NBFamilies: A Change of Plans

Earlier in this week of Spring Break, Monica and I took our youngest son, Kenny and our nephew Kolby, on a short trip to St. Louis for a little getaway. This was a perfect time to do that since they both had a couple of days off from their high school baseball schedule. We had the whole 2 days of events planned out. Unfortunately, one of those planned events we did not get to do because of a mistake we (the parents) made in the scheduling process. What happened in response to that mistake is what made the experience worth talking about in this blog.

Both boys were very excited about going on the trip, as were we, so when we found out we were not going to get to do this one particular scheduled event, it was disappointing to all of us, but even more so for the boys.The question now was, how were they going to handle the disappointment?

I can imagine that if it was me at age 15, I would have probably made my mom and dad feel miserable for next 24 hours or until I was done punishing them for over promising and under delivering. And if you asked my mother or father right now how I would have handled it, they probably would agree with my explanation as well.I can also tell you at that time of my life, I was not a born again Christian, my dad was an alcoholic and my parents were divorced. I had a pretty large chip on my shoulder from all of that and when more disappointment came my way in my life, especially when it was at the fault of one of my parents, I wasn't going to let them getaway with causing any more pain without inflicting some myself (just being transparent here).

Now you are probably curious as to how Kenny and Kolby handled their disappointment.They both showed their disappointment right away in their facial expression, body language and commenting on it being a "bummer" that they weren't going to get that experience on this trip. But over the next hour, I watched both boys notice the grief and disappointment in Monica. I listened to their words in how they comforted her, how they made feel like it was going to be OK, how they forgave us for the mistake we made and then they moved on. They didn't bring it up every hour to remind us how disappointed they were, they didn't have a negative attitude about our "Plan B" ideas, they just moved on and enjoyed the rest of the trip. They were very appreciative, loving and thankful.

So what is the big deal about that? First, it shows their ability and willingness to forgive us when we had unintentionally broken a promise. Second, it shows their heart was softened to care more about their mom and aunt and her feelings than their own desires and disappointment. Third, they didn't carry a grudge or bitterness over the next hours or days. They forgave us, they cared about others feelings, they were thoughtful and thankful. Monica and I could not be more proud and blessed by the response of our son and nephew to a disappointment in which they had no control.

Life is like that some times, isn't it? There will be times when Plan A changes: some times it is your fault, some times it is the fault of someone else and some times it is no one's fault, like the death of a loved one, a tornado, an ice storm or a hurricane.The question is: how will we handle it? What is our attitude, our response and what is it inside of us that causes us to react one way or another? It's the presence (or the quenching or total absence) of the Holy Spirit in our heart.

In the book of John 14:25-27, Jesus says, ²⁵“I have spoken these things to you while I remain with you. ²⁶But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit—the Father will send Him in My name—will teach you all things and remind you of everything I have told you.²⁷Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Your heart must not be troubled or fearful."

Romans 5:5 ^"This hope will not disappoint us,because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

Colossians 3:12-15 ¹²Therefore, God’s chosen ones, holy and loved,put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility,gentleness, and patience, ¹³accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. ¹⁴Above all, put on love—the perfect bond of unity. ¹⁵And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also calledin one body, control your hearts. Be thankful.

Proverbs 27:19 says "As water reflects the face, so the heart reflects the person."

What is your heart reflecting?