How to Raise the Perfect Child

Bad News: In order to raise a perfect child, you first must have perfect DNA.

Good News: If parents can’t provide perfect DNA there are still ways to influence their children in the right direction. Over the next few weeks I will attempt to bring some proven experience and fresh perspective to raising children into adulthood. And, by the way, if your goal is a perfect child, both you are your children are going to be very frustrated (the Gospel of Jesus Christ specializes in imperfect people). The Gospel is where we start.

Public school? Private school? Home school? Shelter them? Trust them? Ignore them? Smother them? There are so many decisions that a parent must make that will shape their kids in ways that have consequences for their future faith and adulthood.

So, can you please tell us parents, “Which way is the right way to raise our children?” The answer is not that simple or easy. Parents are thinking:

• We don’t want to raise socially awkward nerds that have no chance at competing for credibility in the marketplace.
• We don’t want to raise childish “momma’s boys” who refuse to commit themselves to maturity and live with their parents when they’re 40+ years old.
• We don’t want to raise rebellious punks who can’t wait to bolt from smothering parents as soon as they can find any other option.
• We don’t want to raise worldly hellions whose primary faith expression is doubt, skepticism, or worse mockery.
• We don’t want to raise passive video gamers who can’t make eye-contact or relate on an intimate level with another human.
• We don’t want to raise legalistic modern Pharisees who view the rest of “lower, dirty humanity” with distain and pity to be avoided at all costs

So, tell us parents, “Which way is the right way to raise our children?” Pretty please? Pretty, pretty please? Can you tell us? Can you tell us? Again, the answer is not simple or easy.

Sheltered?

The truth is that each child is an individual with unique needs and strengths that must be parented as a unique individual. Each child has a unique design that could thrive in the right situation or dive in the wrong situation. If we can learn to identify and avoid the extremes in parenting (enmeshed smothering versus disengaged ignoring) and live out the gospel in our families, then God can guide us through the travails of raising children in a chaotic culture.

Both you and your child were created by the special act of God, in His own image. Both you and your child are the masterpiece of God’s creation. In God’s image, humanity was created innocent of sin. Humanity was also made capable by God with freedom of choice. Sadly, it was by this freedom of choice that humanity sinned against God and brought sin into the human race. Chaos was born. Parents and children have suffered the consequences of this brokenness ever since chaos was born

Both you and your child, and every other parent and child – past, present, and future, are fallen from our original innocence. The unfortunate reality of a world in chaos is that we all have inherited an environment inclined toward sin and chaos

Ignored?

• There is no private school which protects us from the sin and chaos that disrupts our families.
• There is no public school which prepares us for the sin and chaos that disrupts our families.
• There is no home school which shields us from the sin and chaos that disrupts our families.
• There is no age graded program, ministry, or church leader which adequately guard us from the sin and chaos that disrupts our families.
• There is no parenting technique which defends us from the sin and chaos that disrupts our families

Only the grace of God, through the Good News (Gospel) of Jesus Christ, can return parents and children to God’s original design, into fellowship with God, and to achieve the purposes of God in their families.

Only through the Gospel of Jesus Christ can families understand that God created them in His own image. Because Jesus died for us we possesses dignity and are worthy of respect and Christian love. “This way is the right way to raise our children!”

Gen. 1:26-30; 2:5, 7, 18-22; 3; 9:6; Psalm 1:1-6; 8:3-6; 32:1-5; 51:5; Isa. 6:5; Jer. 17:5; Matt. 16:26; Acts 17:26- 31; Rom. 1:19-32; 3:10-18, 23; 5:6, 12, 19; 6:6; 7:14-25; 8:14-18, 29; 1 Cor. 1:21-31; 15:19, 21-22; Eph. 2:1-22; Col. 1:21-22; 3:9-11

Dr. Phil Sallee, Pastor
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