Cinco Celebration

Today is an important day for our family, one we refer to in our home as Cinco Celebration. For it was on this very date two years ago that my wife officially became the legal guardian and mother of our three oldest children. Although our kiddos already considered Brittany their mother and had been calling her “mama” for much longer than that, there was something especially beautiful about the adoption ceremony. Joined by many friends and family in the quaint quarters of a courtroom, we rejoiced as Judge Harris announced his final decree. When I reflect back on that moment I’m filled with gratitude, for God’s goodness and provision, for His redemptive and restorative work in our family, and for the precious opportunity the day has afforded.

It is one thing to experience the incredible love that a parent has for their children, yet quite another thing to express that kind of love. No matter how hard I try, my words always fall short. In this regard, I’m actually a bit jealous of B. At best, as biological father, I could only agree in principle to love what I thought Brooks, Chandler, and Matilyn might potentially become. I did not have the opportunity to weigh all the pros and cons. I don’t remember thinking about the sleepless nights that would come. I cannot remember being afraid of high fevers that would accompany severe illness, being angered about food and drink that would eventually soil new carpet, or feeling the panic of children thoughtlessly running toward a busy street of traffic. I do not recall considering how these niños would zap me of my financial and energy resources, how they would learn to backtalk, roll their eyes, smell, rebel, and the like. All of that was a possibility but just not known. My pre-parenting thoughts were only of the positive variety - playing catch in the backyard, going camping, cuddling on the couch, etc.

Brittany, however, was able to make a much more informed, educated decision before entering parenthood. Sure she saw the cuteness and creativity of the trio, but she also observed the messiness of their pre-adolescent depravity. Sin was not something they merely had the propensity to do, but an area in which they had already become pretty skilled. As apparent as my scars were to my wife, the kids warts and blemishes were equally obvious as well. As sweet as they were, they promised to certainly be a handful. And yet she said to them, “I love you and I want you to know that you are deeply cared for. You are not just like my own, you are mine! You belong to me. I choose you and promise to love and protect you for the rest of my life.” So while the biological parent rolls the dice and takes a chance on maybe receiving a lemon (just teasing folks), the adoptive parent has a detailed CarFax, so to speak. And in this particular sense, adoption’s expression of love is much greater than that of a bio mom or dad.

When I above mentioned how thankful I am for the opportunity May 23rd has given, to be clear, I’m not referencing Brittany. I’m glad that she can articulate her affection for our bigs, but I’m most grateful that through Cinco Celebration we can describe God’s divine love for our family and for others. Indeed, the best part of our story is that it lends to sharing His! We have been able to table with seekers and saints alike to talk about the Father’s amazing love for us - how He has chosen us to carry His name forward, not because He had to, not because He was obligated, but because He is rich in mercy and full of grace. We’ve been privileged to share that though the world left us to fend for ourselves, abandoned and alone, Christ came that we might find our true haven of rest in Him. Despite being deceived and despised, betrayed and bequeathed nothing more than the grave, Jesus intervened and the Light interrupted the dark. Yes, He did the most unimaginable thing.

Despite being absent so much as a single righteous strand, Christ Jesus chose us. He picked us not because of our potential, our accomplishments, our deeds, or because of our dedication to work really hard to be better. In fact, we were steeped in our sin. Weak, ungodly, rebellious, enemies of God is exactly what we were. Like a child sitting in his own filth, we desperately needed a new garment, yet we were completely incapable of making the necessary change. We were not told to get cleaned up first - “Hey, go bathe and I might come back.” There was no requirement to shower and shave and shine up our shoes. No, Jesus gently reached down and made our dead hearts beat; He opened our blind eyes to see; He robed us in His righteousness and spoke the most precious word when He said, “Mine!” Our souls cried out as those filled with joy unspeakable and full of glory. Though once alienated from God, stuck in the disgust of sin, our Savior now calls us friend, co-heir. The Spirit calls us His temple, and the Father irrevocably calls us His sons and daughters.

What an amazing gift! Such an unmerited treasure is this! It does not eliminate all of life’s hurt and difficulty in the present. There is a baggage that comes with being abandoned. But to be sure, there is healing and hope in adoption. This year we will party as a family of 6 (as Charlotte is nearly 8 months old), and who knows, perhaps the Lord will numerically grow us to 7 or 8 or 9 (just kidding B)? However, May 23rd will always be known as our Cinco Celebration because we are remembering something much bigger than our little family, we are recalling how Jesus’ cross has made us part of His.

Matt Fowler
Associate Pastor of Missions & Students
matt@nbchurch.info
@fattmowler