This past weekend I had the honor of
officiating my sister-in-law's wedding. I knew there was some likelihood it
could be a tad emotional for me. I mean, I had looked over my notes a couple times;
I had read my lines about being a protective big brother; and I had already thought
about seeing her exchange vows with Matt. So yeah, I knew I my eyes could moisten, but I also knew what to
expect - prelude, processional, handoff of bride from father to groom, prayer,
and on with the rest of the show. I could handle it. I'd be fine, I thought. However, I hadn't considered
the actual weight that would accompany each of those moments, nor had I
imagined going through the experience with my wife (one of the best ladies)
standing right next to me. I had read the order of service on paper, rehearsed
it a few times with the wedding party the night before, but it was far more
than I had anticipated.
As Allie and my father-in-law, Brian, started
walking down the aisle, I was overcome with emotion. It was like it was
happening in slow motion because I could simultaneously see backwards and
forwards, all while being presently engaged. The bride’s entrance was a
beautiful one. Allie looked gorgeous as ever and Brian was beaming with pride,
as they progressed toward the altar through the glowing warmth of the quickly
setting winter sun. No sooner had they come into sight than my wife was moved
to tears. By the time they made it halfway to the front, most of the family had
followed suit. But that was just a third of what I saw.
As Allie made the journey toward her guy, that
sweet procession that every girl dreams of one day enjoying, my mind went back
to my wedding day. I remembered seeing Brittany as she entered through the back
of the worship center. She absolutely took my breath away! She was crying tears
of joy then too. And the same dad was walking her down. When I watched Brian pass
Allie off to her groom this past Saturday, I recalled asking for his blessing to
marry his daughter. I remember the anxiety I had in the moment, but knowing
that every nervous feeling I’d endure was worth it for my girl. As I soaked up
the scene before me, I also reflected on some precious memories from the past.
Yet that was not all; I had a chance to peek into the future. Although
I’ve done other weddings in recent years, for the first time ever, it really
hit me… The day is coming for me too. If the Lord wills and tarries long enough,
I will give a daughter away (and maybe two). My wife and I have two precious
little girls – one that’s not as tiny as the other. Though my wife and I joke
about them being 30 before they can date (I’m actually about halfway serious),
we know that the day will be here before we know it. And if that is indeed the
case, what can we do to make that day as precious as possible?
Now, I may need to clarify. I’m not talking
about venues, music, bridesmaid dresses, catering, or any of the like. I mean
this: How can we prepare our girls to position themselves for God’s favor? The
decisions they will make, the way the live their life, the things they live
for, they experiences that they have between now and then – all of it will
ultimately influence the future. Are we readying them for their future? I know
we are enjoying them now, but are we truly leading them today, with days ahead
in mind? Again, this is not to say that the end goal is that they marry well.
Far from it! Are we equipping them to be obedient in fulfilling the story God
has written for them? His mission is clear – be a disciple that makes disciples
– to know the God of the gospel and make Him known to all peoples. But, is it
clear to our children?
One of the ways I am to lead my wife and our
children, is to position them for success. And since I’m writing in an affluent
American context, dear reader, you must know that this is not a reference to
academic, financial, or athletic acclaim, “success”. As my wife asks her small
group girls regularly, are we positioned beneath the waterfall of His grace?
Are we walking by faith? Are we moving forward in obedience? Are we warring
against the flesh? Are we living for His glory and renown? If so, then we are
in a place the Lord will bless. Bless with the accomplishing of His mission. So
when we consider how we parent and our idea of success, our desire ought to be
to know, grow, and protect our child’s heart, not their financial future. If
the heart is right (seeking first His kingdom and His righteousness), the right
kind of success will come (His glory) and all these other things will be added
in due time.
Wow, you got all that from the bridal
procession? Yeah, I did. That and I’ve had some time to reflect upon it. Our
daughters (sons too) will be responsible to what they do with this gospel they’ve
been given. But the sobering reality is that B and I have the blessed
opportunity to help them find the inexpressible value of our risen Savior,
starting right now. Oh that we will play our part well, ultimately entrusting
our kiddos to their perfect heavenly Father.
There are no timeouts in life. As that lousy
soap opera taught us, the world just keeps on turning. We can pretend that we
have lots of time and imagine that things will work themselves out. But then
again, that seems to go against the experience that most people describe. “Where did the time go?” “Seemed like they
were just a kid and now they’re all grown up.” This may be one of those
blogs that is just for me. And if so, that’s fine, because I need to think
deeply on this topic. But maybe this is a gracious reminder for you as well. Many
things are coming… If the Lord permits, our children will grow up and
eventually leave the house. Are we preparing them well? Will we be ready to launch them out? But guess what else. Unless Jesus returns, we will all most assuredly taste death. Are we ready for that? How about the judgment that will follow? We can ignore these things if we like, but it will not keep them from coming. May we
meet all such future certainties confident in Christ and with gratitude, not regret.
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| Matt Fowler Associate Pastor of Missions & Students matt@nbchurch.info @fattmowler |
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