Parents: It's About Character, Not Perfection

    Do you remember when your child first began to speak real words? It was such a joy to hear the words daddy or mommy. Gradually they learn more and more words. They are becoming your pride and joy. They are learning so well and so fast. A year or two later all of the sudden out of the back seat of the car on your way to the store, there comes a word you have never heard come from your child before and hope never comes out again. A word that shouldn't be spoken by anyone, let alone a two, three or four year old. Where could they have possibly learned that word you say? You are mortified. You begin to think, "where in the world would this little child hear such a word?" and then you realize it was YOU who said that word while you were in the car with you child one day. You remember that you had to slam on the brakes and almost crashed into the car in front of you. It just came out without hesitation, in anger, fear, frustration, but little Johnny was sitting in his car seat in the back and now he has learned a new word. Ooops!!!


Parents make mistakes and children are watching and listening. Children continue to watch and listen as they grow into teenagers and then into adults.


So if we can't be perfect, what's the next best thing for our children to see and to learn from us? Character. In his book, "The Conviction to Lead: 25 Principles For Leadership That Matters", Albert Mohler writes a chapter on "Leadership is All About Character". In this chapter, he writes:


      "This is the leader's responsibility.....to deal with himself. We are not perfect, and claims of perfection will only serve to undermine our leadership. We will fail, and we must be answerable for those failures. Our sin will show up in our leadership, usually without delay.
      Character is indispensable to credibility, and credibility is essential to leadership. The great warning to every leader is that certain sins and scandals can spell the end of our leadership. We can forfeit our role as leader and the stewardship of leadership can be taken from us.
     When our lives are shown to be at odds with our convictions, we destroy everything we have sought to build. At the very least, inconsistency in our lives gives license for others to nurture their own consistencies. At its worst, moral and convictional failure spell disaster from which the leader has no way to recover.
    Leaders like all sinners, can be forgiven. But forgiveness does not restore credibility, and character must be seen as something that can be lost far easier than gained, much less restored.
   Leaders of character produce organizations of character because character, like conviction, is infectious. Followers are drawn to those whose character attracts them as something they want for themselves.
   Fairly regularly, we see debates over the meaning of character and leadership in public life. Most of it is nonsense. We know that character matters when we hire a baby-sitter. How can it not matter when we are calling a leader?"




So, parents, are your lives "shown to be at odds with our convictions"? If so, according to Mohler, "we destroy everything we have sought to build. At the very least, inconsistency in our lives gives license for others to nurture their own consistencies. At its worst, moral and convictional failure spell disaster from which the leader has no way to recover.


Pray for this in your parenting,  "Character is indispensable to credibility, and credibility is essential to leadership." Pray for your character and your credibility with your children. Pray for that character be protected from Satan's attack. So that your character can lead to children who want to follow you as their leader, "Leaders of character produce organizations of character because character, like conviction, is infectious. Followers are drawn to those whose character attracts them as something they want for themselves."


Do your children know what convicts you? Do they know why you believe what you do? And more importantly, do you live what you believe about those convictions, in front of them enough to make it "infectious" for them? Do they want character for themselves?