Hidden Rites of Passage 2 (Little Boys)

Two proud brothers with the "king for the day!" 

There are certain “Rites of Passage” that happen spontaneously and there are some that happen that take a lot of intentional preparation and purposeful engagement. The former are, like I said, more spontaneous in nature. They pop up unexpectedly, but are great moments to seize in pointing hearts to something larger than the specific unexpected situation. 

The latter are things we, as parents, can do to point our children to a greater good, a spiritual component that the Bible clarifies as being of eternal weight and glory. Some of the more intentional “rites” can be a series of processes or events. We refer to them as “Milestones” at New Beginnings. Some of our Milestones for the parents and families in Genesis Kidz are Parent/Child Dedication, Blessings, and Cultivating Faith. 

This weekend, Jack experienced one of those rites of passage that every parent and grandparent loves watching—catching his first fish! 

Words cannot convey the amount of energy, focus, determination, precision, and frantic oversight that goes into helping three little Lynch boys with long rods in their hands wielding sharp hooks on the edge of a body of water. 

But here's the breakdown:

1. I throw out Sankie’s line first (15 ft of weeds to throw over/not good practice area) in hopes he wouldn’t reel it in quickly before I even get Owen and Javi’s bait wet. 
2. I move over 20 feet and throw in Owie’s line. Two down…one to go. But this is no ordinary third step. This is Jackson!
3. I move over 20 feet and throw in Javi’s line. 
4. Sankie has already reeled his into the weeds and is hung up as I set Javi’s handle and tell him to hold on tight, watch his bobber, and start turning the handle if it goes under. 
5. As I’m moving over to Sankie’s and start to reel his through the weeds—Jack yells, “Daddy, mine bobba went down, mine bobba went down, it’s gone!”
6. Sankie runs over to Javi and starts helping him hold the rod while Javi reels it in. I thought, there’s no way—it’s been less than a minute. 
7. Owen drops his pole to the ground and runs over also. (Not proper etiquette to drop your poles and run when someone else catches a fish!)
8. Sure enough, Javi had landed his first fish—a little perch. (He called it a whale; Owen was happy because it wasn’t a “bass mouth” like he was going to catch). 
9. We coaxed Jack into holding the line as I took their picture—until the fish flopped and then he swore “it tried to bite me, Daddy!” So he wouldn’t hold it after that until I was taking it off and let all of them touch it. 

Jack's "look of concern." It tried to BITE him--he said. 

So we’ve all heard the famous story about a guy who told his friends to cast their empty nets to the other side of the boat and they ended up damaging their nets because of the miraculous catch. Later He would tell them, “I will make you fishers of men.” 

So wouldn’t this be a great moment to get the boys attention and teach a great lesson calling them to truly think through living their lives for something larger than a single lifetime—but to instead surrender to Jesus’ command to use their lives to make disciples of all nations? Wouldn’t this be a great fit for that? 

Well, it didn’t happen that way. 

This is another tribute to good intentions that may have ended up lost in translation (and chaos!). After Jack caught his little perch, the other boys were hopping and yelling—ready and positive that they were going to catch lots of more fish in the next few minutes. I was trying to tell them to wait so I could tell them a little story—but after we let the fish go they were all  screaming, “mine first, daddy, mine first…Jack’s already caught one…mine first!” Now it was three boys with hooks and poles swinging in the air in their own attempts to get the next fish. 

So as I barely told them about Jesus’ famous story they were more captivated, at that moment, with the opportunity to catch all the fish (that was the only one we caught). You may have a spontaneous circumstance that you try to use to turn into a God Moment (Faith Walk) too. Don’t feel bad when your attempt at drawing in spiritual relevance doesn’t pan out. Keep looking for opportunities and point them to God’s gracious intervention in all manners of life—and most exceptionally His intervention through His own Son. 

So, Jack walked away with the single catch and beat all of us in fishing on that beautiful day (when the little guy finally wins in anything you let him and the others know!). But there will be other days and hopefully other fish. And I hope they do consider that God allows some of those events to remind us of something larger to live for—something of eternal weight and significance. I pray, by God’s grace that they do not deserve, they will all be captivated in becoming fishers of men no matter what they do in life. 

But on that day, I think God enjoyed allowing a three year-old to smile with excitement and  and jump up and down and give his dad a great high-five knowing he had beat us all and learned a little more about life and God’s creation in this small rite of passage. 

Sankie P. Lynch

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sankie@nbchurch.info

And down the stretch they come...

With news this morning that CALIFORNIA CHROME will be allowed to wear a nasal strip at Belmont and thus make an attempt for the coveted Triple Crown, I decided to blog in the spirit of the season. Today I will attempt to describe the pressures that vie for our time and illustrate them by narrating our daily race. It’s a far cry from the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness, or the Belmont Stakes, but I think it might just sound something like this…

"And they’re off… LATE FOR WORK is out of the gates first with CATCH THE BUS and REMEMBER TO SMILE quickly there to challenge this early pace… Around the clubhouse turn and it’s still LATE FOR WORK out front but DAILY GRIND is steadily moving up to lead the trailing pack… Pushing down the backstretch, it’s DAILY GRIND now neck and neck with INTENTIONAL LIVING who has “the look of eagles.” INTENTIONAL LIVING appears to be moving for inside position but after an hour of emails and an unexpected lunch meeting, INTENTIONAL LIVING is slowly losing steam. DAILY GRIND is still the frontrunner with 3 furlongs to go… Now charging up on the outside is FORGOT ABOUT PRACTICE and WHAT'S FOR DINNER. FAMILY DEVO has now completely dropped out of the picture and ATLEAST I TRIED is holding on to the dream of finishing in the money. At the quarter pole it is still a close one but out of nowhere TIRED & FRUSTRATED, jockeyed by Poor Self-Discipline and owned by Trouble Saying No, is now blazing toward the front. INTENTIONAL LIVING has "spit the bit" and been passed by NOBODY’S HAPPY… Now at the quarter pole and it’s still very much up in the air. Not sure how it will finish, but certainly not the way anyone expected at post… And down the stretch they come!! It’s TIRED & FRUSTRATED!! It’s DAILY GRIND!! NOBODY’S HAPPY is coming on strong!! It’s TIRED & FRUSTRATED, DAILY GRIND… And it’s NOBODY’S HAPPY at the wire!!! Holding off MOW THE LAWN for fourth is the "maiden" reminder DO IT AGAIN MANANA…"

Goofy guy is my step-dad John

I wish the across the board favorite was MAKING MUCH OF CHRIST. In light of the Gospel, it should be! Honestly, it would also be nice to see SPONTANEOUS FUN or ROMANTIC GETAWAY compete more often than they do. However, the reality is that like most people, we struggle with finding time to do all that we’ve signed-up for. I mean, we make it to most of our appointments, but not with the energy and attitude we had hoped to bring. We bite off more than we can chew and because of fatigue and lack of focus, we fail to follow through on our good intentions. I know I’ve addressed this topic before, yet I am learning that it is an area that must often be revisited. My hope is that we all might be reminded of the importance of finding rest and purpose in Him. Perhaps our moments of weariness will lead us back to running things by Him again. Maybe we can involve God in all our decisions – not just the “big” ones.

Colin

Here’s the deal… It is too late to be scratched from the contest. We are invested, enlisted, and the race is on. Because this chaotic race is a daily battle, we win some and we lose some. Certain days we rightly prioritize from wire to wire; we engage our family and co-workers with grace and truth. But then there are the other occasions where we never even make it out of the gates. During those times (the days we get skunked), it seems we often forget about what is really at stake.

This time of year means weddings and graduations. Just this weekend alone, we celebrated Senior Sunday at our church, watched my brother’s graduation, and attended the wedding of a young couple that grew up in our youth group. One day, however, it will not be for the commencement of a brother, but for a son. The wedding will not be for one of our former students but for one of our own children. Saturday we took some silly photos with the kids in my brother’s cap and gown. Although it was a relief to see that they are a few years away from filling it out, the slide show from the same ceremony reminded me that I used to think the same thing about Colin. Time flies and there will always be enough to do. How can we seek the Lord for strength to make the most of it? As we run this race, may we remember the prize we pursue and may we help point others to Him as well.

matt@nbchurch.info     Twitter: @FattMowler     Facebook: TheFattMowler

Anxious Achievement Addicts

What are our kids really learning when they observe us?

This week in the sermon series MINE: How Idols Kill Our Souls. We will be discussion the idol of success and achievement.

There may be no greater threat to the gospel of the kingdom of God than when we worship the idol of success and achievement.
This sermon will be presented on Senior Recognition Sunday. There is an obvious irony when taking note of the biblical warning against the idol of success and achievement on a Sunday where we recognize students for their achievements.

• Don’t we want our kids to make good grades?
• Don’t we want our kids to excel in athletics?
• Don’t we want our kid’s teachers to recognize their intelligence?
• Don’t we want our kids to graduate with honors?
• Aren’t we proud of our kids when they achieve a significant goal?

The answer to all of the above questions is, “Yes!” However, it is also true that we can become consumed, even obsessed, with our chase to become successful.

• How consumed we can be with what's on our report card?
• How enthusiastic we can be with what's on our resume?
• How obsessive we can be with who is in our social circle?
• How frenzied are you with are how you doing at work?
• How extreme are you with your job title?
• How inspired are you with how much money do you make?
• How obsessive are you with having been promoted recently?
• How extreme are you with gaining popularity and respect among your peers?
• How frenzied are you with living in a bigger home than you used to?
• How worried are you with living in the right house in the right neighborhood?
• Are your kids going to the right school?
• Are your kids performing in a superior way to your friend's kids?

The answer to these questions on the report card is always, "Never good enough." Someone is always doing a little better, at least according to the idol of success. Now again, we’re not saying that success and achievements are bad things. They can be great things. We must be warned that these good things, even great things, can become the most important, ultimate, false god things. Parents can inadvertently disciple their kids into becoming performance addicts with a people pleasing compulsion that will ruin them.
We all need teachers and coaches and mentors to help us grow and challenge us and help us reach our God-given potential. But the idol of success and achievement will tell you,

"If you're not building up your resume, if you're not growing up your reputation among your peers, your life is actually on the decline. You are actually moving from worth something to being worth less."

The result is we become driven to achieve more, gain more, accomplish more, and we can't see anything else to the point that we become achievement addicts and performance based junkies.
Like any kind of addiction, the achievement addiction always takes more from you than it gives. The marriage you put on the sidelines, the kids you don't have time for, the friends you never see, the God you hardly think of anymore, how much more are you going to lose to gain just an inch? How much more of what really counts in your life will you sacrifice at the idol of just a little more success?
Your kids are watching you to see what it really important. Jesus put it this way…

Mark 8:36-37 For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul (psuchEn)? 37 For what will a man give in exchange for his soul (psuchEs)?

This is a rhetorical question, but the answer should be obvious. It does you no good to gain the whole world, and forfeit your soul! It does you no good, but our obsession with achievement and gain for the sake of personal glory so that we might have the whole world in our own hands is just another sign that success and achievement has become an idol. In reaction to the reality of our success driven culture we must be intentional about combating the idol of success and achievement. Here are a few ideas that might help.

• Model genuine humility at home.
• Reward your kids modesty after an achievement is accomplished.
• Be ever thankful to God when anything in your family success.
• Give your kids an opportunity to be generous with there time, their and money.
• Resist the temptation to blame others when your kids are not successful.
• Be intentional and verbal about the things in life that matter: God’s goodness, His glory, His mercy, His Grace, etc.

Comment below on other ideas that will help combat the idol of success and achievement.

Dr. Phil Sallee, Pastor
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Modeling

No it's not what you are probably thinking. This blog will not be about discussing the models who are pictured in magazines or the TV show America's Next Top Model.

I'm going to be talking about another type of modeling. This is the definition of "to model" that I am going to be talking about today:"a standard to be imitated". Example, "she was my model for good scholarship"

 

Monica and I were very blessed to get some time off to spend with our family in Iowa over the last 10 days or so. My oldest daughter had her second child, a daughter. They named her Alissa Ann.

She is our beautiful baby grand-daughter and she is doing really well. My daughter also has a son, Urijah Daniel, who will turn 2 years old on Saturday. These are the many faces of Urijah.

Monica and I got the blessing of being able to sleep in the same bedroom as Urijah. Us with a Queen bed and a little toddler bed for Urijah. Every morning between 5:15am and 6:30am, Urijah would wake up. He would squirm and snort and humm at first and then he would begin to play in his bed. He would be tapping a toy on the wall, talking to himself, which was more like jabbering, etc.There was no way Nanna or Papa were going to get anymore sleep. As soon as he could hear us whisper to each other, or slightly pick our heads up to see what he was doing, there would be an immediate, high pitched, squealing, response from Uirjah: "Hi!", "Hi!", "Nanna, Papa!" "Hi!""Hiiii!!! Every time, every morning. First response, always the same. Always with a high pitch and always with excitement.He would proceed to get out of his bed and climb into the bed with us. No going back to sleep....it's time to get up!!!! Yayyyyy!

I was talking to Monica about our trip and how much joy there was in hearing such excitement coming from your grandson in the mornings. But then she reminded me of how over the past two years, whenever we have been there to visit, anytime my daughter Larissa would come home from work, she would greet Urijah with the same response: "Hiiiiiii", "Hi Urijah!!!" "Hi bud!". What was she doing when she did this? She was "modeling, a standard to be imitated." Not only was she doing this, but we also witnessed our son-in-law Brian doing the same thing, in the same manner, when he would come home from work. They were both "modeling" the excitement of a simple greeting. And yet, showing a little boy, how to greet someone and to be excited and happy to greet them. Wow. What a difference a simple greeting can make. What a difference this little boy, who is not even two years old yet, has now learned, by greeting someone he loves with joy and excitement.

Did my daughter spend time "teaching" Urijah the proper way to greet his grand-parents in the morning? No. She "modeled" it. There are many things that she is "teaching" Urijah all of the time, but there are also things that are being modeled, which are then "caught" and not "taught". 

What are the things that your children and grand-children are "catching" from you? No, I'm not talking about a cold or some infectious disease. What are you "modeling" for them? What is the "standard to be imitated" that you are setting as an example?

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 1:11 "Imitate me, as I also imitate Christ." 

 

Hebrews 13:7 says, "Remember your leaders who have spoken God’s word to you. As you carefully observe the outcome of their lives, imitate their faith." 

 

3 John 1:11 says, "Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. The one who does good is of God; the one who does evil has not seen God."

 

Let's continue to pay attention to what we are "modeling", setting a standard to be imitated. Let it be that of Christ and Christ alone for our children and grand-children

.

Terry Langenberg
Twitter: TheLangenberg
Facebook: TheLangenberg

So when will you talk about sex?

10 things… You Should Know About Teens & Tweens

Dating & Sex

-       “1 in 4 teens gets an STD before they head off to college” (NCPCF)

-       “1 in 3 teens experience some kind of abuse in their relationships” (dayoneny.org)

My thoughts on approaching the topic of Dating & Sex

-       Don’t “demonize” sex or over “glorify” it (trying to make it great & special)

-       Modeling healthy relationship with the opposite sex in front of teens (honor & service)

-       Teaching an “Others-Focused” approach to dating relationships (It’s not about you)

According to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy

-        Teens rated their parents as the most influential factor in their decisions about sex.

-        78% of all teens surveyed believed that teenagers should not be sexually active.

-        89% of those surveyed would advise their own brother, sister or friend not to have sex until at least finishing high school.

5 Tips when thinking through Teen Dating  (Adapted from Homeword.com)

-       Talk and set the rules for dating before it actually starts. Gather their opinions about such things as curfew, where and with who a date looks like, dealing with distractions.

-       Learn about their dating readiness by asking good questions: How do you know you can trust someone? How do you know when you like someone? Lust vs. Love?

-       Know when to listen and keep your opinions to yourself. An ill-timed negative comment about the current boyfriend/girlfriend could send your teen rushing back.

-       Offer your own teen dating stories, at a time when your child is receptive to hearing them. And be truthful. Let your child learn from your mistakes.

-       Listen to their stories. You may be naturally inclined to tune out the pre-teen saga of who said what to whom each day. But this is the way this age group communicates…

o   *Think about signing your pre-teen-ager up for self-defense or assertiveness training classes. Make sure they have the tools to stand up for themselves.

Legal definitions … The State Law (Oklahoma): http://www.lsb.state.ok.us

-       Consent for sex in Oklahoma is 16 & older, HOWEVER, only within two years apart

-       14 year olds and older can consent to testing, treatment, adoption, abortion, etc.

Couple quick thoughts about Sexual Orientation...

-       Be Safe: Express Warmth & Empathy (Regardless of your feelings!!)

-       Demonstrate unconditional love and acceptance 

-       Find some resources and ask for help from experienced leaders

Praise To My Wife On Mother’s Day

{ Here's Jamie this past Sunday with some one year-olds. We tried to build one of these contraptions for The Three Amigos (Lynch Boys)…but they gnawed through it in an hour. }

  I don’t usually go on Facebook to publicly praise my wife, flirt with her and tell her she’s beautiful, tell her she’s a great wife, or tell the world of some little thing she’s done. I try to do those things every day, not because I should do it to be a good husband—but because she really does do praiseworthy things (like dealing with three little “Mini-Me’s” capitalizing on my worst traits), because she’s still really hot to me (have you seen her?!!), because she patiently, humbly, and lovingly lives out the role of a Godly wife even though she’s living with a weird person like me (have you met me?) {Eph. 5:22-24}, and because she doesn’t need the praise of others to bring fulfillment.

  I had several calls, texts, and Facebook messages over the weekend letting us know that people were praying for Jamie and myself during this Mother’s Day weekend. They were all concerned about how difficult it might be for Jamie after losing the baby so recently. I wondered how she would do that morning and how she would do at church. We also had a Parent/Child Dedication that morning as one of our Milestones for parents. I wondered how she would handle the combination of Mother’s Day and several mothers with their beautiful little gifts from God being dedicated to God. As I was backstage with the parents getting them ready for this Milestone I was halted myself at these three precious little girls (which we had been hoping for!). 

  Jamie understands, though difficult at times, that she did nothing to deserve to lose a baby. And at the same time she knows she could do nothing to deserve to teach other’s children about the God who has saved her. 

       She did nothing to deserve saving grace. She was content serving herself when Christ pursued her and the Holy Spirit opened her eyes to see Him as supreme. She’s captivated by this Christ. He captured her heart another day of loss as she sat at her own sixteen-year-old brother’s funeral. She realized that day that it was not an option to live for herself and her own small pursuits in life—but to live for something much more grand and glorious. 

  I met Jamie one month after her brother lost his life to a drunk driver. We were at a campus ministry and she ended up standing next to me. As she stood in worship that night I had no idea of the recent loss to her family until afterwards. After that meeting, as I talked about her and her heart for worship, our mutual friend, Brittain, who introduced us, told me she had just lost her brother. Immediately I began to think through whether I would be worshiping like that if my teen sibling had been killed. Somehow, Christ sustains and secures a heart and stabilizes it in the middle of those times of sorrow, grief, and loss. That was one of the things that immediately attracted me to her--a heart of worship in a time when that heart could tend to be self-focused. 

• What might be the most difficult place for a mother to serve who had recently had a late miscarriage? Wouldn’t you want to keep her far away from the nursery or baby area? 

  Due to some people having to miss on Mother’s Day in order to spend time with their own families, we were a few people short in the preschool area. And as Providence would have it—Jamie found herself in the one year-old's class during our second service. As I walked by, I paused to watch her interacting with these little ones. 

  God has different plans many times in life. God knows intimately more about us and what we can handle. And God knows what can be allowed to bring healing when it seems like it might be a painful situation. People handle grief and loss differently. She handles it by depending on grace, on loan, from an all-sufficient Savior. 

• Here are some of the words from Proverbs 31 that I used on our wedding day that I thought fit her well. Since that time, others have also attributed these to her as well. 

(Prov. 31:25-31)

        "Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates."

        I believe these words of Scripture are not something we look to as standards that we try to muster up self-discipline in order to live out. That would be us being sufficient for our own Godliness. Instead, I believe God grants us these inner qualities as a person learns to look to Him repeatedly in difficult times and even painful situations. In this sense, we learn to be more dependent and praiseworthy towards Him instead of self-sufficient in dependence on our own strength. So as this Psalm proclaims, "Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her." 

  Jamie didn’t see Mother’s Day as a day she was entitled to comfort or relaxation. She didn’t see it as a day to hold her fist at God because she was entitled to an ongoing pregnancy as she taught other little children about Him. She knows He doesn’t deal conditionally with us. His love and grace are completely unconditional. She saw it as a day where a 2nd-grade class at 9:30 and a one year-old's class at 11:00 needed to know about this magnificent Jesus.

  She’s no saint just because she taught a couple of classes on Mother's Day. I'm not writing this to pridefully show off her strength. Just the opposite in fact. I want to highlight and point to an understanding of true humility. Humility that understands serving others in the light of loss. Christ, in facing incredible personal loss and anguish of soul, considered the cross and what it would produce to more worthy than removing Himself from it's pain.  Christ and His worth being communicated to little souls in need of His grace is greater than one's own loss. Jamie learned this from staring at this man, Jesus, and what He did in her place at the cross. 

Praise To Christ My King for My Wife

        If not for Christ, I would never have met Jamie. If not for Christ, I would not have desired a woman who passionately pursues Christ. If not for Christ, our marriage would be a mess. If not for Christ, we would have nothing to point our children to other than selfish pleasures and personal successes. If not for Christ, we would have no unity in the cross to run to in difficult times. If not for Christ, loss would be devastating. Christ holds the universe together, including hearts going through difficulty on days that should be celebration. 

Sankie P. Lynch

www.nbchurch.info

www.nbfamilies.info

sankie@nbchurch.info