10 things… You Should Know About
Teens & Tweens
Dating & Sex
- “1
in 4 teens gets an STD before they head off to college” (NCPCF)
- “1 in 3 teens experience some kind of abuse in
their relationships” (dayoneny.org)
My thoughts on approaching the topic of Dating
& Sex
- Don’t “demonize” sex or over “glorify” it (trying to make it great & special)
- Modeling healthy relationship with the opposite sex
in front of teens (honor & service)
- Teaching an “Others-Focused” approach to dating
relationships (It’s not about you)
According to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen
Pregnancy
-
Teens rated
their parents as the most influential
factor in their decisions about sex.
-
78% of all
teens surveyed believed that teenagers should not be sexually active.
-
89% of those
surveyed would advise their own brother, sister or friend not to have sex until
at least finishing high school.
5 Tips when thinking through Teen Dating (Adapted from Homeword.com)
- Talk and
set the rules for dating before it
actually starts. Gather their opinions about such things as curfew, where and
with who a date looks like, dealing with distractions.
- Learn
about their dating readiness by
asking good questions: How do you know you can trust someone? How do you know
when you like someone? Lust vs. Love?
- Know when
to listen and keep your opinions
to yourself. An ill-timed negative comment about the current
boyfriend/girlfriend could send your teen rushing back.
- Offer
your own teen dating stories, at a
time when your child is receptive to hearing them. And be truthful. Let your
child learn from your mistakes.
- Listen to
their stories. You may be
naturally inclined to tune out the pre-teen saga of who said what to whom each
day. But this is the way this age group communicates…
o *Think about signing your pre-teen-ager up for
self-defense or assertiveness training classes. Make sure they have the tools
to stand up for themselves.
-
Consent
for sex in Oklahoma is 16 & older, HOWEVER, only within two years apart
-
14
year olds and older can consent to testing, treatment, adoption, abortion, etc.
Couple quick thoughts about Sexual Orientation...
- Be Safe: Express Warmth & Empathy (Regardless of your feelings!!)
- Demonstrate unconditional love and acceptance
- Find some resources and ask for help from experienced leaders
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