Friday, January 23, 2015

What I Like About You?

On Fridays I have started a series that is addressing the importance of modeling gospel driven marriages.

God is the Architect of the brilliant plan to capture the hearts of the generations through His families (Malachi 4:6). God has designed the family to be the channel to pass on His plan for redemption to the next generation (Genesis 12:1-3; Psalm 78:3-8).

NBFamilies are working to discover providential opportunities where - traditional parents, single parents, grand parents, step parents, foster parents - can experience God’s life changing presence in their homes.

Let this sink in:
  • Our kid’s hearts are being shaped by observing our marriages.
  • Our kid’s faith is being influenced by observing how we treat each other as husband and wife.
  • Our kid’s faith, their ability to trust, their sense of safety and security, is either being bolstered or being destroyed every day, as they watch us.
  • Since marriage is a metaphor for God’s love for His church, (Ephesians 5:25-32) what are our kids learning as they study how we relate to one another?


NEW CONTENT

Last week we studied about the dynamic, between husband and wife, that keeps marriage is growing stronger. Successfully married couples have stumbled upon a dynamic that keeps their negative thoughts and feelings about each other from overwhelming positive thoughts and feelings about each other. In Paul’s letter to the Ephesians he demonstrates the correlation between actual worth and expressing that worth in a practical and meaningful way. Most couples actually value their marriage but they have a hard time demonstrating it..
Ephesians 5:25-28 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Ephesians 5:25-28 demonstrates the relationship between spouses. When we love, respond, respect, and honor one another properly, we instill value, love, and worth. This is how Jesus honored His bride. For this reason, Jesus' bride is forever grateful in Him. When married couples love one another like Jesus loves His bride – with grace, mercy, longsuffering, forgiveness, sacrifice, and unconditional love – then both will be forever grateful as well.

Fondness and admiration are two of the most crucial elements in a rewarding and long-lasting romance. Couples will look past their partner’s flaws if they still feel that person is worthy of honor and respect. Both spouses need clear evidence that there is some hope for their marriage. If a couple still has a means of expressing fondness and admiration system, their marriage can be salvaged.

Defensiveness, antagonism, and contempt will metastasize like cancer and erase all positive feelings of fondness and adoration. Feelings are so corrosive that, over time they break down the bond between husband-and-wife.

Positive feelings like fondness admiration can be fragile. These qualities are as crucial so that both spouses find their relationship rewarding. Both spouses must intentionally and regularly make time to express specifically why they appreciate the other spouse. Let them know specifically what it is about them that is so highly valued.

Jesus doesn't promise you will always have perfect marriage, but He promises you can have an eternal anchor for your soul: THE GOSPEL (John 16:33). Our kids need to see what it looks like to follow Christ more than they need to hear what we say it is like to follow Christ. Parents are the models of following Christ. This is no easy task. Yet there is no better way to teach them than to show them. Our kids need to see us struggle, mess up, yet reply with gospel centered reconciliation.
Our responses to one another, must be Christ-like, God focused, and gospel centered!

  1. Mistakes are made,
  2. Grace is offered,
  3. Forgiveness is experienced,
  4. Repentance causes change and
  5. Mercy is enjoyed!
The gospel response is always the best response and this is how our kid’s faith will be influenced. Is it time to have a conversation with you spouse and begin living a gospel centered marriage? That is my prayer for you. God bless our marriages!
Dr. Phil Sallee, Pastor
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