you know in the next fifteen to twenty years."

Elmore goes on to say "Generation iY will be the largest in earth's history, and iY kids are the largest portion of that generation. Already, nearly half the world's population is under twenty-five years old. That represents three billion people. In America, their numbers already rival that of the Baby Boomers, and with migration-which is a wildcard-their population may grow as large as a hundred million, nearly a third of our population."

Christians, should we be paying attention to Generation iY? Christian parents? Seems like a ripe opportunity for spreading the Gospel. We believe at New Beginnings that the parents are the key disciplers of their children. Could this be the most important generation yet to come? You can make a difference in the lives of your children or as a mentor to a student or young adult, who can then make a difference in the world around them.

According to Elmore, Generation iY is:
An Overwhelmed Generation
"In 2007, the American College Health Association surveyed the largest random-sized sample of college students since its inception. Their study revealed that:
  • 94 percent of students reported feeling overwhelmed by their lifestyles.
  • 44 percent said they felt so depressed it was almost difficult to function.
  • Almost 10 percent had considered suicide in the past year."
 "The stress comes from both internal and external sources. Many of these kids grew up with parents who put the pressure on them to perform. After all, the child is a reflection on their parents. Parents want a trophy to show off as their offspring enters adulthood."

"On the other hand, stress can also stem from a lack of healthy pressure growing up. Children who lived with undue comfort through high school may face a shock when they enter college and face demands that are a little closer to adult life. The transition from the life of ease to a more demanding adult world lead to stress"

Elmore asks these questions: "What if this generation grows up and never finds a healthy way to handle all of this pressure? What if, as adults they continue to seek and find artificial ways to cope? Will America have a large percentage of adults with chronic depression? Will the majority of adults in twenty years be addicted to prescription drugs as a means to handle feeling overwhelmed? What if they perpetually yearn to return to their adolescent years-to escape marriages, job commitments, and legal obligations? What if adult life just doesn't suit them well because we didn't prepare them to be adults?"

Elmore says, "I wonder if we'll see normal responsibilities today reduced to bite-sized chunks in the future: McJobs. McMarriages.McCommitments.Marriage licenses may have three- and five-year options. Perhaps their children will have six fathers, because each successive "dad" was only able to commit for three years. Jobs may be reduced to serial contractual projects-partly because of changes in the job market, but also a manageable response to feeling overwhelmed."

Your thoughts? Can you relate to anything Elmore says here? Can you see how Jesus being the foundation in the lives of the Generation iYer help them to make a difference in the future culture and the lives of their peers who don't know Jesus?

Part 3 to come next week.

Terry Langenberg
Twitter: TheLangenberg
Facebook: TheLangenberg




Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Parents...How do we respond to this?

My heart has been in so much angst lately... That may seem weird or even silly but I lie awake at night with a deep despair for this generation!! And it's not their fault... I'm not even saying it's our fault or the generation of leaders before us!! I actually know who is the cause and I know if left unchecked or ignored it will only get worse... 

Bottom line... Students today are being bombarded by lies at every turn!! Below are a few examples of what I'm talking about:

Number One song on iTunes (as of Oct. 2011):
"Young, Wild & Free" by: Snoop Dogg & Wiz Khalifa (DISCLAIMER: SONGS ARE NOT EDITED)

The chorus is what really made me cringe:
So what we get drunk
So what we smoke weed
We’re just having fun
We don’t care who sees
So what we go out
That’s how its supposed to be
Living young and wild and free



Hugely Famous video that has been downloaded over 250 million times:
"The Lazy Song" by: Bruno Mars

I don't know what I'm more concerned with in this song... That sex is just a "hey, you're really nice...let's do it" OR that he's 25+ years old and the college degree isn't something he's doing for himself but to get 'dad' off his back (It's probably because he still lives at home like most "emerging adults" in their mid to late twenties, but that is a much longer topic for another post):
Tomorrow I'll wake up, do some P90X
Meet a really nice girl, have some really nice sex
And she's gonna scream out: 'This is Great'
(Oh my god, this is great)
Yeah

I might mess around, get my college degree
I bet my old man will be so proud of me
But sorry pops, you'll just have to wait
Oh, oh



I know, I know... Quit harping on the music!! 
Fine let's look at commercials...They're not evening trying to hide 'it' anymore!!
'A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas' TV Spot
Sure... If you cut out the drugs, sex, porn and dismal vocabulary why would anyone go!!

I could complain about Axe all day long... Please stop buying their products, but if you need any reason here's two (Disclaimer: this are real commercials and in my opinion way over the line!):
'Axe 24-7'
'Axe Detailer' 


Since we are on the topic of going to far... Can we not all agree that some of the things we are letting folks get away with, in the name of 'breast cancer awareness', is over the line (and ultimately insulting, since someone is obviously making a profit off being crude and probably not kicking much if any back to breast cancer research or exams)!!


Here's a story that just happened with a school that took a stand: Cheerleaders' cheeky breast cancer shirt spark controversy 

PLEASE hear me... I'm not saying, breast cancer awareness isn't important or that it shouldn't have attention (though you have to admit there's a bunch right now), I'm saying this is over the line and there has to be a better way to show support AND respect (would love to hear your thoughts here)!!


In the end there were two things in our media that I experienced this week that set me down this path of anger and the feelings of hopelessness... The first was a commercial by Norton, it seemed simple enough but it was the last line that caught my ear:
'Protect Your Stuff with Norton' Commercial
The thing is, stuff happens...because what are you without your stuff, better yet, who are you?

Have we really lost our reason and purpose in this life?? Are we honestly only left with "our stuff"?? How depressing and worthless that life would and will be...


But if that didn't effect you like it did me... Then take three minutes (or eight :)) and watch the second thing I heard this week that really made me stop and think about where we are ARE (most would say 'where we are headed', I disagree, WE'RE THERE FOLKS)!!
"Last Friday Night" by: Katy Perry
*Katy Perry, by the way, has already become the ONLY female artist to have four #1 singles from one album ('Teenage Dream') and if this song continues to climb the charts, she will tie Michael Jackson (the only artist of any kind to pull off five #1 singles from one album)

Some of the lyrics in case you missed them:
Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a ménage à trois

Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop
Whoa-oh-oah

This Friday night
Do it all again


This song captures the essence of what I see and hear everyday when I get the privilege of hanging, listening, and loving on teenagers around town, in schools, on facebook, at games, and yes even in church!! The question remains... Is there anything that can be done about it? 

My passionate prayer is quickly becoming...'revival'!! And not the, let's put it on the calendar this summer and invite a cool band revival... I'm talking a movement of young adults with a passion for integrity, conviction and purpose!!! Will you join me in this prayer??


Tuesday, June 25, 2013

6 Word's That Will Change The World

This Tuesday do yourself a favor and follow the link below:

6 Word's That Will Change The World

This mother stumbled on a phrase that uniquely and significantly encapsulates the spirit of NBFamilies.
  1. Read it.
  2. Say it.
  3. Thank God for the way He works in your family.
Let the church say, "Amen!"

Monday, June 24, 2013

"Remember who you are..."


It was the most poignant moment of the production… After living in self-imposed exile for years and having forgotten his identity as the king’s son and rightful heir to the throne, Simba finally heard the sobering words of his father. “You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me!” Mufasa’s voice slowly faded away as he repeated this line to his son, “Remember who you are…”
Look, I’ve seen The Lion King plenty of times over the years. On more occasions than I can even count, the kids have watched the movie in the van as we’ve traveled. I’ve heard all the lines and have come to appreciate it as a solid animated film. So months ago when my wife came up with the brilliant idea to take our family to see the musical presentation of this Disney classic, I assumed I would enjoy it but honestly felt it was just for the kiddos. No shocker here but as it turns out, I was wrong.
I found myself quite moved by Broadway’s rendition of the story! However, it was not because of the elaborate sets or the live orchestra or even the intricate costume designs. All of that was very impressive, but what stirred me was the incredible message from part of the the final act. In one of the pivotal scenes, Simba was feeling alone and as if he had been lied to. Things were not like he had expected. Enter the grand vizier mandrill, Rafiki…
Rafiki is the one that brought Simba back to the truth of his identity. As the young lion stared at his reflection in the puddle, the words of his father returned to him. The following lyrics are from a reprise that’s not in the cartoon. As you read them, please consider the spiritual implications for those who believe in Christ…
“He lives in you, He lives in me,
He watches over, everything we see,
Into the water, into the truth,
In your reflection, He lives in you!”
Maybe it’s just me but I find myself in need of this reminder daily. To know that I belong to the King of Kings, and His love for me defines my worth – not my circumstances, my feelings, or accomplishments. He calls me son and indeed, He lives in me! In addition, His word states that I am called to reflect Him to others. The certainty of this view is empowering and inspiring in ways that cannot be accurately described in words.
But what I found equally compelling is that someone else was needed to guide Simba back to this truth. Oh how greatly we all desire such encouragement! Our children are desperate for it. Our spouse requires it, and our friends are longing for such affirmation. With that in mind, who is it that points you back to truth when this world has convinced you to quit? Just how well are you reflecting the King? And are you a Rafiki to anyone?
Finally, the scene reminded me that it’s sometimes good to look on a story in a new light – to think about it with a fresh perspective. May we gaze at the beautiful work of the cross in a way that causes us to marvel in the fullness of what Christ has done on our behalf. For the message of the gospel continually speaks to His beloved. May it never grow old and become impersonal but revive us each day. My prayer is that we might encourage one another to remember who we are in Christ and be moved to reflect Him well.

Friday, June 21, 2013

A Song and a Prayer for Families

What is your family's song & prayer?
Last week, as my wife Carol was studying Psalms, she came across some Bible truths for NBFamilies. As she typically does, she came to me to share what the Lord had shown her. I love this about my wife. Her spiritual gift is teaching so she cannot keep silent about what the Lord is teaching her in Scripture.
In this passage, the Psalmist prays for God’s blessing to rest upon His people in fulfillment of his promises to King David. God’s blessings is what every parent wants for their children. This is a song that God’s people sing in anticipation of God’s glory and blessing. This is a prayer our families can pray and a song our families can sing.
What is your family’s song? This is an excellent biblical example of how spiritual leader’s passion should cause them to pursue God’s glory. It is on the journey to experience God’s glory that families discover God’s blessings.
Psalm 132:3-5 “I will not enter my house 
or get into my bed, 4 I will not allow my eyes to sleep 
or my eyelids to slumber 5 until I find a place for the Lord,


King David swore an oath to the Lord not to rest until he found a place for the Lord. This passage refers to his consuming passion to build the temple, the dwelling place for God on earth. Although God denied his request, it was his son that eventually achieved his father’s promise. Sincere spiritual leaders - kings, pastors, fathers and mothers - long for their people/families to experience God’s glory. They know that a glimpse of God’s glory will change their families forever.
Psalm 132:7 Let us go to His dwelling place;
 let us worship at His footstool. 8 Rise up, Lord, come to Your resting place,
 You and Your powerful ark. 9 May Your priests be clothed with righteousness, 
and may Your godly people shout for joy. 10 Because of Your servant David,
 do not reject Your anointed one. 11 The Lord swore an oath to David,
a promise He will not abandon:
 “I will set one of your descendants
on your throne. 12 If your sons keep My covenant
and My decrees that I will teach them,
their sons will also sit on your throne forever.”
The song records obtained David’s passion for God’s glory propelled him into action. The people’s song requested that the leadership be clothed with righteousness, or personal holiness. They also sang how godly people would “shout for joy.” Spiritual leaders must be right with God if their efforts are to experience God’s support and succeed according to Gods plan.
Psalm 132:13 For the Lord has chosen Zion;
 He has desired it for His home: 14 “This is My resting place forever; 
I will make My home here
because I have desired it. 15 I will abundantly bless its food;
 I will satisfy its needy with bread. 16 I will clothe its priests with salvation,
and its godly people will shout for joy. 17 There I will make a horn grow for David; 
I have prepared a lamp for My anointed one. 18 I will clothe his enemies with shame, 
but the crown he wears will be glorious.”
God's house is to be a place where Christ is magnified. If God's word is taught and discussed in that house, the glory of God fills that house of worship. It’s God’s son is magnified in that house, the grace of God is manifested in that place.No matter how stunning or simple God's house is, if the Word of God and the Son of God are honored, that place becomes a glorious house of praise. What ultimately makes any house a special place is not it's architecture but it's adoration; not at size but it's substance; not it’s entertainment of man but it’s exultation of God.
May every spiritual leader - king, pastor, father and mother – make a place for God where the truth of God’s Word is proclaimed, God’s presence causes shouts of joy, the glory of God is unmistakable. Such is a place for grace and blessings.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

"Introducing Generation iY" Part 1

The information quoted in my blog today comes from the book "Generation iY: Our Last Chance to Save Their Future".

In his book, author Tim Elmore defines "Generation Y, as being the Millennials, those born between 1984 and 2002". He says "The younger Millennials, born after 1990, resemble their older Gen Y counterparts in many ways, but in volumes of other ways they stand in stark contrast to them. More than any previous group, this younger population has been defined by technology-which is why I believe it's accurate to call them Generation iY."

I'm interested in what Elmore has to say because I have two step sons that both fall into this age group. They are both, by Elmore's definition, iYers. I also have two daughters who are Generation Yers and the boys are just as Elmore defines them "similar to the older Generation Y counterparts in many ways, but in volumes of other ways they stand in stark contrast to them"

He goes on to define the "iY", "because of the tangible impact of the "i" world (internet) on their lives. This population, born in the 1990s and afterward, has literally grown up online. Theirs is the world of the iPod, iBook, iChat, iMovie, iPad, and iTunes. And for many of them, life is pretty much about "I".

"What will Generation iY's future be like? After talking with thousands of students about what they think, I've come up with twenty-six phrases we could hear from adults in the year 2030. Some are tongue-in-cheek, some more likely than others, but together they paint a sobering picture of what life will be like for Generation iY, unless something changes."
1. "I'm really tired."
2. "I'm distracted"
3. "I'm obese."
4. "I'm on my fifth career and ninth job in a decade"
5. "I'm overwhelmed, but I'm dealing with it."
6. "I'm impatient. I make short term commitments"
7. "I'm finishing a marriage contract of three years."
8. "I'm reinventing myself constantly."
9. "I have no innocence."
10. "I'm seeing a therapist."
11. "I love and hate my parents."
12. "I'm bored."
13. "I'm spending money out of control-a quarter of a million each month."
14. "I'm depressed."
15. "I'm self-absorbed."
16. "I spend much of my home time online."
17. "I'm living in a greener world."
18. "I'm passionately following the reunion tour of Beyonce' and Lady Gaga."
19. "I'm stressed. I have little time to rescue my soul."
20. "I pursue instant pleasure and entertainment and will spend to get it."
21. "I'm medicated."
22. "I'm living in a virtual world. (I plan to try a virtual marriage.)"
23. "I've learned to do things faster. My pace of life is accelerated."
24. "I experiment with preferences in gender and religion."
25. "I still want to change my world, but I'm cynical about the possibilities."
26. "I'm a leader in society now, but ill prepared."

 What concerns you about these 26 quotes?

Elmore says, "Ready or not, they are now entering the adult world. And unless we wake up and make some adjustments in the way we interact with them, I predict rough waters ahead."

This is just one of a number of reasons why our church, New Beginnings, is focused on equipping parents to engage and disciple their children, teenagers and young adults. There is hope! We(parents) can and must help to lead the next generation to find their strength and identity in Jesus Christ and Him alone.

"Give me your heart, my son, and let your eyes delight in my ways." Proverbs 23:26

Part 2 next week.

Terry Langenberg
Twitter: TheLangenberg
Facebook: TheLangenberg

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

"Daddy...it's your favorite"

A few weeks ago I was sound asleep when a small hand was placed on my shoulder.  When my eyes adjusted I found another face nose to nose with mine and a sweet little voice followed saying: "Daddy... it's your favorite!"

There's two things that I love thinking about in that moment:
- Charleigh thinks she's my favorite
- It's true!!

Before you get mad stick with me... Keep reading!!  I remember when Jackson (our oldest) was born and thinking: "I can never love someone as much as I love this little guy right now"!!  In fact, when I heard we were expecting Creighton (our second) I remember thinking: "how am I going to love her as much as I love my son".  This wasn't because she was a girl and he was a boy but I didn't have a category for how my heart could handle loving something as much, or worse, was I going to have to love my son less to make room for some love for her!?  BUT, the craziest thing happened... Creighton was born and in an instant I held her and looked at her and thought: "Holy cow, I love her with everything I am"!!  I bet if you have kids, you know what I'm talking about...

However, if you're keeping score at home, you know we have one more... Charleigh!!  And she came to us a little differently... She's adopted (Read more about her story here)!!  Though, I had heard jokes like "you love your adopted kids more because you get to pick them and are stuck with the others" this isn't the thought that creeps in the hours before seeing the child you are to adopt.  For me, it was: "How could I ever love someone more than my own blood?"  Yet, that morning in October will forever be sketched into my mind when I picked up this baby girl and though I was trying to play it cool (because I knew 'failed adoptions' were fairly normal) I thought: "I will love and fight for you the rest of my life".  And for the first time I understood the true essence of Ephesians 1:4-5 "He chose us... to be adopted through Jesus"!!

I LOVE MY FAMILY!!!  And each one of my kids really is my favorite... I don't know how that works but I bet it has something to do with us having the characteristics of God.  You see, I'm God's favorite!!  BUT SO ARE YOU!!!  I know, I know... In our culture we are taught there's only "one favorite" but if you look up the definition it says: "one that is treated or regarded with special favor or liking".  Every one of us are treated with special favor and liking by the Savior--the question is whether you want to see it or not!?  Each one of my kids knows I love them and I hope each one of them knows they are, in fact, my favorite!!

May Jesus bless your heart with the understanding of His love!!  May you see that you are His favorite!!  May we love each of our kids as our favorite!!  May we treat each other with special favor and liking this week!!  May we be a community that plays favorites (loving everyone to the fullest)!!


Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The Future Pastor of Children’s Ministries

With the recent transition in the pastoral staff many are wondering what is next for NBFamilies? The following brief report is given to assure you the future is bright and focus of NBFamilies is clear. Last Sunday morning, June 16th, the Ministry Leadership Team met with me and Terry Langenberg for our regular monthly meeting. The following issues were discussed and agreed upon:
  1. Thankfulness: We discussed how appreciative we are for our faithful volunteers in Genesis Kidz.
    • June 9th we hosted a pre-VBS Carnival where hundreds of families had a time to laugh, to play, and to pre-enroll their friends and neighbors for VBS the following week.
    • June 10-14 we hosted Kingdom Rocks Vacation Bible School.
    • 250+ kids attended VBS. This was the largest VBS in the history of New Beginnings Church.
    • 100+ Volunteer workers trained, gathered, and worked each night with great attitudes and enthusiasm.
    • Volunteer leadership (Katy Wallace, Kerri Bowman – Co-directors; Tony Wallace – Recreation; Cheryl Plumlee – Snacks; Amy Smith – Crafts; Kingdom Rocks the Future: Talk Show with Roxie – Carol Sallee; Kelly Johnston - Music; and many many others)
    • The NBC Staff assisted in their typical manner – willingly, dependably, and professionally.
    • Without exception, everyone involved remarked how smooth running and positive was VBS this year.
  2. Strategy: We discussed how we remain firmly committed to the Family Ministry Model. The biblical assumption that “God has called parents to serve as primary disciple-makers in their children’s lives” remains the compass for the future at New Beginnings Church. The process of realigning New Beginning’s proclamation and practices so that parents—especially fathers—are acknowledged, trained, and held accountable as persons primarily responsible for their children’s discipleship is still our strategy. The leadership is dedicated to finding and calling pastoral staff to lead us in this God-inspired approach to ministry.
  3. Timeline: We discussed and agreed that we would quickly proceed to find a new Pastor of Children’s Families. It is the goal of the MLT to identify, contact, interview and call a new leader before the fall of 2013. We reviewed an aggressive schedule to accomplish this goal.

Although the experience of staff transition can be unsettling, we can be encouraged that the future ministry culture for families in South Tulsa Count is clear:

  • We dream of becoming a church that develops and sustains and integrates a discipleship strategy that combines the relationship and influence of the church and the home.
  • We dream of becoming a church that is fully devoted to Family Ministry.
  • We dream of becoming a church is about equipping families to raise fully devoted disciples of Jesus Christ.
  • We dream of becoming a church that accurately understands biblical discipleship!
  • We dream of becoming a church that effectively passes our faith in Christ to the next Generation so they can reach the nations with the gospel.
Please keep the leadership in your prayers as we search for and call our new NBFamilies Pastor of Children’s Ministries.

God Bless!

Phil Sallee

Monday, June 17, 2013

A greater love...


Some of my fondest memories as a child come from playing at home. No matter where we lived, my dad would always find a way to turn our backyard into a baseball diamond. That meant real, Hollywood bases were laid down; foul lines were either trimmed lower than the cross-checkered lawn or in some cases, actually fully chalked to the fence. Each field had its own unique name and set of ground-rules. 

There was the ivy covered right field wall of ‘Lil Wrigley when we lived in Macomb. Then there was Cochran Stadium in Shawnee, named after our landlord; it was probably my favorite place to play. If I hit the front facing of the play fort in left with a line-drive, I’d get an automatic double. If my little brother connected in the same way, it was ruled a round-tripper, and anything that hit the roof was an out. Even the unfriendly confines of Perkins’ Sticker Patch Field carried a certain amount of charm that facilitated memory making.

It was in these lesser-known backyard ballparks that I began to fall in love with the game of baseball. It seemed I couldn’t field enough ground balls or take enough BP. It was in that setting in which I began to learn to compete. Dad would push me to be better and try harder through methods that were somewhat questionable. He knew which buttons to press and did so quite regularly. Sometimes by inducing ill-advised laughter when I was trying to concentrate and other times by provoking aggravation, dad’s goal was to help me find a way to focus and overcome adversity.

While the hours of work eventually sharpened my skills to be able to play baseball at the collegiate level, there were some negative repercussions along the way. I had developed into quite the people pleaser and found the world around me a lot tougher to satisfy than dad ever was. I also discovered over time that I had misplaced my identity in my ability to perform on a field and was prone to making unfair comparisons of myself to others.

“Don’t go and get all serious on us Matt! With all the nostalgic remembrances, this had the makings of a tender, post-Father’s Day blog.” Well, before you give up on the story, I think that it is worth pointing out that God’s redemptive work through the harsh realities of life is far more beautiful than the candy-coated fiction we often conjure up. See, the best thing that came from those backyard experiences wasn’t anything tied to sport and it was even greater than the quality time that I spent with my dad and my brother. In that environment the Lord revealed a competitive fire in me that when properly guided and harnessed, could bring Him glory.

By the mercies of God, I started to see that my identity was not to be found in things that can be taken away at any moment, but in Christ. I began to truly take the gospel to heart and see that if there was something to strive for, it was Christ. If there was something to rely upon, it was and will forever be His grace. My competition was no longer to be against numbers or records but for something more. I realized that as a believer I was called to compete for holiness through the power of the cross - to press on towards growth in Christ so that I might make much of Him.

And guess who helped me connect some of the dots? Do you know one of the folks that helped me see that there is so much more to life??? My dad of course!! And you thought I was gonna leave him under the bus... Look, the reason I share this today is because I think that we as parents have to be aware of the influence we have – both for trivial and eternal. We must fight the overwhelming temptation to vicariously live through our children and realize the dangers of raising kids in a culture with such competitive pressures.

I’m not suggesting we disengage and cease from competition at all. Rather, I’m encouraging us to see the call to compete for something more! Jesus' prayer for us in John 17 is not to pull us out of the world but to help us avoid all of its traps (John 17:15). May our focus be clear and our pursuit be pure. Might we use the shadows of this life, be it baseball or a dance recitals or everyday occurrences around the house, to point our children to Jesus. May we pull together to compete for truth, to fight for lost souls, to battle for healthy, balanced families, and desire the fullness that is found in faith.

Like the uniqueness of my childhood backyards with their various nooks and crannies, our Creator has crafted us all in a special way in order to bring Him glory. May we not miss the forest for the trees, but see the Father at work and join Him there.