Leaving a Legacy: Molly Fox Gregory

Today I will preach the funeral service for one of my aunts – Molly Gregory. I wanted to print my sermon for two reasons: first, I wanted to do something memory of her and, secondly, I wanted her life and the Gospel to inspire you.

We turn to the bible to find hope and comfort in times like these. In the passage I am going to read first, the Apostle Paul was writing to a young pastor named Timothy. Paul was facing death, and in this letter he summed up his life and spoke of what was next.

2 Timothy 6:6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time for my departure is close.

The word "departure" is a word with many meanings in the bible.

Paul is using it to describe his own death.

It was a term that sailors used when their ship would set sail and set out.

It was a term that soldiers used when they would fold up their tent and move on according to their commander’s orders.

It was a term that political leaders would use for the setting a prisoner free.

It was a term that farmer would use when they would take the yoke from off the oxen, when he would lay aside their burden. So,

• Like a ship, Molly has sailed into another port.
• Like a soldier, Molly has folded her tent.
• Like a prisoner, Molly has been set free.
• And like a beast of burden, Molly has laid her burden down.

What is next for Molly?

2 Timothy 6:7-8 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 There is reserved for me in the future the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on that day, and not only to me, but to all those who have loved His appearing.

• Molly fought the good fight,
• Molly finished the race,
• Molly kept the faith,
• Molly longed for, looked for, and loved the coming appearing of Jesus.
• AND NOW, I believe Molly is receiving her crown of righteousness, as was given to her by the Righteous Judge, the Lord Jesus Christ!

The 2nd passage I want to read to you is Philippians 1:20-24. When the Apostle Paul originally wrote this letter to the church in the town of Phillipi, the circumstances of his life were tough. He was in prison. Paul was a prisoner, chained to a Roman Guard and yet almost this entire letter it sounds like a pep rally. A form of the word "joy or rejoicing" is found 15 times in the 104 verses of this short 4 chapter letter.

Paul is telling us, in this letter, what Molly showed us. Our faith experience is meant to honor the life and purpose of Jesus Christ. Jesus is to be working in our lives, whatever our circumstances might be.

Molly lived the last 6 months of her life a prisoner in a sickly body, she was in pain a lot of the time and she was unconscious a lot of the time. Yet she seemed to show joy whenever someone would come for a visit.

Listen to these words…

Philippians 1:20-24 My eager expectation and hope is that I will not be ashamed about anything, but that now as always, with all boldness, Christ will be highly honored in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For me, living is Christ and dying is gain. 22 Now if I live on in the flesh, this means fruitful work for me; and I don’t know which one I should choose. 23 I am pressured by both. I have the desire to depart and be with Christ—which is far better— 24 but to remain in the flesh is more necessary for you.

I just want to spend a few minutes today looking verse 21: “For me, living is Christ and dying is gain”

You see Paul understood and I think that Molly also understood, God fulfilled His purpose for the world through Jesus. God fulfills His purpose for us through Jesus. God has a purpose for our lives – for His glory. “Living is Christ!”

• For Paul, life was not about getting or doing things to acquire happiness, Life was not about finding joy in circumstances.
• For Paul, life was about pointing others to God- living for God’s glory. Life was all about Jesus. It was about giving God the glory for everything.
  • For good times, because they are a blessing.
  • For hard times, too, because God uses them to make him stronger.
  • God has a purpose for each of us. We are not drifting on a rubber raft in the ocean. We are not wandering in the dark. We are created in Christ Jesus for good works, which has God prepared for us. “Living is Christ!”

God has a purpose for each of us, and Molly seemed to tap into that purpose.

• Because Molly knew Jesus and followed His example, she was one the most generous people I have ever known.
• When she retired from being a public school principle.
• She helped others through her leadership.
• She helped others through teaching school,
• She helped others in her family: (in fact she spoiled many of us – Progress report) by being a good wife, a good mother, helping her sisters.

And, just as God has a purpose for life – that is, for His glory – God has a purpose for death – for our gain.

For the Christian, death is gain. For Molly, leaving behind this old world and trading it for a new one was a serious upgrade. In heaven we gain so many things. What do we gain?

1. We gain a better body – a glorified, immortal, resurrected body.

   In this present body we’re subject to all the sorrows and tears that life deals out. (Cerebral palsy, Back pain, Fibromyalgia, M.S., Parkison’s disease, Dementia, Kidney Disease and eventually failure) Old age, sickness, and finally death are the inevitable. But in death and the resurrection we gain a better body, one that can never grow old, know disease, suffer pain, and can never die. In heaven there are no prescriptions, no canes, walkers, or wheel chairs, no doctors, nurses or hospice, to disability parking spots, hospitals or nursing homes. We gain a better body.

2. We gain a better home.

   However beautiful your earthly house maybe, it is nothing compared with our mansion in heaven.

   Look at the promise of Jesus

   John 14:1-3 “Your heart must not be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in Me. 2 In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if not, I would have told you. I am going away to prepare a place for you. 3 If I go away and prepare a place for you, I will come back and receive you to Myself, so that where I am you may be also.

   Jesus promised that He would prepare our heavenly home. WE will live in His presence forever.

3. We gain a better inheritance.

   Our final reward is not here – it is in Heaven. Living for God on earth for His glory has its advantages - purpose, meaning, hope, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self control – to name a few.

   But the full value of “the future the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give us” will be ours for eternity.

4. We gain a better fellowship with Jesus.

The Christian life on earth was one of faith, believing before seeing. But heaven works different from that. We will see the Lord face to face.

“What a day that will be, when my Jesus I shall see, when I look upon His face, the One who saved me by His grace. When He takes me by the hand, and leads me through the promised land, what a day, glorious day, that will be.”

• As God had a purpose for Jesus, God has a purpose for our lives right now God’s purpose is His glory.
• As God had a purpose for Jesus’ death, God has a purpose for our deaths Dying is gain.
• Saved by God’s grace, following the example of Jesus, Molly lived for God on earth, and she is experiencing His glory in her death.

I will never forget what Molly said to me as we sat outside of the rehabilitation center in Broken Arrow. She said four times in our brief visit. “Lets go home.”

The Apostle Paul had a vision of heaven. He wrote down this vision in his letter, “The Revelation.”

Revelation 21:3-4 Then I heard a loud voice from the throne: Look! God’s dwelling is with humanity, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. 4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will no longer exist; grief, crying, and pain will exist no longer, …

Revelation 21:22-23 I did not see a sanctuary in it, because the Lord God the Almighty and the Lamb are its sanctuary. 23 The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, because God’s glory illuminates it, and its lamp is the Lamb.

Molly has gone home. To God be the Glory!

Dr. Phil Sallee, Pastor
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It's The Activity on the Inside That Counts

<sup>We are closing in on the last days of building a new house. It's been a 3 year process, which began with making a decision over whether to remodel our existing home, buy a currently built home or build a new home. In the process, we probably looked at the outside of over one hundred homes or more in various neighborhoods, in varying price ranges. We probably looked at the inside of a third of those we looked at the outside. Why is it that the bigger the home, the nicer it seems to be? Outside and Inside. But looks can be deceiving. In every house we looked at, we could find faults. No matter what the price range. No matter what type of location. Both inside and outside, we could find something we didn't like. 

So, we decided to build from scratch. We found a location that we thought was the best fit for us at this point in our lives. We made the plans the way we wanted to make them and have made all of the necessary decisions along the way. Now the house is almost complete and guess what? We can still find things we wish were different, both inside and out. In fact, you may drive by it and look at the outside or come in and look at the inside and you will find as many or more faults than we do. Guess what? I got news for you. It doesn't matter. There is not a perfect house this side of heaven, inside or outside. It doesn't matter whether your house is small or big, brand new or old, breaking down or newly built, you or your spouse or someone else will find faults or things they would want to change about it. But none of that really matters in the big picture. What matters most is what is "going on", the activity, inside the house that counts. It's never what it "looks like" on the inside or "looks like" on the outside that matters most. We tend to make judgements by what we "see" on the outside.

We fully intend to use our new home to make an impact with people for Christ. Could we have done that in the old house? Yes and we did. Can we do that in a new house? Yes and we will. But the majority of people who drive by and look at the outside, and give their judgement or critique, will never know the "activity" of what is being done on the inside, but God will. And He is the only One we will need to answer to for that. We won't be taking that house or anything in it to the judgement seat. We will, however, be taking with us the "impact" of those experiences on the inside and outside of that house.

What activities, what actions, are taking place in your home? What kind of impact are you making on your spouse, your family, your friends, your neighbors, for Christ and His mission? "Each ones work will become obvious."

9</sup> For we are God’s coworkers. You are God’s field, God’s building. ¹⁰ According to God’s grace that was given to me, I have laid a foundation as a skilled master builder, and another builds on it. But each one must be careful how he builds on it. ¹¹ For no one can lay any other foundation than what has been laid down. That foundation is Jesus Christ. ¹² If anyone builds on that foundation with gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay, or straw, ¹³ each one’s work will become obvious, for the day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire; the fire will test the quality of each one’s work. ¹⁴ If anyone’s work that he has built survives, he will receive a reward. ¹⁵ If anyone’s work is burned up, it will be lost, but he will be saved; yet it will be like an escape through fire. 
1 Corinthians 3:9-15

Right Where I Need to Be (Part II)

I’m thankful for Memorial Day. I’m grateful for the opportunity we have to pause and remember those who gave their lives for the very peace and freedom we enjoy today. I’m also appreciative of those that currently serve, for they willingly surrender their comfort and holiday leisure so that our families can rest in safety. While I am thankful for what this day means, I must honestly admit that I’m also just grateful for the day off. I look forward to such days on the calendar – days where we can simply relax at home.

In my April 27^th blog I talked about being “right where I needed to be.” However, in that piece I also explained that such awareness of being in the right spot at the right time has only come from the unfortunate realization that so many times I’m not. Today I will be continuing with the same theme but looking at it from a different angle. Hopefully, I can explain how these last few days had my wife and I right where we needed to be.

My wife and I spent the last 4 days in Breckenridge, Colorado, one of our favorite places in the whole world. We did some shopping, some sleeping, some sightseeing, and a lot of resting (and yes, that’s different from simply sleeping). We had a wonderful time! But truthfully, our little getaway was way overdue. In fact, when we booked our trip months ago, we were ready to call for a timeout right then, but there was nowhere to fit in a break at the time.

As I’ve written before, sometimes our schedule needs to be more fluid than we allow. We must be okay with tardiness and cancelations, longer meetings and unplanned gatherings, for the Lord often orchestrates such beautiful adjustments to our plans. The reason we sometimes miss those opportunities to be obediently present is because we feel pressures – occasionally from the external expectations of others, other times because of internal pressures of how we want to be perceived. But shouldn’t we be able to do the right thing without worrying about how it might be seen?

As a pastor that serves in high school ministry I must say that spring and early summer are not ideal times for getting away. As a parent of three kiddos that currently are in their baseball and soccer seasons, I can easily say that it is an even more cluttered calendar that what I have professionally. Our children have games pretty much every weekend, and our high school summer camp is less than a week away as I type this. Because of that, many might suggest that our timing was poor, for look at all that needs to be done. And that’s precisely my point.

Take the specifics out of our story and consider your own rhythm for a moment. When is it good to get away? When is it financially ideal to spend time and money to be gone? Isn’t there always something? Lord willing, the floodwaters will dissipate and our children will have more ball games in the not-so-distant future. Hopefully, we have worked hard enough on camp stuff to do a week of intentional ministry well. But if not, it will be okay. It will all be alright. I’m not a big enough deal to thwart the plans of the Lord. There is nothing at work so important that it deserves all my free time. There is nothing that can only be done by me. I know that. Even if you’ve never met me, you know that. But don’t we often live contrary to this truth that we realize about ourselves? Don’t we sometimes live like the world will stop spinning if we take a break?

Ok…maybe it’s just me. Anyway, this is my point. I needed to hit the reset button. I needed to reconnect with my wife. It was good for my wife and I to be able to spend some undistracted days together in conversation without any time constraints. We needed to together repent of our busyness. We needed to invest in our individual walks of faith, as well as our marriage, for when we are right with God and each other, we parent better, we serve in His strength, and we are more focused on glorifying Him in the day-to-day activities of life.

This writing is not to justify our trip, for I have only One to answer to concerning that. This blog is not typed out to speak of “oh how busy we are,” for all of us are. Busyness is no badge of honor but something to be pitied, especially when it distracts us from daily seeking our Savior. No, I write this to ask you whether or not you feel a similar tension in your spirit? Do you long to be more purposeful in life yet struggle to know where to start? Do you sense that you are indispensible at work or that a more moderate pace would somehow be devastating? Is your job worth all your energy and effort? Does your family deserve more than your leftovers? More importantly, are you called to give them more than the depleted battery version of yourself? Is there any time for your friends? Have you any margin for others outside of your tight-knit circle?

I’m not at a breaking point nor am I questioning my call to the gospel ministry. I’m not in a bad place at all. I’ve just been convicted about how I’ve neglected my first priorities as a husband and father. Wouldn’t it be horrible for me to be seen as this great guy by most everyone at the church and as an absentee, grumpy, short-tempered, dude at home? I don’t think that’s where I am. Lord willing, that will never be our story. But I know this: without God graciously allowing us to evaluate where we are, without Him mercifully sustaining us, without His providential hand of guidance, I could easily be drawn astray. As the old hymn states, “prone to wander, Lord I feel it.”

My prayer is that whether at home or work, fulfilling our schedule or deviating from the original plans, that we’d be found faithfully, obediently doing His will, right where we need to be. Well, I’ve spent long enough on this topic for my day off, so I’m gonna return to my family now. Be encouraged and enjoy the rest of this Memorial Day!

Matt Fowler
Assoc. Pastor of Missions & Students
matt@nbchurch.info
@fattmowler

10 Proven Ways to Disciple Your Children

The authority behind these 10 things is the Hebrew Shema. The Shema is the oldest fixed daily prayer in Judaism. It has been recited morning and night in faithful Jewish homes since ancient times. The Shema has been a significant part of traditional Jewish prayer books.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 “Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is One. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. 7 Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

But is important to understand that if we repeat a memorized phrase without engaging our minds and actions, then the phrase can develop into a tired, meaningless routine. This is not how to make disciples of adults or children. There mustn’t be anything tired and meaningless about our faith in God. In fact, our faith must be daring, courageous, and contagious. This is the spirit that we must embrace when considering effective ways to disciple our children. Ground central in the Shema is the home. The home is where faith is discussed, demonstrated and experienced.

Inside the "Tefillin" are handwritten
 parchments with Biblical texts

1. These words… are to be in your heart - This first thing is perhaps the most important thing to do of all 10 things. Before you can disciple your kids, you must first be a disciple yourself. At New Beginnings Church we define a disciples lie this: A disciple of Jesus is someone who is following Jesus, is being transformed by Jesus, and is dedicated to the mission of Jesus: obediently making disciples of Jesus. Your kids learn discernment. They can spot a phony from a mile away. If they experience hypocrisy from their parents or if they watch their parent demonstrate a split personality (holy church persona vs. hellish home persona), then they are being discipled to become spiritually schizophrenic hypocrites themselves. Discipleship is more caught than taught. Kids can’t hear their parents words if their actions are screaming something else. If you stumble (and you will stumble) your kids will experience the gospel if you will – authentically and transparently – apologize, ask forgiveness, and repent from involvement in that area of stumbling. There is no better way to teach them than to show them. Our kids need to see us struggle, mess up, yet reply with gospel centered reconciliation. Our responses to one another, must be Christ-like, God focused, and gospel centered! • Mistakes are made, • Grace is offered, • Forgiveness is experienced, • Repentance causes change, and • Mercy is enjoyed! The gospel response is always the best response and this is how our kid’s faith will be best influenced.
2. Repeat them to your children - There should be regular, intentional conversations about all kinds of matters of faith in your home. There are countless ways to do this - share bible stories, tell life stories where the presence and power of God was experienced, ask about what happened at church, share your concerns about what is happening (during reality TV shows, during the news, when media values contrary to the scripture is expressed on tall forms of media, inappropriate jokes, etc.). Take time to be heard and to listen to your family. Repeat, say it again, reiterate, go over it another time, recap! Just don’t stay quiet, uninvolved, and disconnected to the things of God and His Word.
3. Talk about them when you sit in your house - Last week I wrote about family dinner time. Planned and intentional discussions with your kids about spiritual things are essential to making disciples. Deuteronomy 6:7 remind parent that when their children “lie down and get up,” are prime times for having spiritual discussions. 
4. Talk about them when you walk along the road- Admittedly, families don’t do as much walking as did families before there were automobiles and highways. However, transportation time is prime time for having Faith Talks and Faith Walks. Sadly, transportation time can also be a time for arguing, lecturing, and ignoring one another. But this time in the car can be redeemed for the gospel. We did a lot of singing with our kids. My wife is an expert at asking  questions. The solution is to not allow this precious transportation time opportunity to escape. As soon as your kids are old enough to drive, the days of the family car ride are rare. 
5. Talk about them when you lie down- I have cherished the times when I prayed with my kids before bed. That is when we taught them to pray. Bed time is when we prayed - out loud - together.
6. Talk about them when you get up- Mornings can be hectic. Some kids (and parents for that matter) are not “morning people.” But this is the best time to prepare for the day. A habit of “starting off the day” with prayer or a quiet time can be modeled in the morning. How would your day have changed if you and your family would have been awakened by gentle praise music this morning?
7. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead - Orthodox Jews observe this command literally. “Tefillin” are two black leather boxes and straps to hold them on. One is worn on the biceps, and its strap, which is tied with a special knot, is wound by the wearer seven times around the forearm and hand. The second box is worn on the forehead at the hairline, with its straps going around the back of the head, connected at the top of the neck with a special knot, and hanging in front on each side. But I think this phrase should remind us to have the scripture displayed in places that are regularly seen and visited (refrigerator door, bathroom mirror, notes in a lunch box or backpack, etc.). This phrase can also symbolize the concept that the Word of God should be on your mind/thoughts and close to your hands/actions.
8. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates - Are there places where you can display important bible passages or words of encouragement that your entire family will see when they are going out or coming home? Perhaps you could make a note on back door to the garage, or on the out side of the door for your family to read and be encouraged.

Click on the picture to read
 this father's encouraging note.

.
Maybe the task of changing these messages could be share between all family members. This phrase can also symbolize the concept that the Word of God should be with you when you leave the safety of home and there for you at home to remind you of your blessings.

Making disciples in your family is not rocket science. It is happening accidently every day. However, some parents are making lazy, disinterested disciples. Other parents are unintentionally making hypocritical, fake disciples. We must be intentional to make vibrant, growing disciples in the home.

Dr. Phil Sallee, Pastor
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Faith: The Proof of What is Not Seen

Last week I had a medical procedure that required me to be "put to sleep" by an anesthesiologist.

It was early in the morning. After filling out some initial paperwork, a nurse asked me to come from the waiting room to get prepped so they could begin the process. She had to ask some additional questions, and fill out more paperwork, like my full name, birth date, (even though I just filled out some paperwork with the same questions!) what procedures they were going to perform, etc. and have me sign another two forms before they begin. I know why they are asking me all of these questions. They are making sure that I am who I am and that I am in total agreement with allowing them to do what they are going to do, so that in case of any mistakes or unforeseen occurrences, I won't file a law suit or my family won't file a law suit, IF I don't wake up.

Being a risk-manager, this is somewhat comforting and yet not-so-comforting, as I signed my life away to people I have never met before. Comforting, because I can see they are doing their due diligence to make sure they have covered all of the details. Not-so-comforting, because they MIGHT actually make a mistake!

Yet, here I was allowing some guy(the anesthesiologist) to put an IV in me, that has some kind of drug in the IV bag, that I have no clue what it will do to my body, that is supposedly going to put me to sleep, so that the doctor can then perform this procedure, and then supposedly the doctor knows what he is doing, because he as supposedly gone to some accredited school to learn how to do this stuff. So then supposedly, I am suppose to fall "asleep" during this process, so that I supposedly won't feel a thing, and then supposedly I am suppose to wake up, not knowing anything of what just happened to me and supposedly then get dressed and have my wife drive me home, supposedly with no side affects or contracting any harmful bacteria through the entire process.

Now you would think that during this process, a guy who is a risk manager, just might be getting a little nervous. Here are just a few things that I could be thinking prior to the procedure while filling out the paperwork: What if that needle he just put in my arm wasn't clean? What if that IV bag has the wrong drug in it? What if those tools used in the procedure have not been sterilized? What if that oxygen tube they just stuck up my nose had the Ebola virus on it? What if something goes wrong with my heart when they put me to sleep and I don't wake up?

But, I was totally calm, didn't think much about anything really. I let them pretty much treat me like a rag doll and everything went exactly like they told me it would. After the whole process was over and I was back at home, I started thinking about how much faith I had placed in everyone involved. I had faith they all knew what they were doing. I had faith that what they told me was going to happen, would in fact, happen that way.

So, why is it easier to have faith in people you have never met before, and have so little faith in a God who created you? A God who created the universe and everything in it? A God who created those people whom you just placed your life in their hands? Seems a little backward doesn't it? Maybe my faith should begin with the creator of the universe first? Since He created the people whom I am so willing to have faith in.

I'm thankful for my faith in God. I am thankful for my faith that no matter what happened that day, God was in control. I was in His hands. He created me. I know Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I know my wife and family would be taken care of because they KNOW Jesus as their Lord and Savior and I will see them all again one day, IF, I didn't wake up.

How is your faith? Who or what do you place more faith in than God?

"Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen." Hebrews 11:1

Mother's Day Absentees

{ A Tribute to Mom—Nell Lynch }

My mother was absent this Mother’s Day. 

Mother’s Day was the first in 42 years that I didn’t have my mother present with us. I am no victim in that. There are many, many more people who have never had a mother around for any Mother’s Day. There are many people with mother’s who, even though present, were not really qualified as good mothers. Some people have mothers who are abusive in different ways. So, my life has been filled with grace to have the mother I had for the past 42 years. 

Thankfully, God graced my life with a mother who taught me many things about life, about Him, and about raising my own family. 

My mom was not perfect. She came from a tough background where she had to leave school after 8th grade to go to work in a chair factory to help her own mother and brother to have enough to live. She always had an insecurity attached to not completing high school. But she learned early how to work hard in order to provide and support your family. 

In those days, many people married before turning eighteen, as was the case with my mom. She actually married at fifteen and had three little girls by the age of nineteen. I don’t even know how people did that! But they loved those three little girls (my sisters if you’re not following closely). 

She and my dad had some problems early on in their twenties as many people do when you’re trying to parent three babies when you’re still trying to figure out life as well. They had their fair share of problems and difficulties. But they made it through together and I came as a surprise twelve years after the last daughter was born. 

Mom and dad were both extremely hard workers. I remember being in high school and like most teens, always wanting to sleep in, but mom was usually up around 4:30 am starting chores or housework or laundry or something. She loved going in to work early so she could be off early. 

She spent the last part of her life working at Wal-mart for over 26 years. She was so proud of her years of service at Wal-mart. She took pride in her work and her departments. She was asked to move into management a few times, but considered her time with family more significant than the extra money it would have meant. She loved her co-workers and had so much fun with so many of them over those years. They were a huge part of her life. She probably wasn’t the easiest person to work around if you were lazy or slow. She had high expectations for hard work. I remember coming home after working with coach Rogers mowing and weed-eating all day long—and when she saw me drive up she would try to catch me to help her do some grueling work in our own yard. 

       I learned later that serving alongside her in any capacity was one of the ways she felt most loved and appreciated. It didn’t matter whether it was yardwork, housework, laundry, cooking, baking, flower beds, or whatever—if you would join her in the work it made her so happy. That’s just the way she was wired. 

The last fifteen years, after my dad passed away, there were times of loneliness, grieving, and some normal light depressed times to be expected after losing a spouse. 

But for the last eight years, mom had been staying about two nights and three days each week with us since the boys were born. This really gave her something significant to look forward to and  something to keep her busy. It was a great help to us in many ways also. 

We’ve had many people tell Jamie that they can’t imagine having their mother-in-law in their house even one entire day each month—much less three days a week! But Jamie and my mom had a good relationship to where that was possible. I am truly thankful for a wife who shared her home, kitchen, living room, and life with my mom—which again is not the easiest thing to do! And I’m truly thankful that mom was respectful enough of our family that she wasn’t too pushy and was always concerned about interfering with our family and our lifestyle of having lots of people over. She was never a burden. 

       She was always trying to help take stuff off of our plate at the house. She would take one or two boys home with her over the weekend or take them to the lake camping for a few days. She was continuously doing laundry for us and helping with the dishes. She would even pull dishes out of the dishwasher to wash them by hand (that’s the craziness I lived in!). 

She would take the boys shopping or take them out for ice cream. She loved reading to the boys at night. Around the dinner table we usually either talk about some lesson they’ve learned about themselves or about God or we would play little games to interact with each other. Mom loved our “highs & lows” game where each person had to tell their high from the day and their low of the day. She loved hearing the laughable stories that would come out in those highs and lows. She would also always use it as a time to point out that her high had to do with doing something with one of them. Their faces would light up when she mentioned them in her high for the day. 

Her favorite things were to have them at her house or to have them with her camping at the lake. She would spend hours letting them work with her in the garden when she could have had an easier and faster experience without having them involved. But she enjoyed spending the time with them and wanted to teach them to work hard no matter what they did. 

Many people told us that those little boys kept her going these last few years. Even after she was diagnosed, she immediately wanted to move in with us permanently to be around them and to start the process of treatments. Even in these last few months, we would wake to find her with one, two, or even three boys in bed with her. 

       The truth is that mom would wake early in the mornings and spend those next minutes, as she put it, “with my God and my coffee.” She said that God was what had sustained her in the months and years after my dad passed away. She had been brought low and learned there was only One who could handle her difficulties and fears. 

She stated many times over the last few years that she still got her strength from her time with God in those mornings. I think that may have played out most clearly in the way she handled the news and ongoing months after being diagnosed with cancer. 

I thought she was going to be overwhelmed emotionally. I thought she was going to have many fears or concerns. But she never did. She was solid from the first time the Doctor mentioned cancer, through the treatments, and on through those last weeks and days. 

This was mom's last trip to the lake with us just before Spring.
It was a beautiful day and she felt great. She sat and watched
the boys play in her favorite setting on this side of heaven. 

You see, there is something deeply mysterious about God’s presence in prayer and in His word. It’s easy to read the words of Psalm 23 on a card at a funeral—but God’s intent was not merely to comfort the ones reading that Psalm at a loved ones funeral—but there is an actual reality and experience of this truth as a person goes through that valley under the close proximity of the shadow of death. It means that He is present in a way that solidifies the heart and emotions. He allows His truths to become more than head knowledge—but an experiential aspect. He truly guards our hearts. God actually is engaging with a person’s heart, mind, and soul. He is not giving merely mental assents to think about—He is actually present, through the power of the Holy Spirit, in a deeply mysterious way. 

In the last months with mom, I went to Psalm 34 a couple of times with her. There are some beautiful realities in these truths. 

So, although my mom was absent this Mother’s Day, we can praise the God who created her and redeemed her, for He was not absent from her death. And His death provided the hope and reality that she will rise again with a new, imperishable body that is incorruptible by sin and disease. His absence from the grave promises the hope of never being absent again from Him for all of eternity. This new blood-bought identity will see face to face the glory of the One who was present behind the scenes in her last days. 

Just a few minutes after she passed, as her body was still warm, as her body lay there on the bed with five of us gathered around her, I wanted to turn my own heart to something beyond the sting and reality of a dead mother laying before us. I placed my iPhone on her pillow and we listened to this song, “Before the Throne of God Above.” Then we went into a time of prayer in response to the song. 

Shane Barnard & Shane Everett (with Bethany Dillon-Barnard)
"Before the Throne of God Above"

One of the most beautiful areas of the song point to the reality that because of Jesus’ substitutionary death in our place, our sinful, guilty souls are “counted free” because God, who is just, looked on Jesus’ death and righteousness and pardoned us. 

That is powerful as you are standing in front of a dead loved one. 

“Because the sinless Savior died,

My sinful soul is counted free;

For God the just is satisfied

To look on Him and pardon me

To look on Him and pardon me

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Praise the One,

Risen Son of God!”

This Jesus changes everything! That is most extravagantly and breathtakingly satisfying looking at the lifeless body of your mother. 

So, as the song says, “Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Praise THE ONE, RISEN SON OF GOD!”

If not for this One Person, Jesus, death would be devastating. But this Jesus changes everything. 

Because of His sacrificial death on the cross—my moms sins and guilt were placed on Him to appease the wrath of God for her sake. Even though her sins millennia and her ability to remove them impossible.

Because of His perfect, holy life—His holiness and righteousness have been imputed to my mom. Even though she deserves it not. 

Because of His resurrection—she will be raised with a new imperishable body and mind free from sin and its effects that will last forever. 

CONCLUSION

Psalm 116:15

“Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints.” 

This was a verse that I come across as I was preparing some words for my dad’s funeral back in 1999. It was one of the most comforting Scriptures I had found. 

Think about the depth of those words. God, the One who created every atom and molecule that has ever existed—even creations we cannot fathom on this side of eternity—He considers it precious or valuable to Himself when one of His followers passes this life. 

We have a difficult time with death. We miss seeing people, spending time with them, and enjoying their presence. But death is not the end. 

Sadly, we’ve come to the place as a culture to avoid talking or thinking about God—but then at the end—once a person has passed on—it is always said, “Well, they’re in a better place now.”

As stated above, death is not the end. 

But how do we watch people’s lives who angrily, bitterly, hatefully, and rebelliously refuse to reconcile with God all through their life—and then after they’ve passed simply say, “Well, we know they are in a better place now?” That is much, much more a false comfort for the thoughts of those of us still living and not yet dead. 

Let me be clear. It is NOT “a much better place” if one has not been reconciled to God by surrendering their life to Christ crying out for His grace, mercy, and forgiveness accomplished by His death on the cross. 

See Hebrews 9:27, “It is destined for man to die once, and after that to face judgment.” 

Those who have refused God’s gospel and not having been reconciled are eternally in a place of such horror that words are insufficient to describe. 

So, there is a place of eternal torment and indescribable, unending pain for those who pass away still carrying the guilt of all their sins. They are, by nature and attitude and volition, separated by God and awaiting His wrath. That is why Jesus is so supremely and indescribably captivating—because He came to take the guilt of those sins, to take the wrath of God for those sins, even though He was perfect, holy, and innocent. 

Death is not the end. And for these people, is NOT “a better place to be.” 

On the other hand, for those who have seen what Jesus accomplished and considered it the greatest act in the universe, death is not the end for them either. 

Death is simply a necessary part of a fallen world. But the hope is in the resurrection. Our “best life” is after death. For those purchased by the blood of Christ, redeemed and reconciled to God in His grace and mercy, beyond death is the greatest place to be. 

It is to be face to face with the Author, Creator, Redeemer, and ultimately Glorifier of one’s soul. 

So death is not the end for any of us. Some believe it would be wonderful if after death those who hated and mocked God were just allowed to cease to exist. Many people have a tough time understanding how a loving God could allow some of His created beings to be placed in eternal separation from Him. That perspective forgets that His ways are not our ways. His intelligence and wisdom are not ours. That perspective also has no idea of the magnitude of difference between utter holiness and utter depravity. We have no way of seeing the beauty and glory of God’s highest holiness and righteousness in contrast with our daily list of sins. They are an affront to God. 

We tend to view it as a slight mistake or accident, as compared to someone accidentally brushing by with a mere bump of the shoulder. “Why such a big deal?” So what that I’ve made some small mistakes. But it is no small thing. It is an unfathomable distance from God’s holiness to the depth of our sinfulness. When you add the fact that there is nothing we could possibly do on our own effort to change this or reconcile us—it is overwhelming. 

Yet, while we were still currently opposed to Him and pursuing sin instead of Him—Christ died in our place. The innocent for the condemned guilty. 

Death is coming. It is no respecter of persons, positions, careers, success, age, ability, intelligence, accolades, or anything. Death is real. But death is not the end. 

For my mom, there is eternal beauty in this truth, ““Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints.” 

Death, from God’s perspective, of one of His own, is precious. 

Life is a quick vapor. Are you prepared to face God still carrying your own sins rejecting the salvation offered by God through His Son?

Are you living your life captivated by the Son of God? 

Note: I've had several texts from people fighting cancer who read this blog. 
I would strongly suggest an article by John Piper titled, "Don't Waste Your Cancer." 
It is a solid Biblical, Christ-exalting perspective on God's sovereignty over us in the middle of these types of battles. It may bring in a new perspective for some people on suffering and God's sovereignty. I went through it with my mom. I especially appreciate #5 "You will waste your cancer if you think that “beating” cancer means staying alive rather than cherishing Christ."

My mom didn't "beat" cancer. But in cherishing Christ we find someone worth treasuring more than life itself. Christ defeated sin and death with His death and resurrection. Therefore cancer and sin do not prevail.

Sankie P. Lynch
Pastor of Discipleship & Young Families
www.nbchurch.info
www.nbfamilies.info
sankie@nbchurch.info