I’m thankful
for Memorial Day. I’m grateful for the opportunity we have to pause and
remember those who gave their lives for the very peace and freedom we enjoy
today. I’m also appreciative of those that currently serve, for they willingly
surrender their comfort and holiday leisure so that our families can rest in
safety. While I am thankful for what this day means, I must honestly admit that
I’m also just grateful for the day off. I look forward to such days on the
calendar – days where we can simply relax at home.
In my
April 27th blog I talked about being “right where I needed to be.” However, in that piece I also
explained that such awareness of being in the right spot at the right time has
only come from the unfortunate realization that so many times I’m not. Today I
will be continuing with the same theme but looking at it from a different
angle. Hopefully, I can explain how these last few days had my wife and I right where we needed to be.
My wife
and I spent the last 4 days in Breckenridge, Colorado, one of our favorite
places in the whole world. We did some shopping, some sleeping, some
sightseeing, and a lot of resting (and yes, that’s different from simply
sleeping). We had a wonderful time! But truthfully, our little getaway was way
overdue. In fact, when we booked our trip months ago, we were ready to call for
a timeout right then, but there was nowhere to fit in a break at the time.
As I’ve
written before, sometimes our schedule needs to be more fluid than we allow. We
must be okay with tardiness and cancelations, longer meetings and unplanned
gatherings, for the Lord often orchestrates such beautiful adjustments to our
plans. The reason we sometimes miss those opportunities to be obediently
present is because we feel pressures – occasionally from the external
expectations of others, other times because of internal pressures of how we
want to be perceived. But shouldn’t we be able to do the right thing without
worrying about how it might be seen?
As a
pastor that serves in high school ministry I must say that spring and early
summer are not ideal times for getting away. As a parent of three kiddos that
currently are in their baseball and soccer seasons, I can easily say that it is an
even more cluttered calendar that what I have professionally. Our children have
games pretty much every weekend, and our high school summer camp is less than a
week away as I type this. Because of that, many might suggest that our timing
was poor, for look at all that needs
to be done. And that’s precisely my point.
Take the
specifics out of our story and consider your own rhythm for a moment. When is
it good to get away? When is it financially ideal to spend time and money to be
gone? Isn’t there always something?
Lord willing, the floodwaters will dissipate and our children will have more
ball games in the not-so-distant future. Hopefully, we have worked hard enough
on camp stuff to do a week of intentional ministry well. But if not, it will be
okay. It will all be alright. I’m not a big enough deal to thwart the plans of
the Lord. There is nothing at work so important that it deserves all my free
time. There is nothing that can only be done by me. I know that. Even if you’ve
never met me, you know that. But don’t we often live contrary to this truth
that we realize about ourselves? Don’t we sometimes live like the world will
stop spinning if we take a break?
Ok…maybe
it’s just me. Anyway, this is my point. I needed to hit the reset button. I
needed to reconnect with my wife. It was good for my wife and I to be able to
spend some undistracted days together in conversation without any time
constraints. We needed to together repent of our busyness. We needed to invest
in our individual walks of faith, as well as our marriage, for when we are
right with God and each other, we parent better, we serve in His strength, and
we are more focused on glorifying Him in the day-to-day activities of life.
This
writing is not to justify our trip, for I have only One to answer to concerning
that. This blog is not typed out to speak of “oh how busy we are,” for all of us are. Busyness is no badge of
honor but something to be pitied, especially when it distracts us from daily
seeking our Savior. No, I write this to ask you whether or not you feel a
similar tension in your spirit? Do you long to be more purposeful in life yet
struggle to know where to start? Do you sense that you are indispensible at
work or that a more moderate pace would somehow be devastating? Is your job
worth all your energy and effort?
Does your family deserve more than your leftovers? More importantly, are you
called to give them more than the depleted battery version of yourself? Is
there any time for your friends? Have you any margin for others outside of your
tight-knit circle?
I’m not
at a breaking point nor am I questioning my call to the gospel ministry. I’m
not in a bad place at all. I’ve just been convicted about how I’ve neglected my
first priorities as a husband and father. Wouldn’t it be horrible for me to be
seen as this great guy by most everyone at the church and as an absentee,
grumpy, short-tempered, dude at home? I don’t think that’s where I am. Lord
willing, that will never be our story. But I know this: without God graciously
allowing us to evaluate where we are, without Him mercifully sustaining us,
without His providential hand of guidance, I could easily be drawn astray. As
the old hymn states, “prone to wander,
Lord I feel it.”
My
prayer is that whether at home or work, fulfilling our schedule or deviating
from the original plans, that we’d be found faithfully, obediently doing His
will, right where we need to be. Well,
I’ve spent long enough on this topic for my day off, so I’m gonna return to my
family now. Be encouraged and enjoy the rest of this Memorial Day!
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| Matt Fowler Assoc. Pastor of Missions & Students matt@nbchurch.info @fattmowler |
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