What's Essential For You?

What Are Your Essentials? 

Literally 120 days ago we sold our house we had lived in for the past six years and moved into a rental house in Tahlequah. And 30 days ago we moved from that rental house in Tahlequah to a house in Bixby. It’s amazing to see God’s provision in the middle of huge transitions. 

We didn’t know how the boys would handle the initial news that we would be moving, so we wanted to add the exciting news that God would be taking us to new exciting places. When we told them we were selling our house and that another family would be moving in to our house, their first question was, “Do we get to take some of our stuff with us when we leave?” Of course, we said “yes,” and they started jumping up and down with excitement and then ran into their room. I’ve sometimes entertained the thought of what type of mutiny would have occurred if I would have said “no.” They came out of their room seconds later with these “essentials” that they could not live without. Don't ask me why these things made the list. {Here's the pic of their "essentials."}
For little Sank...soccer ball and a very concerning eye for what the other two are bringing. For Little Mexico...a Sooner's pillow and safari hat--who doesn't need those two things? And for Owie...stuffed animal, blanket, transformer, and of course, an Incredible Hulk punching fist! Just the necessities.

What are the essentials that your family cannot live without? 

Jeffrey is in scouts. Samantha goes to soccer. Alex plays baseball. Erin plays softball. Greg is on the swim team. Laura’s school is bilingual. Jake has classical guitar lessons. Tara is in gifted classes. Trevor made the football team. Henry plays the trumpet in the band.1
And that’s just the kids in second grade. 

There’s this quiet anxiousness growing in the back of most parent’s minds, “Will life slow down once the kids get older so we’ll be able to be more intentional with the things that really matter in life?” Again, the question, what are the essentials that your family cannot live without? (And does your answer fit only for this life or does it have eternal significance?)
Many parents struggle with concerns and comparisons on whether they are providing their children with all the opportunities and activities that other parents provide for their children. It can be a trap that spirals out of control. Add to it that most families think that their own family’s current “balance of busyness” is better than the other families around them. We judge other families for doing too much and believe ours is just right. Enter more self-righteousness and pride onto an overloaded family schedule that is consistently marginalizing Christ. And somehow that’s become the norm? 

What if...five seconds on the other side of this life we got to see that what we were really spending our time on was very temporal and let’s say, “a vapor?” (Jam. 4:14) Five seconds into eternity...What would you say the essentials were that your children needed to have placed in front of them as the true lasting values and treasures of this life? (Check out Deut. 6)
What if...it wasn’t the MTV’s and Miley Cyrus’s and twerking and tweeting and internet hazards and violent video games and suggestive song lyrics that were the real danger for our children? 
What if the real danger was our own marginalizing of Christ in our homes? They are either learning to navigate well through cultural distractions and temptations or they are not learning to navigate very well through those things. Our job as parents is not merely to label those things as evils they should avoid, but to help them learn to evaluate and think through the heart desires for those things in relation to treasuring and obeying Christ. 
As they grow into adulthood those hazards will only change from the former list to gas prices, job opportunities, political leadership, materialism, the crisis in another majority-world country, and other natural disasters. The answer for all is an all-consuming Jesus Christ!
What if the real danger was our lack of providing them with an exampled lifestyle where Jesus Christ is the centerpiece of our lives on Monday through Saturday as well as on Sunday mornings? 

The Point: We are revealing to our children what matters most to us as parents. We are pointing and influencing our children to live for certain things. The question for us is what are we pointing them to pursue in life? And if we’re not careful, instead of an awe-inspiring, high and exalted, captivating view of Jesus Christ--we are pointing them to self-oriented successes, pride-provoking comparisons with peers, and an allurement and fascination with temporal pleasures that are far from eternal significance. 
We would say that loving God and making Him known is “essential,” but does our lifestyle reveal that to our kids? 

The answer for our problem does not mean that you create a community of isolation where your kids never do anything, but instead, what if we actually made Christ the center of our families going out and engaging with others in the bleachers and ball fields and scout troops and schools and skating rinks and birthday parties? What if our children saw Christ as included and essential in all avenues of life? 

So, what is it you really desire for your children to learn from you? 
What are your children learning are the most important treasures in life from you? 
What are the “essentials” for your children and your family? 
Do you have a plan in place for your children’s spiritual development? 

We are taking steps at New Beginnings at helping to train and equip all of our people to have homes and families (the church) where Christ truly reigns in all areas of life. It will be a slow process, but He is so worthy of the time and discipline it takes. Join us in the journey!

by Sankie P. Lynch

¹ Ed Moll & Tim Chester, Gospel-Centered Family (The Good Book Company, UK 2009) 17.