A Call to Correct

"This is going to hurt me worse than it’s going to hurt you.” I remember hearing that phrase many times as a youngster. It normally came shortly after I was caught picking on my little brother and just before getting worn out for my transgression. As a child I thought it was a bunch of bologna – a completely bogus claim! How could my parents honestly expect me to believe that their role in spanking was worse than that of myself, the swat recipient?! What, was the reverberations back through the handle of the wooden paddle too much to bear? Please!! However, now that I’m an adult and blessed to be the father of three, I totally understand what they meant. It is no fun disciplining our kiddos…yet it must be done.

Our middle school ministry is studying through the Old Testament book of Proverbs this month. One of the main themes recorded throughout is that of being teachable. Solomon pleads with the reader to be coachable and correctible - able to receive instruction, direction, and even criticism. I’m not sure there is a greater attribute that we could help develop in our children. But I’m even more certain that this character trait will not happen outside of divine intervention, unless we find the courage to trust God and discipline our kids.

Parents, as much as it hurts, we must be willing to correct… “For the Lord reproves him who He loves, as a father the son in whom he delights. (Proverbs 3:12)” The writer of Hebrews cites this proverb in Hebrews 12:4-5 as an encouragement to early believers. If we continue reading the same chapter (Hebrews 12:7-10), we see the heart behind God’s discipline of His children. The Lord’s correction proves His love and legitimacy as our Father. It is also done for a bigger, far more important goal than just today. It is “for our greater good, that we may share in His holiness.”

If I may be transparent for a moment, that’s the reminder I need. I must remember that we are playing for something more significant than right now. We are striving toward something more worthwhile than my present desire to be liked. I’m not called to be our kids’ best friend. My responsibility is to faithfully love them like the Father, pointing each of our children to Christ. As we’ve wrestled with the weight of this topic, my wife and I have discovered the real issue for us is trust. Do we trust the Lord enough to hold fast to the promise of His word? Do we believe that He loves each of our children even more than us? Do we realize that we are merely stewards of His precious three little ones? Ultimately, will we love them well enough to correct?

Our middle child turned eight this past weekend and our oldest entered double-digits earlier this year. With the teenage years looming, it sometimes feels like our attempts to discipline may push them away. The reality that our kids will not always see us as “cool” is a glaring fact and a bitter pill to swallow. However, the reward of faithful obedience is greater and our hope in Christ is stronger! “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11)” 

May we bravely answer the call to correct… Might our fears of temporal losses be replaced by deep-seated trust in the eternal promises of the One who created us all (including our children). I pray that while it will be painful to point out their areas of weakness and engage our children in tough talks, we remain aware of the truth that our disobedience and unwillingness to fulfill our parental call, well...it will truly hurt much worse.