Well, kids and parents alike know it’s coming. Most people are dreading it. There are a few who appreciate the structure more so they like the days ahead. But most of the parents we’ve talked to lately are definitely not looking forward to it. That’s right. I’m talking about school starting back.
School would be great if you could keep the same attitude and schedule of summer. Things get too difficult in the schedule?—go chill beside the pool for a while. You’ll feel better. Kids getting too loud?—turn up the iTunes beside that pool. Frantic pace of driving little people around to practices, events, functions, and games got you stressed just thinking about it?—Take a swim at the lake and let the burdens wash away with the ripple of the waves up close to the sunset. Summer has it’s own attitude. Summer has it’s own schedule.
We’ve talked to many parents, who, like us, have been more laid back in our schedule over the summers. We let the boys stay up a little later in the summer (if you’re judging already you may want to hit that red “x” in the top corner). It starts out sounding like a good idea, “a little extra time watching movies or grabbing a snow cone late as a family,” turns into a bad version of “Lord of the Flies.” We hang out with several couples and they get to stay up later there also. They still only get to play “devices” on weekends and for limited times. But those limited times seem like they’ve stretched over the summer (again if you’re annoyed at my parenting the little red button helps). We’ve probably had close to too much sun and too much fun—if that’s possible.
We’ve got to point them to some of our favorite evidences of God’s beauty and power in watching simple sunsets over the water and trees at the lake. It may not be a scheduled “Faith Talk,” but those “God Moments” are worth pausing and sharing when they explode right before your eyes.
If you remember a couple of months back as summer began, I wrote a blog about how we as a family were going to slow down our pace—to work on God’s idea of “rest” and to truly try to enjoy this time in life with these little ones. It is passing so fast and we don’t want to live with regrets later on. We don’t want to have the regret of too much time spent pursuing other things when the most valuable things were right in front of us—but we were too “BUSY” doing so much “for them” that we missed actually being “with them.” They don’t really need all that busyness either. The polls and studies show that even awkward teens would be open to doing things together if it were truly some sort of quality time—not merely rushing to the next forced calendar event.
We also intentionally planned on spending more time building relationships and getting to know people better. We’ve got to spend lots of quality time with many new and old friends over coffee, dinner, time at the lake, and poolside. And as I stated in last week’s blog, after assessing our decision to simplify, rest, and enjoy where God has us in this season of life, Jamie said, “This is probably the best summer we’ve ever had.”
We purposefully checked out of any activities or sports. We truly wanted to enjoy our family and the people we’ve built relationships with as we’ve moved to South County. We’ve stuck to our plan and you know what…it’s been incredible!
Who would have thought that simplifying your life, working hard and learning to rest well would actually be rewarding and enjoyable?
But we’re not alone. Some of you have also failed at parenting in many forms this summer. And like us, you’re not wanting the later nights to disappear. But oh how they’re going to disappear! Those little mongrels don’t bathe or feed or dress themselves ya know. They require more maintenance…more guidance…more structure…more parenting. They suck the life out of you! I’m convinced they devise plans and team up with secret stashes of Mountain Dew tucked away in their rooms somewhere. So what do you do when you’ve relaxed the schedule more than you had planned and you’ve dropped some of your more structured intentional parenting over the summer?
Here’s a handful of ideas to get you back to a more intentional and purposeful plan.
Concerning Family Worship
1. Be intentional with a workable plan—and then make that plan work itself out into the practical daily, weekly, monthly schedule.
- Need an idea of a plan--check this out--NB Faith Map.
- “A good plan today is better than a perfect plan next week.” —Josh McPherson (Grace City Church-Wenatchee, Washington)
- We often think we have to have all the questions answered and all the variables thought through and nailed down into a perfect plan. But you’ll never get started if you’re waiting on all the perfect pieces to fall into place. You’ll always feel inadequate spiritually guiding your children. You’ll never know all the answers to all the questions. But you don’t have to. Just get a simple plan and then stick to that plan.
- “Perfection can be the enemy of progress. One step of action today is better than a perfect plan next week or month.” —Brian Howard
Do you have a plan for your family? Or are you merely full of good intentions for the upcoming semester? (Next thing you know it’s November and you’ve still not followed through)
2. Let the natural rhythms and passions of your life help you as a family—not hinder you.
- Eating: You know your family has to eat. With a tiny bit of effort and planning you can redeem your families meals together and try to have several times each week where you eat meals together as a family.
- Creative Energies: Let your kid’s passions and ideas lead to the parents joining them in those pursuits—not merely being a bystander, a critic, or a provider. Truly join them. Enjoy them in it—not merely the success or abilities they’re developing—but enjoy “them” in the process.
- Entertainment/Recreation: If your family loves football or snow skiing or hiking or Scrabble or watching family videos or golf—spend a bit more effort and think through how this could be a family thing you do together—not extended periods of silence and solitude away from each other.
3. Let the gospel grow bigger and illuminate more of your thinking as a family.
- Don’t try to be perfect. Jesus died and provided all that we could never have provided for ourselves.
- Don’t try to have perfect kids. Jesus died and provided all that they needed and all they could never have done for themselves.
- Don’t try to portray an image that is better than an unworthy, humbled, undeserving beggar in spiritual matters. “Blessed are the poor in spirit,” was the type of spiritual bankruptcy Jesus prescribed for all those who would recognize their great need for Himself.
- Don't ever graduate Jesus and His cross.
“Engaging your kids with gospel-intentional talk tonight is far better than a perfectly-crafted program for your family next month.” —Brian Howard
4. Simply get into the Bible together.
- The Bible is God’s very words to us that He chose, word for word, to bring self-disclosure to us. If God has spoken (He has/the Bible) then we should read it and study it and learn it and listen to it and memorize it and meditate it and pray it and trust it and live it and teach it diligently and talk daily and often of it throughout the day and discuss it thoroughly.
- Many parents ask, “What should I start with in the Bible with my kids?” Or “We’ve failed at following through over long periods—so what can we do to be more consistent?”
- Answer: Brian Howard has a simple plan — “Read one chapter from the Bible each day."
- What if I don’t do it for several days? —Read one chapter today.
- Shouldn’t I go back and read several chapters to catch up? —Nope. Read one chapter today.
- What if I miss a whole month? —Read one chapter today.”
If there is something in our minds that keeps going back to that thought, "I always fail at reading enough...praying enough...having good enough quiet times..." it may be that you need to go back and stare at what Jesus accomplished on the cross on your behalf. It had entirely nothing to do with you reading enough, praying enough, or having good enough anything to position you closer to Him. The fact that our minds and hearts want to use legalistic measurements that remove us from enjoying grace and enjoying Jesus should reveal to us how much we do not understand the gospel of Jesus Christ. Yes, reading and praying and silence before the Lord has endearing place--but only because of the Person and Power of the Christ.
Take a deep breath. Lift your chin up. Swallow. You are going to fail and not follow through with several things this year--especially in the spiritual raising of your children. Jesus is their all-sufficient Savior. Not you their fallible, weak, sinful parent. Point them to Him. And fail. And fall short of expectations. And get up and point them to Him. Repeat.
I hope you’re encouraged to kick off the new semester with a gathered since of purpose and some prodding thoughts of what you could do as parents to truly spiritually lead your family towards their only Savior. He is worthy of the difficult and tedious amounts of planning and scheduling. He is worthy of every breath and thought you will ever have—so why not pass Him on to the next generation so they can bask in the enjoyment of what He has accomplished for them on His cross.
Sankie P. Lynch
Pastor of Families
www.nbchurch.info
www.nbfamilies.info
sankie@nbchurch.info
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