Thursday, May 22, 2014

Does your child or student have empathy?

Parents, are you seeing a lack of empathy in your teens or young adults? What kind of culture and society would we be living in where people don't care about others or are emotionally detached? Desensitized? Is that how Jesus would want us to act toward others? It sure would make life easier to not have to worry about the poor, the homeless, the suffering, the abused, the kidnapped sex slaves, the orphans, the single parents, the widowed, the divorced, the unbelievers who need to hear the Gospel message. If this is the direction our culture is headed it makes me wonder how I will be treated by our culture as I get to retirement age. Doctors with no empathy. Nurses with no empathy. Hospital administrators with no empathy. Politicians and lawmakers with no empathy. Lawyers, judges and justices with no empathy. Can you say death panels anyone? Could that be a possibility in a culture with no empathy?

Parents and grandparents, we are raising the next generation. Check out the unintended consequences below in Tim Elmore's blog called "Teamwork and Today's Student Athlete". It touches on the topic of empathy and how it has changed dramatically in college students over the past ten years.

"As we keep our ear to the ground, we continue to hear reports that emotional intelligence—and specifically empathy—is spiraling downward among kids. The sociology department at the University of Michigan, led by Dr. William Axinn at the Population Studies Center, tells us that college students today are approximately 40% less empathetic than they were just ten years ago. That’s quite a drop. I find it strange that in a generation more connected than ever, young adults find it increasingly difficult to feel compassion toward each other. Instead, ours is a time of self-expansion, where parents condition their kid to watch out for themselves, get as much playing time as possible, and do whatever you have to do to get ahead. Although they’re playing a “team sport,” there’s less empathy for others.

Why is that?


Let me remind you of the realities in their world.
1. Screen Time
As screen time goes up, empathy goes down. Follow it. You will find that the more a student is in front of a video, computer or phone screen, their level of empathy for people drops. Cognitive understanding is at an all-time high, but to feel the pain of others emotionally may just be at an all-time low.
You’re response: Balance screen time with face-to-face time and explain it. For each hour your kids spend on a screen, they should spend equal time with people.
2. Information Overload
Between commercial messages, texts, emails, Facebook posts, Instagrams, YouTube videos, and more, a student today receives about 1,000 messages every day. It’s too much information, and as a result, students are forced to develop filters in their brains to screen out data. Sadly, content that is emotionally expensive often doesn’t make the cut.
You’re response: Talk about this reality with your students and let them “own” how they filter out unessential information in order to digest what really matters.
3. Responsible Behavior
Kids have grown up in a world where mistakes or tragedy they witness often doesn’t carry consequences. They see a friend commit a crime, or cheat on a test, but get off easy. They see people get shot on TV or on a violent video game but it doesn’t mean anything. This desensitizes kids and makes them emotionally uninvolved.
Your response: The next time a student fails, be sure they feel the consequences. It’s a reality check. Talk over the long-term, unintended price tag of failure.
4. Virtual Reality.
I’ve said this for years. Students have lots of experiences, but many are virtual. To witness something on a YouTube video that lasts two minutes and can be shut off just doesn’t enlist the emotions of a viewer. It’s a squirt of data. Herbert Simon said, “A wealth of information creates a poverty of attention.”
You’re response: Take your students to experience poverty or disease in a homeless shelter or a cancer ward. In the end, there’s nothing like “touching the real thing” to cultivate empathy.
5. Role Models.
Sometimes, students fail to develop empathy because they see a generation of adults lead with a jaded, cynical attitude. We are all wary of being taken advantage of or being conned, so we keep our guard up. Because we don’t want to be “victims,” we prevent ourselves from feeling what true victims feel.
Your response: Be intentional about talking over current events, like school shootings or victims of natural disasters, and share your feelings about them. Model empathy.


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