More than enjoyably frustrating...

I often say that middle school is one of the most enjoyably frustrating age groups one can possibly minster to. They are easily enjoyable because middle schoolers know how to have fun. They are like professional kids. They’ve been perfecting the art of having a good time for many years and they bring that special energy with them wherever they go. Because of this childlike innocence, they are also very trusting. They respond well to consistency. You don’t have to pretend to be cool in the ways that are sometimes necessary with older students. Simply be present, be yourself, and you will find acceptance from most middle school-aged children. That’s the enjoyable part. However, trying to reach this group can be a challenge.

Some weeks they seem interested in understanding biblical concepts, they listen well, and appear to be pondering spiritual things in a way that makes you believe their generation just might change the world. Then there are the other weeks… The ones that feel like I’m talking to disinterested toddlers and I question whether or not I am fit to pastor such a crew. To say it simply, there is a lot of seed planting and watering, but not a lot of harvesting. To lead this group, one must truly live by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7).

Over the last couple of months, we have spent time in our weekly programs addressing the topic of purity for life with our students. We have also had time to equip and collaborate with middle school parents in hopes of teaming together to help position our children for success in this area. Since we challenged all of our Wired parents to intentionally engage their children, my wife and I decided we should probably try it too. So, we created some purposeful conversations with our oldest child concerning the topic of purity. We tried to talk with our fifth grader about how this is part of his lifelong pursuit of Christ. We attempted to dialogue in a way that will hopefully encourage Brooks to be open with us, as he matures. But as I consider the effectiveness of our efforts, whether it be with our middle school students or our three children at home, I keep arriving at the same conclusion: only time will tell, and there’s no promise we’ll get to know before our time is up…

The impact of our parenting and ministry to middle school students may not be evident by the time our children enter high school. Truly, we may not even be aware of our influence by their graduation ceremony. Sure there are some ways we can evaluate ourselves to see if we are structuring an environment for success. We can toil and strive to prepare them for the road ahead. We can plead before the Lord each day that He might make Himself known to our children. We know some of the ingredients, some of the vehicles, some of the instruments that God often works through to bring knowledge and understanding. Yet on the whole, the type of investment we make in our children is one that requires great patience and faithfulness.

Now as a parent, this truth helps me seek to stay engaged with our children. It encourages me to live out an authentic, transparent faith for my sake. Sure my wife and children will see my faith play out in the years ahead but I’ve not primarily been called to walk this life just for them. That is, I’m not trying to manage my exterior to persuade them or anyone else. I’m called to seek first God’s kingdom and His righteousness, and trust that He will take care of the rest (Matthew 6:33). As a pastor, this reliance upon God allows me to teach without fear – to be faithfully obedient to present biblical truth as often as I get a chance. I don’t have to worry with being trendy or compelling (that’s a BIG relief), but rather strive to be sincere and available. This is another reminder that I (as a parent and a preacher) must be willing to address the difficult topics – sexuality, suffering, salvation by grace through faith, and the like.

While this may satisfy our desire for instant gratification, it does remind us that we are called to a lifelong commitment. Our faithful longevity will continue to be a big part of ministry even after our kiddos have left the house and the youth group has moved on to their next phase of life. How we trust in trying times, how we repent after failure, how we treasure Christ in seasons of plenty, will all speak much more powerfully than our most impassioned sermons. And since our children’s coming to faith is ultimately out of our hands anyway, it requires that we be dependent upon God’s grace and mercy to do that very precious work that only He can do. There is no to do list that can guarantee safety and favor. I wish there were. There is not some formula that promises our desired results. How nice that would be! However, we have not been left to passively sit on our hands either.

Let’s be obedient to that which has been made clear to us in scripture. Let’s pursue Christ and embrace this blessed call to parent and guide students whether we are allowed to witness harvest time or not. That is, if we never see our children basking in the fullness of Christ, will we continue to seek Him? If we never see the fruit of our labor, is He still enough? Do we truly believe that He is our only hope – both for our children and ourselves? Do we pray like that? Do we live like that? (Quick confession. We don't always pray like that and live according to our beliefs. My wife and I fall short in this area quite a bit.) Fruition of faith will take time in our children, but may we not find rest in that fact alone. Instead may our impatient powerlessness press us into the One who holds all of time in His hands. May we learn to entrust our kids to His care, fully aware that He actually knows and loves them more than us. This is far beyond enjoyably frustrating. This is comfort for our longing souls.

matt@nbchurch.info     Twitter: @FattMowler     Facebook: TheFattMowler