Discipleship Questions To Consider 1

Over the next several months, I’ll be bringing out some thoughts and questions about disciple-making that I’ve spent the last 17 years thinking, attempting, engaging, failing, and eventually learning through the many lives and relationships we’ve been privileged to do life with. I’ve also spent hundreds of hours reading and studying this area and there is a lot of good material out there on the subject. 

In this new role at New Beginnings, I'll be focusing a lot of attention on our involvement with the Relational Discipleship Network. The emphasis here is that we must be intentional with the gospel, intentional with relationships, and intentional with mission. If one of those aspects is dropped--it affects everything else. 

Sometimes, I may bring up questions in an attempt to stir more thought and discussion. 

This week, I wanted to bring out some simple questions that I believe every believer, every church leader, and every pastor/elder serving in churches must deal with. Here’s the first question:

Are you seeing lasting disciples being won to Christ, discipled to maturity by mature believers, and then released to go out and reproduce what just happened to them? 

If you were to ask leaders in the church (pastors/elders/deacons/staff guys/teachers) how well they would grade their church on disciple-making—many of them would admit that they’ve been real busy, they’ve sat and listened to many sermons and lessons given by teachers, and many have given financially to the cause—but they have not been taught and trained in how to engage with difficult people around their lives. 

Many churches have programs, meetings, and committees going on every night of the week at the building. But we must keep before us the oft quoted adage “busy-ness does not equal production.” 

Some churches focus only on Bible teaching—but when we have Bible teaching and lessons without intentional mission and intentional relationships we do not necessarily make disciples who know how to make other disciples. Here we must keep before us the rest of that adage "busy-ness does not equal production...and production does not equal reproduction." 

I saw a quote from Jeff Vanderstelt out on Facebook this week that said:

“If all your discipleship happens in a classroom or at events, people will believe following Jesus is a study or a program.” 

He is exactly right. And some churches that focus ONLY on doctrine and time spent alone in “the Word, the Word, the Word..” never break into the everyday rhythms of life with other people whom God has placed right in front of them. 

Other churches have the end goal of "creating community." But that is not the end goal. We must be communities who are intentional in clarifying the gospel as communities sent on mission. As we go along through life, gospel communities will be created (so there is our community we long for) that are able to create other gospel communities (reproducing disciples) who live on mission. 

Here’s that question again:

Are you seeing lasting disciples being won to Christ, discipled to maturity by mature believers, and then released to go out and reproduce what just happened to them? 

So, first for you as an individual believer, are you intentionally praying & expecting, intentionally planning, intentionally engaging in relationships, and intentionally clarifying who Jesus is and what Jesus has accomplished for us? 

If not, what is your Christianity about? 

For pastors/elders and church staff, are you intentionally praying/expecting, intentionally planning, intentionally engaging in relationships, and intentionally clarifying who Jesus is and what Jesus has accomplished for us? 

If not, what is your Christianity doing? 

And if not you…who is leading people to Christ, discipling them to maturity, and releasing them to reproduce what happened to them? 

The reality is that we are all surrounded by lost culture and people far off from God—some of which know it and some of which confused. 

Jesus is worthy of their worship. 

Sankie P. Lynch

www.nbchurch.info

www.nbfamilies.info

sankie@nbchuch.info

Why Not Just Pray?

Do you pray? 

Do you really pray much?

When was the last time you spent over 20 minutes in prayer? 

When was the last time you spent over 30 minutes in prayer consistently?

When was the last time you were broken over your own sin during prayer?

Are you broken over your own sin consistently in prayer? 

Do you truly cry out to God consistently for your spouse? 

Do you pray consistently for your children’s eternal salvation? 

Do you pray for your children’s future spouse?  

Do you truly cry out to God consistently over lost people who you see each day? 

Do you spend time in prayer over your small group members?

How much time do you pray for the person you’re meeting with in discipleship?

Do you ask for other’s advise for that disciple’s problems or do you pray for wisdom? 

Do you consistently confess your sins in prayer to God?

Have you prayed for any unreached people groups lately? Any missionaries by name?

Take a breath. 

Do you feel beat down? The intent is not to discourage. But these questions do beg the next question: Why not? 

If we really believed that God hears all our prayers and is moving and transforming and interacting in people’s minds and hearts—would we pray more? What keeps you from more earnest prayer? 

So, what does our lack of prayer really reveal about what we think about God? 

“He really doesn’t care.” “He’s too busy.” 

“It seems like He never answers my prayers anyway.” “It seems like He never answers the way I wanted Him to answer.” 

“I’m too busy.” “No one has time for prayer like they did in former times." 

“God is sovereign so it doesn’t matter if we pray or not…He's going to do His will anyway.” 

“I never feel anything when I pray.” 

“I see signs and miracles in the Bible when people prayed, but nothing happens when I pray.” 

What do these type of thoughts reveal at a deeper heart level about our view of God? 

When I think about prayer, it can be both convicting and encouraging. I know everyone says that any talk of more prayer is always convicting. But the season of life we’ve just went through and the events of 2014 for our family have been some of the most difficult in all aspects of life. Yet, even through these events, I wasn’t pressed to prayer as I should have. I was pressed to feel sorry for myself. I was pressed to complain. I was pressed to anger. I was pressed to frustration. I was pressed to doubt. But I didn’t respond with prayer near as much as I should have. Therefore, it is particularly convicting, not merely generally convicting. But at the same time it is encouraging to know that God isn’t mad at me or that I’ve missed the boat on what God wants to do. With prayer, I believe all of us simply need to stop and pray. I have been trying to do that more in the last couple of months. 

We must remember that the changes that we desire for our own hearts as well as those around us must be a sovereign work of God at the heart level among them. I cannot change anyone at the core heart level. I cannot bring heart change. I cannot get us to perform tasks enough or serve enough or read enough or teach enough or add nights of ministry that will bring about the change we desire. God, will change hearts through prayer. We need an emphasis on John 15:5, “Apart from Me, you can do nothing.” Our own minds and our present culture are so busy that it seems counter-productive to slow down and spend many minutes each day—much less an hour or two each day in prayer and meditation. 

Our problem in not seeing more people come to Christ is not because of a lack of programs or staff positions, but instead it is a lack of love.1 We think we love people. But we don’t. We’re selfish with our time. Too selfish to pray and believe and then clarify the gospel with them. Too selfish to pray and weep over their souls. That is not love. We like to think we’re loving, but we’re not. The type of love we need—we can’t come up with by a decision on our part. We need a miracle at the heart level to change us to where we truly have heavy hearts for the lost around us and around the world. God can give us this type of heart. God is the supplier. But He does this type of thing in answer to prayer. 

So what if we as followers of Christ did just the opposite? Instead of more time planning, strategizing, organizing, scheduling, preparing—what if we spent more time praying that small amounts of those areas would suffice the spiritual awakening that God might bring about around us? Prayer is the medium of communication God has designed for repentance. Why not that? 

Sankie P. Lynch 

Assoc. Pastor of Discipleship and Young Families

www.nbchurch.info

www.nbfamilies.info

sankie@nbchurch.info

John Piper Brothers, We Are Not Professionals 'Brothers, Let Us Pray'

What Is Your Life Plan for 2015?

Well, we’re on day 13 of the new year. That means about 75% of people making New Year’s Resolutions have already failed miserably! 

If you’ve already fallen off your wagon you might want to consider writing a life-plan. 

New Year’s Resolutions! For many, like me, that’s just another thing I can feel guilty about failing at—and the guilt may start as early as now.

Last year I pointed people to Brian Howard’s blog to learn “How To Write a Life-Plan.”

{ Brian Howard Blog }

• I do like to use the new year to evaluate where we’re at in life. I like to ask how I (and we as a family) am doing and assess any changes that need to be made. I probably like that approach better than having 1 or 2 huge resolutions. It may be that I need the goals to be very applicable and broken down into very concrete, practical steps that can be seen on a daily and weekly schedule. 

• As stated earlier, I think people who stick to resolutions are very disciplined, but for me, it helps to have a main area or category of life that I want to see growth in (spiritual life, marriage, parenting, serving others, relationships, health, finances, etc) and then have specific, concrete steps in order to implement change. (Brian also has a good tool for assessing and evaluating the past and upcoming year here.)

As Brian stated in his Life Plan guide, instead of “Lose Weight,” which is general and broad, I need to have specific targets that fit into my weekly schedule like “Exercise for 45 minutes on 4-5 days each week.” 

Instead of “Great Marriage,” which is merely pie-in-the-sky thinking without the diligence and hard work to better our marriage, I need specifics like, “I will have a date night each week or at least every other week,” and “I will pray with Jamie 4-5 nights each week.” I need to first take the time to evaluate areas that need growth and then implement specific steps to move towards that growth. 

At New Beginnings, we are working hard at developing a process for discipleship and implementing steps for everyone at every level of spiritual maturity and faith. Let this tool help you personally in your faithfulness as a steward in Christ’s Kingdom. 

{Disclaimer: Some people may feel that being this intentional and purposeful (whether in life plans, spiritual parenting or setting goals for the mission of the church) is a form of legalism. For some people, that may be the case, but you have to know for yourself whether you’re a person who leans more towards legalism or more towards freedom. These are not rules, but tools to help. And for me, all of this flows out of being a faithful steward of captivating grace.}

Sankie P. Lynch

www.nbchurch.info

www.nbfamilies.info

sankie@nbchurch.info

Christmas Gone Bad!

{ This was a video I posted on Facebook during Christmas that I decided to use as a blog. See the detailed steps of failure below! }



Christmas Gone Bad! from Sankie Lynch on Vimeo.
Many people have written on how most of us usually present the “good sides” of our families. We post pictures and stories when our kids succeed or have a starring role or excel in school or sports. We also tell stories of our great parenting moments. 

I love being raw. Many of you know that. When people ask, in passing by, “How are you?” I often tell them. Which is usually more than they asked for!

I also prefer the idea that “I’m not ok. You’re not ok. Let’s be ok with that.” Instead of the alternative “I’ll act like I’ve got it all together. You act like you’ve got it all together. Let’s do that!”

Add to that the fact that I am a Pastor of Families. And I write a blog that speaks much to the issue of parenting. And I speak to many parents and teach classes on discipling your children and teaching them the ways of the Lord.

Let this encourage you and reveal we are not experts and we fail miserably in many and various ways!!

Note: (All of these events happen in less than 60 seconds—that’s how bad we are.)

1. Youngest son, Jackson, kicks it all off with a growling angst in having to open the present together. It would seem we’ve never talked to our kids at all about sharing hearts ready to give to others! Fail 1.
2. Oldest son, Sankie’s immediate idolatry over a Wii game. Some of you don’t even allow your kids to have gaming systems—especially not allowing kids to idolize them! Fail 2.
3. Middle son, Owen, ripping the Mario Sports Mix game away from younger brother. Great teamwork, humility, and concern for others than yourselves. Fail 3.
4. Youngest son again, Jack’s second turn, grabbing, slinging, and assaulting Owen with a nice shot. Most parents have talked to their children about assault and battery. Fail 4.
5. Dad (me-42 yrs old), as I see the tension mounting and know Jack’s next move, you can hear me quietly saying “Yesss!!!” in the moment of thrill…I mean disgrace. Fail 5.
6. Oldest son attempting to bring peace, calm Jack, and stop the assault—it doesn’t work. Most of you have trained your older children to help in times of crisis. Fail 6.
7. Dad again, as I passively stand back giggling while my eight year-old steps up to protect and bring peace—you can hear me say “Christmas gone bad!” Most of you are more mature and don’t fall into the four year-olds demise. Not me! I was the baby of the family also. Me and Eddie Vedder feel his angst! Fail 7.
8. Youngest son again (his 3rd entry) as he’s being hugged and comforted by his older brother—he goes into Assault and Battery II. Bold move. Fearless. We’ll see how that works out in life. Fail 8.
9. Mom and Dad together—after four year-old assaults both brothers—what is the right thing to do? Correct him? Speak to him about his selfishness? Nope. Not us. We simply make the two assaulted boys give him the idolatrous video game he was throwing a fit over. Fail 9.
10. Dad (my 3rd entry—or 4th if you give me credit for the sack on last play) turning to their grandmother who currently has brain and lung cancer, simply blaming her, “Grammy, you caused the fight.” Fail 10.
You should feel very good about yourselves. You are much better parents than we are!
I doubt anyone can beat that Christmas Parenting Fail video in less than 60 seconds?
Enjoy!

May we all (even those of us needing the most help!) enjoy much grace in 2015!

Sankie P. Lynch
www.nbchurch.info
www.nbfamilies.info
sankie@nbchurch.info

Is Character Building an "Event' or a "Process"?

This is another great read by Tim Elmore that talks about character building. As you read his blog below, think about being the spiritual leader of your home, and what role you play in the character building of your son(s) and/or daughter(s). What will Jesus say about your spiritual leadership as you help mold them with the character of Christ? Will he say "well done, my good and faithful servant"?

 

How Athletes Hide Behind Their Talent

photo credit: Huskie Outsider via photopin cc

During this time of year, professional sports teams say they care deeply about a draft prospect’s character. They tell us it matters to them if a player has a history of arrests, suspensions or violations, like smoking pot or abusing a girlfriend. But soon, all this talk evaporates as teams in the NBA, MLB and NFL search for players who will help them win games and make money. As one AFC general manager said:

“Talent always trumps character.”

Another NFC general manager echoed this sentiment: “Understand the sliding scale of all of this when you’re dealing with some of the top talent in the nation. That’s the contradiction… If you have a very, very talented individual who has a character issue, you’re a lot more apt to accept them than someone who is more of a midline talent. That’s just the way it is.”

Unfortunately, this happens in athletic programs all across the nation—recruiters focus on ability and results over character, and as a result, athletes with questionable integrity find their way onto major teams. It shouldn’t be this way.

“In the draft, teams rarely miss when it comes to talent,” writes ESPN reporter Ashley Fox. “Everything is quantifiable, from the basics of height, weight, wingspan and hand size to 40-yard dash time, vertical jump and bench press… There are statistics and measurables. It is hard to miss on skill.

“No… teams make mistakes on character. It happens all the time. Character is more than an arrest record. It is more than work ethic. It is more than any psychological test can reveal, because you can’t test a player’s heart. You can’t test his will. And you can’t test how he will react to suddenly having more money in his pocket than he ever imagined. Character is what teams miss on. Some accept the risk of taking a player with a questionable background, either because the head coach has ultimate power and wants to win now or because they believe they have the structure and the locker room to handle it.”

How Players Hide

The story of Aaron Hernandez is a perfect example of this situation. No doubt, there were several questions about Hernandez when he came out of Florida. He dropped to a fourth round draft pick because teams questioned his behavior off the field and whether they’d be able to babysit him as a pro. Eventually, New England took a calculated risk and recruited him. They could not have been more mistaken.

Just like we’ve always heard “love is blind,” I believe “lust is blind.” When we lust after talent, wins or money, we don’t see straight as coaches and staff. We hear the stories that should give us pause, but somehow, we can’t think clearly. We somehow think this player will be an exception, that we can handle him.

Really coach? Will you handle him? Can you spend extra time mentoring this young man who may have never had a healthy male role model? Will you help this gifted young player begin a “process” of discipline that may be foreign to his lifestyle? Will you help him fall in love with the process, not just the glamour of a game?

Analogy: In 2002, a 19-year old garbage collector won $15 million dollars. He spent it on gambling, drugs and prostitutes. Today, he’s now a garbage collector again. He may have been a millionaire, but he never learned the lifestyle it takes to earn a million dollars, which would have enabled him to manage it and increase it. It was an “event,” not a “process,” that put him on top.

In a sense, possessing a big talent is a little like winning millions of dollars in the lottery. This “event” cannot replace the “process” of growth one must experience in order to live up to it. Truth be told, many American’s have won the lottery and gone broke within two years of winning millions of dollars. Why? The “win” never built discipline inside of them. It gave them the illusion that they were untouchable and invincible. But we all know that’s not true. Money runs out. Talent runs out.

How We Discover What’s Inside

I love meeting coaches and athletic staff that understand this issue. They offer second chances to athletes who need them, but they never compromise on building the process of discipline inside the athlete.

At Growing Leaders, we use Habitudes® for Athletes for this process. Each Habitude is a distinctive image that communicates a timeless character ideal in a way that’s relevant to athletes. Here are a few important Habitudes to keep in mind as you work to develop the character of your athletes:

1. Talk about the price tag before you hop into the “taxi cab.”
   The Taxi Principle reminds us: we must never get into a taxicab without first asking how much the ride will cost. Good coaches count the cost before taking on players who may be trouble. Do you have extra time to develop their hearts as well as their talents?

2. Be sure you have enough “thermostats” in the locker room.
   Never take on questionable character without strong, character-filled leaders in the locker room who influence the team. Are your leaders “thermostats” for the team… players that can turn the temperature up?

3. Be willing to play “chess” not “checkers” with your players.
   Chess and Checkers reminds us that each team member is like a chess piece. You must treat them differently, based on their strengths, weaknesses and personalities, in order to enable them to be their best. Will you give them this effort?

4. Work on the portion of the “iceberg” below the surface.
   You understand an iceberg, right? 10% is visible, just like talent. But 90% is invisible, just like character. Spend time working on your team’s disciplines and values below the surface. It will make or break them.

“I look at character first,” one head coach said. “If I’m leaning toward a guy that is borderline character, then I look at the strength of my leaders that will be returning to the team that particular year. Bad character guys off the field I normally would take off my board.”

What are your thoughts? How do you encourage strong character on your team?

RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes when you are confronted with temptation, you just have to run from it.Some times that means to actually physically remove yourself from the situation and other times it may mean to remove your thoughts from the situation. The story of Joseph gives us a great example of a man who physically ran from temptation.

In the book of Genesis, Joseph had been placed in charge of his Egyptian master's house and his master had "placed all that he owned under his authority." Gen 39:4. Unfortunately for Joseph, the masters wife became infatuated with Joseph because "Joseph was well-built and handsome." Gen 39:6

Joseph had enough integrity, honor and respect for God and for his master to resist the master's wife's offer to go to bed with her.
 "No one in this house is greater than I am. He(the master) has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. So how could I do such a great evil and sin against God? Although she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her." Gen 39:9-10

Joseph refused her day after day, until finally, he had to run.
"Now one day he went into the house to do his work, and none of the household servants was there. She grabbed him by his garment and said "Sleep with me!" But leaving his garment in her hand, he escaped and ran outside." Gen 39:11-12

Sometimes when you are confronted with temptation, you just have to run from it.

Joseph resisted the master's wife day after day, until finally, he just had to physically run from the situation.

And sometimes the temptation is in your thoughts and mind, and you have to resist it too.

"Therefore, submit to God. But resist the Devil, and he will flee from you." James 4:7

What temptations do you need to physically be removing yourself from and what temptations do you need to be resisting from in your mind?

 "Therefore, submit to God. But resist the devil and he will flee from you."



Terry Langenberg
Twitter: TheLangenberg
Facebook: TheLangenberg