Positive Marriage is New Beginnings Church's Marriage Class. It meets on Wednesday Nights at 6:30 Starting February 18, 2015. Sign up here.
On Fridays I have started a series that is addressing the importance of modeling gospel driven marriages. God is the Architect of the brilliant plan to capture the hearts of the generations through His families (Malachi 4:6). God has designed the family to be the channel to pass on His plan for redemption to the next generation (Genesis 12:1-3; Psalm 78:3-8).NBFamilies are working to discover providential opportunities where - traditional parents, single parents, grand parents, step parents, foster parents - can experience God’s life changing presence in their homes.
Let this sink in:
- Our kid’s hearts are being shaped by observing our marriages.
- Our kid’s faith is being influenced by observing how we treat each other as husband and wife.
- Our kid’s faith, their ability to trust, their sense of safety and security, is either being bolstered or being destroyed every day, as they watch us.
- Since marriage is a metaphor for God’s love for His church, (Ephesians 5:25-32) what are our kids learning as they study how we relate to one another?
For the past 13 weeks I have written about how to improve you marriage and why it is so vital to your family.
- Week #1: - Our Kids Study Us!
- Week #2 - Don’t Raise Your Voice With Me!
- Week #3 - Don’t Shut Me Out!
- Week #4 - Befriending My Spouse
- Week #5 - 10 Tips for a Successful Conversation
- Week #6 – “Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones,” but a Lack of Intimacy Will Hurt Me Too!
- Week #7 – I’m Sorry. I’m not listening!
- Week #8 - "I can't get him to open up." "She won't hush!"
- Week #9 - "Something is Wrong in My Marriage." "She won't hush!"
- Week #10 - Marriage is Under Attack!
- Week #11 - Please Help My Marriage!
- Week #12 - What I Like About You!
- How do have a marriage that honors God?
- How do have a marriage where both spouses feel valued and appreciated?
- How do have a marriage that raises godly children who fear the Lord?
NEW CONTENT
Creating a marriage that honors God, builds up both spouses, and raises godly children is actually very uncomplicated. Successfully married couples have stumbled upon a dynamic that keeps their negative thoughts and feelings about each other from overwhelming positive thoughts and feelings about each other.Ephesians 5:25-28 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.As the apostle Paul describes in Ephesians 5:25-28 , it is the simple truth that healthy marriages are based on a deep and unshakable love alliance. This deep and unshakable love alliance will result in ascribing worth, honor, and value to your spouse:
- Both spouses experience a mutual respect and enjoyment for time with each other.
- Both spouses are deliberately inclined to know each other through and through.
- Both spouses accurately understand each other’s preferences, aversions, personality quirks, hopes, and dreams.
- Both spouses have an abiding regard for each other and express this fondness not just in big ways but a little ways each and every day.
- Both spouses manage their schedules so that they can spend time with one another. When they are together they are invested in one another.
Focusing on minor details, managing schedules, and intentionally paying attention may not seem like romance. However, it is attention to these small things that help build the foundation for a deep and unshakable love alliance. As a result these couples have a marriages that are far more passionate than couples who only take expensive romantic vacations and lavish one another with anniversary gifts but have fallen out of touch with one another in their day-to-day lives. Fun and friendship are the firewood that stokes the flame of romance because it offers the best protection against feeling angry and lonely toward your spouse.
As Valentine Day approaches the pressure and expectation of expressing amorous thoughts begins to build. Couples who have not attributed worth, honor, and value to one another may suffer from believing any gestures of romance are selfish or insincere. This is a dangerous marriage dynamic. But the dynamic can be reversed though daily, deliberate expressions of fondness.
- Say please and thank you.
- Be complementary and flirt.
- Plan something fun and share laughter.
- Listen to your spouse’s stories without being distracted.
- Watch what they like to watch on television and discuss it with them.
- Send fun and clever text messages for no apparent reason.
- Leave brief voicemails that dispense importance and attraction rather than annoyance and frustration.
- Make time for one another.
- Be polite, respectful, kind, and playful.
These intentional expressions of affection are not difficult but they are important. And they bring credibility to your gestures of romance.
Jesus doesn't promise you will always have perfect marriage, but He promises you can have an eternal anchor for your soul: THE GOSPEL (John 16:33). Our kids need to see what it looks like to follow Christ more than they need to hear what we say it is like to follow Christ. Parents are the models of following Christ. This is no easy task. Yet there is no better way to teach them than to show them. Our kids need to see us struggle, mess up, yet reply with gospel centered reconciliation.
Our responses to one another, must be Christ-like, God focused, and gospel centered!
- Mistakes are made,
- Grace is offered,
- Forgiveness is experienced,
- Repentance causes change and
- Mercy is enjoyed!
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| Dr. Phil Sallee, Pastor twitter.com/philsallee facebook.com/phil.sallee philsallee.info nbchurch.info nbfamilies.info |
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