Anxious Achievement Addicts

What are our kids really learning when they observe us?

This week in the sermon series MINE: How Idols Kill Our Souls. We will be discussion the idol of success and achievement.

There may be no greater threat to the gospel of the kingdom of God than when we worship the idol of success and achievement.
This sermon will be presented on Senior Recognition Sunday. There is an obvious irony when taking note of the biblical warning against the idol of success and achievement on a Sunday where we recognize students for their achievements.

• Don’t we want our kids to make good grades?
• Don’t we want our kids to excel in athletics?
• Don’t we want our kid’s teachers to recognize their intelligence?
• Don’t we want our kids to graduate with honors?
• Aren’t we proud of our kids when they achieve a significant goal?

The answer to all of the above questions is, “Yes!” However, it is also true that we can become consumed, even obsessed, with our chase to become successful.

• How consumed we can be with what's on our report card?
• How enthusiastic we can be with what's on our resume?
• How obsessive we can be with who is in our social circle?
• How frenzied are you with are how you doing at work?
• How extreme are you with your job title?
• How inspired are you with how much money do you make?
• How obsessive are you with having been promoted recently?
• How extreme are you with gaining popularity and respect among your peers?
• How frenzied are you with living in a bigger home than you used to?
• How worried are you with living in the right house in the right neighborhood?
• Are your kids going to the right school?
• Are your kids performing in a superior way to your friend's kids?

The answer to these questions on the report card is always, "Never good enough." Someone is always doing a little better, at least according to the idol of success. Now again, we’re not saying that success and achievements are bad things. They can be great things. We must be warned that these good things, even great things, can become the most important, ultimate, false god things. Parents can inadvertently disciple their kids into becoming performance addicts with a people pleasing compulsion that will ruin them.
We all need teachers and coaches and mentors to help us grow and challenge us and help us reach our God-given potential. But the idol of success and achievement will tell you,

"If you're not building up your resume, if you're not growing up your reputation among your peers, your life is actually on the decline. You are actually moving from worth something to being worth less."

The result is we become driven to achieve more, gain more, accomplish more, and we can't see anything else to the point that we become achievement addicts and performance based junkies.
Like any kind of addiction, the achievement addiction always takes more from you than it gives. The marriage you put on the sidelines, the kids you don't have time for, the friends you never see, the God you hardly think of anymore, how much more are you going to lose to gain just an inch? How much more of what really counts in your life will you sacrifice at the idol of just a little more success?
Your kids are watching you to see what it really important. Jesus put it this way…

Mark 8:36-37 For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul (psuchEn)? 37 For what will a man give in exchange for his soul (psuchEs)?

This is a rhetorical question, but the answer should be obvious. It does you no good to gain the whole world, and forfeit your soul! It does you no good, but our obsession with achievement and gain for the sake of personal glory so that we might have the whole world in our own hands is just another sign that success and achievement has become an idol. In reaction to the reality of our success driven culture we must be intentional about combating the idol of success and achievement. Here are a few ideas that might help.

• Model genuine humility at home.
• Reward your kids modesty after an achievement is accomplished.
• Be ever thankful to God when anything in your family success.
• Give your kids an opportunity to be generous with there time, their and money.
• Resist the temptation to blame others when your kids are not successful.
• Be intentional and verbal about the things in life that matter: God’s goodness, His glory, His mercy, His Grace, etc.

Comment below on other ideas that will help combat the idol of success and achievement.

Dr. Phil Sallee, Pastor
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Terror of the child-gods!

Over Protected and Smothered child-god

On Sundays, we have shifted our emphasis of study to “MINE: How Idols Kill Our souls.”

We have identified several critical truths:

• We were created/designed by God, for God, to worship God.
• Our souls seem to be suffocating and we are often oblivious to our suffering
• Our soul is the kind of thing that can get forfeited. (Mark 8:36-37)
• Anything in life, especially good, pleasurable, and powerful things, can serve as an idol.
• Anything can be an idol, and everything has been an idol.
• Idolatry is a heart issue.
• Idols compete for priority in our hearts.

Can our families become our false gods?

• What is really going on when: parents over schedule their kids and race them to the next thing (ball team practice and games, private lessons, rehearsals and recitals, clubs and groups, tutors and coaches, etc.) yet are too busy to find time for spiritual support (church services and ministries, faith talks, faith walks, faith mission)?
• What are our children learning when they hear us shouting angry obscenities at the referees and umpires, complaining about their coach’s, their teachers, their friends, their church volunteer’s, and their pastor’s incompetences?
• What will our kids become if we shelter them from failure and risk?
• Can our kids become truly wise and creative if we have smothered them with a stifling level of protection and security?

In his blog Tuesday, Jeff Berg quoted Jessica Thompson. She wrote a blog entitled, “10 Surefire Ways to Make Your Kids Hate Family Devotions” Jessica Thompson says:

"Family devotions are a good thing. They can be a means of grace to your entire family, but often we turn them into an idol. We get some idea in our head about how devotions are supposed to look, and we won’t budge an inch from getting that picture exactly right. Have you ever been so rigid in your family devotional time that you made it drudgery instead of a joy?"

Jeff identified how his reaction to a failed family devotion was a subtle warning he needed to heed.

Angry and defiant child-god

Tim Keller, in his book Counterfeit Gods, describes an actual scenario how a good thing (biological sons) became a mother’s false god. Then her idol worship dominated her parenting decisions. Instead of trusting God and parenting with wisdom and trust, she allowed fear and trepidation to foster distrust, worry, and anxiety. Eventually her son began to detest their mother for being too controlling. They acted out rebelliously while they were under her care and couldn’t wait to escape when they were old enough to move away. Keller describes her idolatry like this:

Once was a single woman, [whose biological clock was ticking] who desperately wanted to have children. She eventually married, and contrary to the low expectations of her doctors, was able to bare two healthy children despite her age. But her ultimate dreams did not come true, as she had dreamed. Her overpowering drive to give her children a perfect life made it impossible for her to actually enjoy them. Her over protectiveness, fears and anxieties, and her need to control every detail of her children’s lives made the family miserable. Her oldest child did poorly in school and showed signs of serious emotional problems. Her younger child was filled with anger. Achieving her heart’s deepest desire me in that being the worst thing that is ever happened to her.

God created us to worship Him. We were created/designed by God, for God, to worship God. Everyone of us must choose to live for something. Someone or some thing must capture our imaginations. Someone or some thing must seize our hearts deepest loyalty and hope. The bible warns us that without the intervention of the Holy Spirit what seizes our hearts, what captures our deepest loyalty, will never be God Himself.

Let that sink in.

If we look to anyone or anything to give us meaning, hope, and happiness that only God Himself can give, that someone or something will eventually fail to deliver and break our hearts. It’s not that we can love our children too much, it’s that we can love God too little in relationship to our kids. Our kids then could grow up assuming that are gods. The spoiled child with a false god complex will result in a young adult who is confused, selfish, entitled, lazy, and primed and ready for disappointment away from their parent(s) in the real world. Child-gods, who are crushed under the weight of their parent’s expectations, may one day crush their parent's dreams for a close, healthy, godly, loving family.

• Worship God alone and your kids will observe what is truth.
• Worship God alone and your kids will perceive how they were designed.
• Worship God alone and your kids will witness the priority of your heart.

Why I'm excited about Sunday...

If you’ve ever sat within earshot of me on a Sunday morning, A) I'm sorry and B) you may have trouble believing this, but I actually love music and truly enjoy singing. Because I do care for others, I typically remand my vocal talents (or lack thereof) to the shower or afternoon drive home from work. And though I’m sure the “make a joyful noise” verses in Scripture are directed at folks like me, I must say, I am often moved by music and song. Sometimes it’s an instrumental piece that extracts emotion from my soul for which words can’t describe. On other occasions it is thoughtfully penned lyrics that resonate within my heart. In either case, to fully engage in music at a deeper level, is truly refreshing and worshipful. However, as much as I love music, I must confess that I love the Gospel even more. For this reason, although I enjoy many varieties of music, I tend to gravitate toward places and musicians that combine the two. And when these two components do come together, it is special and indeed something to be shared.

On Sunday evening Jimmy Needham will be performing here at the church. He is an exceptionally gifted artist that has collaborated with the likes of Trip Lee, Lecrae, as well as the SHANES and many others. Being a church body that believes in family ministry, we love the fact that Jimmy is a family guy that adores his wife (“Unfailing Love,” “Firefly”) and their two daughters (“Daddy’s Baby Girl,” “If I Ever Needed Grace”). But above being a solid dude that is super-talented vocally, Jimmy’s strongest attribute is that he is consistently promoting something much bigger than himself. He is a Gospel guy that by God’s grace is utilizing his gifts and opportunities to point others to the hope that is found in Christ alone. Let me illustrate this good news intentionality by briefly sharing a few of my favorite lines from a handful of his songs…

“Grace Amazing” (enjoy the above video) speaks of our depravity and helplessness without God. “No one can come to the Son, unless the Father compels him to come. Our hearts are bottomless, if we’re autonomous…” In a song from a few albums back “Forgiven and Loved,” Jimmy reminds us of Romans 8:1. The lyrics express one working to earn a salvation that has already been freely given. Accepting Jesus for justification without also trusting in Christ for sanctification – not hearing the precious words, “Child, you are forgiven and loved!” This is a struggle I can relate with and a truth I need reminded of daily. Praise God there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ! While the title track from Clear the Stage addresses the topics of worship and the subtleties of idolatry, “The Only One” transparently uncovers the emptiness of false idols as well. Listen to the very real tension described… “Well the news has spread, men ain’t meant for bread, but for every word, coming from Your head. But my head and heart are very different things. One tells me to run, and one tells me to cling.” I don’t know about you, but I can really connect with that last line... Consider the song “Arrows” (from the God is NOT Dead soundtrack) in which Jimmy talks about seeing Christ revealed through everything from Creation to children, to the very air we breathe. All of these things point to God and are, “pictures that echo (God’s) glory.” With this in mind, we should all long for the same prayer: “Make me Your arrow. Put me in Your bow. Pull back and let go, and send me wherever you want me to go.”

In closing, I’d also encourage you to check out some of his spoken word poetry in “Not Without Love (The Benediction)” and “Nightlights”. Each describes a very desperate need and reliance upon God’s grace and goodness. In his most recent album, Hymn Sessions – Vol. 1, Jimmy highlights the rich Gospel content of some classic hymns. As he recently shared with Desiring God, we should love hymns because “theology breeds doxology.” Jimmy Needham has described his motivation simply as this: “to whet people’s appetite for the God of the gospel.” He goes on to say, “I think the answer to all of our deepest questions can be found at the foot of the cross of Jesus.”[1] I wholeheartedly agree! Christ is the answer to our every longing - He is our hope! I pray this truth will always be our song…

matt@nbchurch.info     Twitter: @FattMowler     Facebook: TheFattMowler

Well, it is easy to see why I’m so excited for the opportunity we have to partner with Jimmy Needham for the sake of the Gospel. If you will be in the Tulsa area Sunday, we’d love for you to join us. The concert is set to begin at 6:30; doors open at 6. Tickets are available through the church office or online at the link below for only $5.

http://nbchurch.info/events/jimmy-needham-concert/

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[1] Jimmyneedham.com/about/