"Students who don't fit the mold"

The blog below is from Tim Elmore's blog this past week, dated Tuesday, August 20th, titled "Generation IY Students who don't fit the mold". It made me ponder on how positive or negative I have been with my own young adult and adult children.I have been informed recently by at least one of them, that I can have a tendency to over-protect, or offer unsolicited advice that has had a negative impact on them feeling that I trust them or am confident in their decision-making. I have realized as a parent that it's hard to let go sometimes.But also that it's just as important to praise them in an appropriate amount, without giving undo praise for not much effort. Seems pretty complicated at times to know exactly when to be giving constructive criticism that is intended to help and when to step back and allow for them to find their own way, as well as, an appropriate amount of praise that is not considered over the top and undeserved.

The bottom line for me is to continue to pray for my children and pray for my own wisdom and discernment to say what needs to be said at the right time and place.The student, Karen's perspective, in Tim's blog below gave me a different look at how a student may see things from their side, especially when they are working hard and trying to do the right thing.I thought Tim's response to Karen was very encouraging.

"Generation IY Students who don't fit the mold"
I received an inquiry a few weeks ago from Karen, a student who read my blog. She made an interesting request:

“I was wondering if it would be of interest to look into the effects of typical Gen iY and their over-indulgent parents on other Gen iY persons and parents who may not fit this mold.”

“For example, I find myself quite bitter about others my age. I feel that I work hard, I play by the rules, yet I am never praised or given freedom/trust from my parents. As a result, I find that I am extremely jealous and somewhat depressed. I always see others doing supposedly “worse” than me and reaping many rewards, and can’t help but feel entitled to at least some reward.”
“Perhaps I am not the only one who shares this view and maybe others do to. This may be an interesting side of Gen iY you may be interested in looking into.”

Karen—you bring up a great point. Count me in.
As I speak at student events, I meet “exceptions to the rule” almost everywhere. They are young adults who break the mold and don’t fit into the typical stereotype, as an entitled slacker with low emotional intelligence. (Pardon my bluntness, but so many articles I read these days are totally down on teens and twenty-somethings.)
Karen is an example of an uncommon student who sees the apparent pay-off for so many kids who get praised for the smallest of effort, somehow pass a grade in school even if they read at a fourth grade level, and who have an adult swoop in and save them whenever they fail. Indeed, it is enough to make a student with a good work ethic jealous.

Karen—allow me to speak very personally to you in this situation:
1. When you feel jealous, think long term. In the long run, students like you who do work hard and play by the rules will be in such better shape than entitled kids who have no work ethic. You’ll be ready for adulthood. In the end, we reap what we sow.
2. Count your blessings. I know this sounds old fashioned, but when you hate your life, reflect on all the good you’ve received or even earned. Things could always be worse and your happiness will expand as you focus on the good, not the bad.
3. Find someone—a friend, a mentor, a boss, a teacher or a leader—whom you can meet with and receive positive feedback. We all need encouragement, and if you can't get a little of that at home, you must find it elsewhere. Keep your emotional tank full.