After the conversation on the career stuff, she began to talk about her last meeting with her small group from church. She said they were having a discussion about the difference in teaching and lecturing your children. Their small group consists of young parents and I know they are all searching for how best to do this "parent thing" the Godly way. She has a two year old son and a 4 month old daughter. Below is a picture of Urijah's baby dedication, which is a great "first step" in leading their son to becoming a believer and follower of Jesus Christ.
She said, "Dad, I just want to thank you for the way you taught us and lectured us. You seemed to know how to do it in a way that got the point across, in both situations. You knew when to teach the bible and when to lecture about God's Word and you did them both in a good way, so that we "got it". She said, "we kid around with you a lot about when you used to "lecture" us and we give you a hard time about them, but they really did make a difference."
I will treasure that "thank you", for the rest of my life. I told her that it's very cool to see one of your adult children, who now is a parent herself, looking back to see how her dad parented her in this way and how she appreciated and respected it enough to want to say "thank you" for that investment. Our children don't really "see" parenting as clearly, as when they begin to parent themselves, and then, they start to see 20/20 the weight and responsibility of Christian parenting. She gets that now.
We will continue to pray for her and Brian and the rest of our adult children, that they can see just how important those "Faith Walks", ie my lectures in some cases and "Faith Talks" ie. those bible teaching times in my case, became in the life of our children, so that they now can pass those along to their children in their own way.
I just recently turned 50 years old. My oldest daughter will turn 29 in another 6 weeks or so. Those lectures and those teaching times happened over the course of 21 years or so. This was after I became a born-again Christian and saw the need and my God given responsibility to raise and to disciple my children in the Way of the Lord. It didn't happen over night. It wasn't one lecture and one teaching time and "well, I hope that does it". Christian parenting is not a sprint. There has to be time and effort spent and yet I would say that it was more of the quality of time for me, that was spent, versus the quantity of time that made the most impact. Because for all of those 21 years I was a divorced, part-time dad, who could only be with his daughters every other weekend or sometimes every third weekend as they got older. So, only because of God's grace and mercy, did He help me to guide my children under those circumstances, which is why you can see how I deeply I treasure that "thank you" from my daughter. If God can do this through me for my children, surely God can and will help guide you through your circumstances. You just need to be willing and stay the course. Just keep on trying even when you don't think it's making a difference or you aren't getting "thanked" for it. They will thank you at some point in their lives, but what IF you never received one thank you? You still have that God-given responsibility. You will still stand in front of God one day and will be held accountable for your parenting efforts.
Be intentional about the moments in your children's lives that become teaching and lecture times and do that over a long period of time. I have no doubt God will bless that investment.
Terry Langenberg
Twitter: TheLangenberg
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