I’m not
really sure how to ease into this topic, so I’ll just dive in and get to the
point. This past weekend I was…well, kind of emotional…maybe even a tad weepy at
times…not sad at all but definitely stirred – so much so that I was left
wondering, “What’s wrong with me?” “Why am I so easily moved all the sudden?”
As the
weekend progressed and I became increasingly more aware of my sappy state, I
tried to pinpoint the cause. However, the usual suspects were not the culprits
this time. I wasn’t tired. In fact I was very well rested. There was nothing
weighing heavily on my soul. Stress didn’t seem to be an issue at all, as I
felt fairly relaxed and emotionally stable. Yet multiple times throughout the
weekend, I was moved to tears (feel free to imagine something more masculine
here if you’d like).
While
doing a few chores around the house on Friday, I was listening to some worship
music and the words seemed to deeply resonate with me and my affections for the
Lord were stirred. Later that evening at dinner, I was moved by the
conversation and transparency of our friends. Because there was another dude
sitting across the table, I kept my composure, but man, I was so thankful for
God’s evident grace that it was hard to hide my genuine gratitude. Our Saturday
brunch at the house was rich and full of reminders of God’s truth and goodness that
again, had me feeling all choked-up inside. As you might’ve imagined, Sunday’s worship
service was much more of the same. But to top it off, while watching a movie with
the family yesterday afternoon, one for which I have seen a half dozen times or
more, I found myself emotionally engaged and constantly sniffling and drying my
eyes. “What in the heck is wrong with me?!”
As I’ve
processed through this past weekend and analyzed all that triggered such
overwhelming appreciation within, there is only one for which to blame, and
that One is God. For the first time in far too long, I took advantage of an
opportunity to leisurely spend some time in His word. Friday was my first day off
in a while that wasn’t already slammed with an agenda or itinerary of things to
do. So, I was able to just be present with the Lord. I didn’t feel pressure to
get notes ready to teach nor did I feel a need to hurry on to the next thing. I
was able to just be. I was blessed to have His Word speak to the depths of my
heart in ways that hit me afresh. So when I proceeded on to chores and heard
the gospel through song, I was again moved. When I listened to the testimonies
of friends, I saw His truth being fleshed out. Even the movie on Sunday
affected me far more deeply. Why? Because the Holy Spirit allowed me to notice some
shadows and glimpses of Him in that film which led me to respond in worship.
So as I
think back on my weekend, I’m thankful that God would meet with me in such an
intimately personal way, for it truly is a gift to be moved! I’m comforted that
my being moved to tears does not necessitate me becoming a bigger softie than I
already am, as much as it reminds me that He still speaks and by His grace, I
am able to hear. I’m grateful for my spiritual eyes that have been opened that
I might see. Lord knows I miss plenty, as I am prone to look aside at the
temporal distractions of this world! So the real question shouldn’t be “Why am
I so moved? but rather, “Why am I not moved more often?” I’m convinced that
once one gets a glimpse of the Savior, he will forever be changed. Might we
pray that the Lord would reveal Himself to those that are currently far from
Him. I’m also certain that as Christ’s followers, our passionate pursuit and
obedience of Him is constantly motivated by the gospel. So may we learn to gaze
upon the cross daily and have our affections for Christ stirred anew - for our joy and His glory!
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