You're watching that!?

I have a little secret.  Some know it but most probably don't know how deep it goes.  It's something I have been involved in for sometime.  I've read about it, study it and have spent countless hours participating in it... I love movies!  And not like, "Hey, I enjoy a good flick every now and then" but like I have watched all 100 of the AFI's top movies (both lists), have seen every Academy award winning Best Picture and most of the 'Best Picture' nominees from each year.  Though many like going to movies to be entertained I go to experience the art... the emotion, the story telling, the dialogue and the cinematography.  I love it anytime someone can tell you a story and draw you so far in you cry, are angry or laugh so hard you can't breath when they are finished.  But I also love critically thinking about what the director was trying to convey and seeing if that "truth" is applicable to my life.  It's been my experience that most folks don't know why movies receive ratings they have or process the intent of movies very often.  For most individuals movies are just fun or about a plot they were drawn to.  I'm not saying it's wrong to go to a movie for purely entertainment reasons... that's why we have Marvel!  I just thought I would explain the ratings, show you a couple resources so you can be ahead of the curve and tell you about our 'Reel Time' event happening this summer at NBHighSchool.

So where do they get those ratings?

MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America) is a group that pushes movies and technology forward through many different avenues but is most well known by the MPAA Rating System.  The rating system is voluntary for every film (though most theaters will not show a movie that hasn't received a rating) and decided by a group of 13 members from different backgrounds all with parenting experience to give a parent's perspective, crucial for the rating system.

Each movie is submitted by the production company, then reviewed by the MPAA board and issued a rating.  The production company then decides to release their film with the given rating or appeal the decision seeking a different rating (we have seen a rise in the winning of appeals in the past couple of years).

Current rating scales and reasons:

G — General Audiences. All Ages Admitted. A G-rated motion picture contains nothing in theme, language, nudity, sex, violence or other matters that, in the view of the Rating Board, would offend parents whose younger children view the motion picture. The G rating is not a "certificate of approval," nor does it signify a "children’s" motion picture. Some snippets of language may go beyond polite conversation but they are common everyday expressions. No stronger words are present in G-rated motion pictures. Depictions of violence are minimal. No nudity, sex scenes or drug use are present in the motion picture.

PG — Parental Guidance Suggested. Some Material May Not Be Suitable For Children. A PG-rated motion picture should be investigated by parents before they let their younger children attend. The PG rating indicates, in the view of the Rating Board, that parents may consider some material unsuitable for their children, and parents should make that decision. The more mature themes in some PG-rated motion pictures may call for parental guidance. There may be some profanity and some depictions of violence or brief nudity. But these elements are not deemed so intense as to require that parents be strongly cautioned beyond the suggestion of parental guidance. There is no drug use content in a PG-rated motion picture.

PG-13 — Parents Strongly Cautioned. Some Material May Be Inappropriate For Children Under 13. A PG-13 rating is a sterner warning by the Rating Board to parents to determine whether their children under age 13 should view the motion picture, as some material might not be suited for them. A PG-13 motion picture may go beyond the PG rating in theme, violence, nudity, sensuality, language, adult activities or other elements, but does not reach the restricted R category. The theme of the motion picture by itself will not result in a rating greater than PG-13, although depictions of activities related to a mature theme may result in a restricted rating for the motion picture. Any drug use will initially require at least a PG-13 rating. More than brief nudity will require at least a PG-13 rating, but such nudity in a PG-13 rated motion picture generally will not be sexually oriented. There may be depictions of violence in a PG-13 movie, but generally not both realistic and extreme or persistent violence. A motion picture’s single use of one of the harsher sexually-derived words, though only as an expletive, initially requires at least a PG-13 rating. More than one such expletive requires an R rating, as must even one of those words used in a sexual context. The Rating Board nevertheless may rate such a motion picture PG-13 if, based on a special vote by a two-thirds majority, the Raters feel that most American parents would believe that a PG-13 rating is appropriate because of the context or manner in which the words are used or because the use of those words in the motion picture is inconspicuous.

R — Restricted. Children Under 17 Require Accompanying Parent or Adult Guardian. An R-rated motion picture, in the view of the Rating Board, contains some adult material. An R-rated motion picture may include adult themes, adult activity, hard language, intense or persistent violence, sexually-oriented nudity, drug abuse or other elements, so that parents are counseled to take this rating very seriously. Children under 17 are not allowed to attend R-rated motion pictures unaccompanied by a parent or adult guardian. Parents are strongly urged to find out more about R-rated motion pictures in determining their suitability for their children. Generally, it is not appropriate for parents to bring their young children with them to R-rated motion pictures.

NC-17 — No One 17 and Under Admitted. An NC-17 rated motion picture is one that, in the view of the Rating Board, most parents would consider patently too adult for their children 17 and under. No children will be admitted. NC-17 does not mean "obscene" or "pornographic" in the common or legal meaning of those words, and should not be construed as a negative judgment in any sense. The rating simply signals that the content is appropriate only for an adult audience. An NC-17 rating can be based on violence, sex, aberrational behavior, drug abuse or any other element that most parents would consider too strong and therefore off-limits for viewing by their children.

Great resources for parents and others to research each movie before going:

- IMDb (See: "Parents Guide" midway down on any specific movie selected)

- Plugged In (See: "Movie Nights" in the top right corner)

- Screen It (Unfortunately not free anymore but far more detailed than Plugged In)

- The Source for Parents (Great free spot for lots of resources including movie reviews)

Beginning next week (June 4^th) our annual summer program (Reel Time) is back!!  Every Wednesday night we will watch a great movie in its entirety, starting at our normal time of 6:30p but extending our evening by thirty minutes to accommodate the post-movie discussion for the summer (9:00p).  Statistics say, “90% of teenagers spend 20-40 hours a week in front of a screen…” That is a lot of time watching movies, television and videos!  While most kids simply ‘check their brains at the door,’ Reel Time wants to help teens think through movies.  We are proud to announce that this summer we have selected a batch of “old” movies, our hope is to create some excitement for great films and probably movies most of our students have never seen.

Details I want everyone to be aware of:

-   The Goal: Help teens develop skills to watch movies with a filter (helping them spot the lies Hollywood is trying to sell them as well as find redeeming qualities to share their faith with others)

-      Every Wednesday this summer (June 4^th – Aug. 13^th), in the Loft (the 4^th floor of New Beginnings: 4104 East 151^st Street South) starting at 6:30pm-9:00p (Doors open at 6p)!!

-       Please feel welcome to attend any or all of the movies with us this summer (We have couches J)!!

-       Here’s this summer’s movies and their main discussion points:

o   12 Angry Men (Judgment)

o   A Place in the Sun (Image)

o   Chariots of Fire (Commitment)

o   Dead Poets Society (Pressure)

o   Elephant Man (Acceptance)

o   Going My Way (Calling)

o   Patch Adams (Passion)

o   Pleasantville (Youth Culture)

o   Shane (Sacrifice)

o   Simon Birch (Purpose)

o   Quiz Show (Integrity)

*These films will be viewed through our ClearPlay unit (www.clearplay.com)

**There will be a weekly sheet covering the plot of the film & follow-up quetsions

We understand that movies are possibly a major issue in your home.  Please pray that our time would be effective in supporting what you are already teaching at home and that God would use this as another way to train students in finding real Truth. 

The Bergs

**Follow Jeff (Family Pastor of High School), also known as "surgeberg" on: Facebook, Twitter & Instagram

Rest

This week I’m trying to do something I battle with on a regular basis. 

“Hello. My name is Sankie. I struggle with true rest.” 

Sometimes we're so "squeezed" by other forces
 that we miss out on true rest. 

There. I’ve said it. I’ve come out publicly. It is a condition worthy of having a support group for. This group I’m in has reached epidemic proportions. 

But I’m trying to truly REST this week. Rest is a God-ordained part of our life experience. God made us to not only require, but enjoy true rest. 

After God made everything and declared it, “very good,” He then rested on the seventh day. That does not mean that God is like us requiring rest, because God tells us in several places that, in fact, He is not like us in this way, and does not require rest from being physically, emotionally, or mentally tired. Clearly, He is not like us in this way. He is transcendently above and different from us in that manner. He does not require the same type of rest. 

So why does God “rest” after creation? Rest is a beautiful thing that God ordained. God even joined us in His own form of rest after creation. The Sabbath day of rest was not supposed to be an adult “time out” for playing too hard. It was not to keep us from being so egotistically-pursuit-driven that God had to put a leash on us. That may be a ripple effect of God’s intention of rest, but God gave rest as a good thing to pause, slow down, contemplate the graces and gifts He’s given (no matter your current circumstances) to look back at what He has provided and to look forward in anticipation of what He is doing currently and in the future. Rest points us back to God’s goodness and faithfulness. 

Ultimately, our true “Rest” is found in the Person of Christ. We are to “rest” in the faithful provision of what Jesus did on the cross instead of striving to “do” or “be” good enough to make it to God. We could never have made it to God on our own effort. So God’s message to us is “cease striving in your own efforts towards me and instead rest in the work Christ did in His life, death, and resurrection.” Jesus Christ is our ultimate rest. 

So how faithful are we at rest? 

• When I say I struggle with true rest, I do not mean I don’t get plenty of rest at night. I sleep heavily through the night and feel rested every morning. I probably don’t worry about things enough! (just kidding-worry is not good for those who struggle with it)

• I don’t struggle with email controlling me. I probably don’t spend enough time checking email. 

• I don’t struggle with ignoring my wife or children for sports, television, internet, hobbies, or my schoolwork. 

• I don’t struggle with the calendar controlling me or having to fill it with events to make me feel like I’m being productive. 

I struggle with laying down things during scheduled “restful” times like vacation. As we were sitting at the lake this weekend, I found myself thinking about a list of “to-do” items for work that still need to get done. I was thinking about the many dads and families I could be getting to know better. I was thinking about the list of details for our upcoming summer events. I was thinking about the one last assignment for seminary with four large book reports due next week. I was thinking about gearing up for the fall. 

STOP! You’re supposed to be resting. Enjoying God’s beautiful creation of simple things surrounding me like trees, hills, cliffs, the lake. Most importantly enjoying God’s most gracious gifts of Jamie, the boys, and other family members. God has placed beautiful objects of grace around me that I am to enjoy during restful times and busy times. But especially when “work” is off schedule. 

• We have purposefully, as a family, not overloaded our summer schedule with too much of anything. We are not doing any sports or classes over the summer. Just family time. We are not trying to be at every event in the surrounding area. Just family time. 

And that is not to impress you. It is actually showing a fault that I believe many of us succumb to in “doing” so much. That is to show how intentional we have to be in our current culture to make sure we are breathing deeply the air God has given right now. Just like you, we feel the pressure of schedules and calendars. And for us at this time in life, with the boys at their current ages, it’s just going by so incredibly fast. So shifting down into first gear may bring us the type of rest God intended. I believe with rest we discover a type of appreciation, enjoyment, relaxation, thankfulness, and contemplation that we may easily miss if we keep running in busyness. 

• When was the last time your family slowed down and truly just enjoyed time together without “doing” anything? 
• Do you feel a constant pressure to be doing more stuff to keep up in life? 
• Do you feel like there is always a few more things you wish you could accomplish each week? 
• Do you see others and wonder how they get so much accomplished in the same 24 hours? 
• Do you feel like you’re spread so thin in a hundred ways that you’re at about 30% efficiency on all of them instead of 90% efficiency in just a few? 
• Does your times of rest (weekend, vacation) end up tiring you and wearing you out more than your work week? 

Sometimes we’re afraid that we won’t accomplish all we’re supposed to. Sometimes all the leadership books have us convinced that we’re going to miss out on our full potential for success. Sometimes we’re afraid others will see us resting and think that we’re just being lazy compared to them. All of those fall under the idol of “pleasing man.” The Bible is very clear about the issue of man-pleasing versus living to please God (which includes rest!). We are so concerned about what others (and ourselves) think of us that we keep up our busy fragmented shuffles each week. Those weeks turn into months. The months turn into years. And before long, we’ve  missed out on enjoying and contemplating deeply all God had intended around us. 

When all of those “must-do” tasks creep into my mind, I am trying to let go of them and the pressure they bring. I am asking God to give me greater enjoyment of each day and more specifically the people He has placed around me each day. 

How are you doing with God’s desire for you to experience true Biblical rest? 

If you’re like me, the answer is not in creating a new four step plan or strategy for implementing more rest (that’s less rest and more work doing that task), but instead, confess this type of striving to God. Ask Him to forgive you for not experiencing and enjoying His idea of rest. And ask Him for the grace to enjoy both hard work and blissful rest on a regular basis. Ask Him to give you wisdom to areas of your life where you are overextended and overcommitted. Ask Him to give you trust that your family and the your children will be just fine in life without having to compete with everyone else’s pace of life. Let the gospel bring restoration and rest back to your life!

Sankie P. Lynch

Pastor of Families

www.nbchurch.info

www.nbfamilies.info

sankie@nbchurch.info

A suggestion for this holiday...

While weekly I attempt to consider a broader audience than myself, it seems the topic of each blog tends to be aimed primarily at me. Whether I’m writing to challenge or hoping to communicate with a more encouraging tone, each time the main idea seems to hit me squarely where I am. I find that writing on Mondays often allows me to try to process through my thoughts as I work to express them to others. With that being said, please note that today is not much different.

As we were driving home late last night from a weekend (actually a week) full of several activities and memorable experiences, I realized that I was simply overwhelmed. We had so much that happened this past week. There were some big events, lots of rich conversations, many moments to be treasured, several funny things that happened, and so many opportunities for improvement that we were made aware of along the way. While I look forward to sharing some stories from this past week with you in the near future, the best thing I can do right now, the best thing my family can do is this: stop and allow for some time to process together.

It is pretty rare to have a Monday off. It is far less common for all of us to be home together on a day where we have no official plans. So with that in mind, I think we are going to rest today. We are going to attempt to relax and consider some of the special ways the Lord has recently blessed us. In addition, we will try to talk about what we've learned and then discuss how we can grow from our mistakes.

As I mentioned before, this may just be for my family and I. If so, that is fine because presently, this is what we need to do. However, perhaps some similar contemplation would be of value for you on this holiday as well. Consider the ways that the Lord is currently at work in your life… What message is He communicating to your heart? What is He leading you into? Is He calling you away from something? In this moment, do you recognize that God is near or does He somehow feel distant? Better question: Why do you think that is?

Whatever it is that you wind up doing on this day, I pray it may be restful and worshipful for you and yours. Might the presence of the Divine fill you with the peace and rest that only He can provide. As many passages come to mind this morning, I’ll close with the Lord’s reminder from the psalms…

“Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 (a)

Even on our days off...especially on our days off...may we think on His goodness towards us and seek to make much of Him...

matt@nbchurch.info     Twitter: @FattMowler     Facebook: TheFattMowler

Bible-lite Families

The bible isn’t popular. Most families ignore it. Some families neglected it. The result of years of biblical ignorance is disastrous. The culture mocks truth. The bible is shunned as irrelevant. Uninformed voices ridicule a bible they do not know. The culture listens unaware that God has revealed Himself through these ancient words.

Avoiding the bible is understandable. Parents who feel limited in their knowledge of the bible don’t wish to display their ignorance so they, perhaps unintentionally, steer clear of opportunities that make themselves appear unaware. Our children observe what is important to us. Our kid’s impulses are inclined toward what we parents value – right on wrong. Our kid’s instinctively embrace what we parents, those in whom they love and trust more than anyone else, hold closely to our hearts.

If the bible isn’t popular in our homes, if the bible isn’t popular with our friends, if the bible isn’t popular in our schools, if the bible isn’t popular in our neighborhoods and communities, then what the church says will not matter much to our kids.

Sadly, even in some churches there has developed an impatience with the Word of God. People are not inclined to take their kids someplace if their kids will protest enough (whine, dawdle, cry, or defiance). Most kids will protest a bible class or lesson if they can find a church that has fun games or inflatable toys. It follows that churches are competing for a dwindling number of people who will attend. In an effort to draw a crowd and satisfy appetites, they will sacrifice the bible. We are feeding our hunger for amusement and starving our souls from truth.

THIS IS A DANGEROUS PLACE.

A disciple’s guide is the Bible. The Bible is God’s standard for truth. It was Jesus’ prayer for his followers that they would be transformed by the truth.

If we are impatient with the one resource that will help us discover soul satisfaction, the Word of God, then our futures are in peril and our souls will remain chaotic. Dallas Willard has written,

“The single most obvious traits of those who profess Christ but do not grow into Christ-likeness is their refusal to take the reasonable time and tested measures for spiritual growth.”

Here are a few ways that we can demonstrate to our kids that the bible is essential:

1. Engaging in hearing the Bible preached (Romans 10:13-15). .
2. Reading the Bible (Nehemiah 8:8; )
3. Studying the Bible (John 5:39; Acts 17:11.)
4. Memorizing the Bible (Joshua 1:8; Psalms 119:9-11)
5. Meditating upon the Scriptures (1 John 2:14)
6. Obeying the Bible (Psalm 119:98-100)

Hearing preaching, reading, studying, memorizing, meditating, and obeying the Word of God are the ways that the truth of God was learned in the bible. Sadly, in today’s culture, Sundays are a good day for a family to plan events; baseball, softball, soccer, lacrosse, team tournaments, week-end get-aways, etc.. To excel in a team sport it is expected that we will involve our kids in competitive leagues not matter the cost. Further, the frantic pace that some families keep racing to the next important event only allows Sunday for rest. Bible time, church, cooperate worship is too easily sacrificed.

Digital technology - social media, TV, movies, video games, internet activities are prevalent in the lives of our kids. A verbal discussion about an unknown biblical story, truth, or precept requires more difficult mental investment. It is hard to focus when video images and visual pleasure has become the norm. Although there in nothing inherently evil about kid’s sports, family weekend time, or digital technology it is easy to see how a kid can learn that the bible isn’t popular or essential.

Yet, look at the promises about the bible

• John 17:17;
• 1 Peter 2:2-3;
• 2 Timothy 3:16-17;
• James 1:22-25;
• Psalms 119:9-11;
• Psalms 119:103-105;
• Hebrews 4:12;
• Joshua1:8;
• Psalm 1:1-3

Our children need to see the bible matters to their parents. There are many ways for our kids to observe in us how and why the bible is essential. The question is, “Will we parents make an effort to prove it?”

Dr. Phil Sallee, Pastor
twitter.com/philsallee
facebook.com/phil.sallee
philsallee.info
nbchurch.info
nbfamilies.info

Does your child or student have empathy?

Parents, are you seeing a lack of empathy in your teens or young adults? What kind of culture and society would we be living in where people don't care about others or are emotionally detached? Desensitized? Is that how Jesus would want us to act toward others? It sure would make life easier to not have to worry about the poor, the homeless, the suffering, the abused, the kidnapped sex slaves, the orphans, the single parents, the widowed, the divorced, the unbelievers who need to hear the Gospel message. If this is the direction our culture is headed it makes me wonder how I will be treated by our culture as I get to retirement age. Doctors with no empathy. Nurses with no empathy. Hospital administrators with no empathy. Politicians and lawmakers with no empathy. Lawyers, judges and justices with no empathy. Can you say death panels anyone? Could that be a possibility in a culture with no empathy?

Parents and grandparents, we are raising the next generation. Check out the unintended consequences below in Tim Elmore's blog called "Teamwork and Today's Student Athlete". It touches on the topic of empathy and how it has changed dramatically in college students over the past ten years.

"As we keep our ear to the ground, we continue to hear reports that emotional intelligence—and specifically empathy—is spiraling downward among kids. The sociology department at the University of Michigan, led by Dr. William Axinn at the Population Studies Center, tells us that college students today are approximately 40% less empathetic than they were just ten years ago. That’s quite a drop. I find it strange that in a generation more connected than ever, young adults find it increasingly difficult to feel compassion toward each other. Instead, ours is a time of self-expansion, where parents condition their kid to watch out for themselves, get as much playing time as possible, and do whatever you have to do to get ahead. Although they’re playing a “team sport,” there’s less empathy for others.

Why is that?


Let me remind you of the realities in their world.
1. Screen Time
As screen time goes up, empathy goes down. Follow it. You will find that the more a student is in front of a video, computer or phone screen, their level of empathy for people drops. Cognitive understanding is at an all-time high, but to feel the pain of others emotionally may just be at an all-time low.
You’re response: Balance screen time with face-to-face time and explain it. For each hour your kids spend on a screen, they should spend equal time with people.
2. Information Overload
Between commercial messages, texts, emails, Facebook posts, Instagrams, YouTube videos, and more, a student today receives about 1,000 messages every day. It’s too much information, and as a result, students are forced to develop filters in their brains to screen out data. Sadly, content that is emotionally expensive often doesn’t make the cut.
You’re response: Talk about this reality with your students and let them “own” how they filter out unessential information in order to digest what really matters.
3. Responsible Behavior
Kids have grown up in a world where mistakes or tragedy they witness often doesn’t carry consequences. They see a friend commit a crime, or cheat on a test, but get off easy. They see people get shot on TV or on a violent video game but it doesn’t mean anything. This desensitizes kids and makes them emotionally uninvolved.
Your response: The next time a student fails, be sure they feel the consequences. It’s a reality check. Talk over the long-term, unintended price tag of failure.
4. Virtual Reality.
I’ve said this for years. Students have lots of experiences, but many are virtual. To witness something on a YouTube video that lasts two minutes and can be shut off just doesn’t enlist the emotions of a viewer. It’s a squirt of data. Herbert Simon said, “A wealth of information creates a poverty of attention.”
You’re response: Take your students to experience poverty or disease in a homeless shelter or a cancer ward. In the end, there’s nothing like “touching the real thing” to cultivate empathy.
5. Role Models.
Sometimes, students fail to develop empathy because they see a generation of adults lead with a jaded, cynical attitude. We are all wary of being taken advantage of or being conned, so we keep our guard up. Because we don’t want to be “victims,” we prevent ourselves from feeling what true victims feel.
Your response: Be intentional about talking over current events, like school shootings or victims of natural disasters, and share your feelings about them. Model empathy.

Terry Langenberg
Twitter: TheLangenberg
Facebook: TheLangenberg

Why are so many kids hurting themselves?

10 things… You Should Know About Teens & Tweens

Harmful Behaviors

The Big behaviors I see or hear about often…

-       Self-Mutilation: Cutting, burning, etc.

o   Cutting & Burning were the highest Harmful Behavior in Teens in Youth Group in Washington County in 2009 (right at 30% of “churched” teens)

-       Disorders: Eating, OCD, Bipolar, Depression, etc.

o   Don’t over react but get professional help… See Resources: Phone Numbers

-       Suicide

o   QPR Training (Don’t be afraid to ask… You’re not bringing it into their mind)

§  Question… the person about suicide

§  Persuade… the person to get help

§  Refer… the person to the appropriate resource

*Also Drugs & Sex are very harmful behaviors used to cope…covered previously

The Big questions Teens & Tweens ask…

-       Who am I??

-       I don’t like who I am…I need to fit in!!

-       What does this all mean…where can I get answers??

What can we do… www.parenting.org

-       Don’t…

o   React with anger. 

o   Go into denial about the problem. 

o   Assume this is a "phase" your teen will outgrow. 

o   Say "What did I do wrong as a mother (father) for you to do this to yourself." 

o   Ask "Why are you doing this to yourself?" 

-       Do…

o   Admit you and your child needs help. 

o   LISTEN!!!

o   Take problems very seriously. (Cutting: is not just attention-seeking behavior)

o   Be completely supportive. 

o   Discuss and seek out treatment for you and your child

Here's a couple websites that are helpful for Teens:

-       www.twloha.com

-       www.fox.com/pause

-       www.teenshealth.org

Feeling crazy!?  Here's a couple movies that will give you a glimpse into their world: