Resolutionary Failure

I ran across a great blog from an acquaintance I met in Louisville who leads a church network in California. His blog was titled, “How To Write a Life Plan for 2014” by Brian Howard. I highly suggest taking the time to look through it. I've already completed most of mine. 

New Year’s Resolutions! For many, like me, that’s just another thing I can feel guilty about failing at—and the guilt may start as early as March. There are some people who use the start of the new year to make great resolutions and they really stick to them. I’m jealous of those people. To be honest, by April or May, I may not be able to even tell you what my resolution was back in January. Maybe it’s the season of life we’re in. Maybe that’s just an excuse. Maybe I’m just not as disciplined as I should be on those type of things. 

• I do like to use the new year to evaluate where we’re at in life. I like to ask how I (and we as a family) am doing and assess any changes that need to be made. I probably like that approach better than having 1 or 2 huge resolutions. It may be that I need the goals to be very applicable and broken down into very concrete, practical steps that can be seen on a daily and weekly schedule. 

• As stated earlier, I think people who stick to resolutions are very disciplined, but for me, it helps to have a main area or category of life that I want to see growth in (spiritual life, marriage, parenting, serving others, relationships, health, finances, etc) and then have specific, concrete steps in order to implement change. (Brian also has a good tool for assessing and evaluating the past and upcoming year here.)

As Brian stated in his Life Plan guide, instead of “Lose Weight,” which is general and broad, I need to have specific targets that fit into my weekly schedule like “Exercise for 45 minutes on 4-5 days each week.” 

Instead of “Great Marriage,” which is merely pie-in-the-sky thinking without the diligence and hard work to better our marriage, I need specifics like, “I will have a date night each week or at least every other week,” and “I will pray with Jamie 4-5 nights each week.” I need to first take the time to evaluate areas that need growth and then implement specific steps to move towards that growth. 

• I know I am probably different from most people on the area of Vision and Purpose statements, but I like to have them and align my daily and weekly schedules to meet those statements. Brian suggests having a Vision Statement for each area of growth you are working on. Both Jamie and I are using this tool this week. I am going to watch the boys for a couple of hours to let her get away somewhere to specifically work out her Life Plan for 2014. I’ve already completed almost all of mine. 
• Below I included my Vision Statement for the area of Marriage from my Life Plan. You can see that I enjoy Vision Statements. Vision Statements are supposed to be short and succinct, but I wanted to have specific statements that are very important to me. There were a few Scriptures that guide me in loving Jamie and I wanted those to be included. I was even purposefully anti-grammatical (and…and…and…and) in order to separate specific goals. 

MARRIAGE

Vision Statement:

“I am a husband who is loving and leading my wife. My marriage and my wife is the #1 priority in human relationships. My wife will know and feel and experience and share and enjoy the oneness in being my first priority after Christ. Jamie, desiring deep quality time, will not feel competition from my time with work, my education goals, my hobbies/entertainment, or even with my time for our children. Jamie will see and experience, alongside of me, a passionate pursuit of Christ where we grow together in loving God and loving others while living our lives seeking to make disciples. I will, by the enablement of the Holy Spirit, be “loving her as Christ loved the church” (Eph. 5:25), loving her as defined by 1 Cor. 13, and try to “do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count {her} as more significant than myself…looking not only to my own interests, but to her interests as well” (Phil. 2:3-4 emphasis mine), and provide security, stability, and enjoyment in life." 

{Create 3-5 concrete action steps in order to implement the plan.}

{Disclaimer: Some people may feel that being this intentional and purposeful (whether in life plans, spiritual parenting or setting goals for the mission of the church) is a form of legalism. For some people, that may be the case, but you have to know for yourself whether you’re a person who leans more towards legalism or more towards freedom. These are not rules, but tools to help. And for me, all of this flows out of being a faithful steward of captivating grace.)

Sankie P. Lynch

Pastor of Families

nbchurch.info

nbfamilies.info

sankie@nbchurch.info