When I was growing up my family used to do put together jig-saw puzzles. We would set the puzzle pieces on a card table and then piece by piece, put the puzzle together. The jigsaw puzzle provided us with something to work on together. We would laugh and chat. We would encourage each other and cheer on one another for finding a missing piece. But there was another thing we did almost every time
When the puzzle was close to being completed someone, sometimes everyone, would hide a piece so they could have the joy of being the one to complete the puzzle. But, you guessed it, if there are always 4 pieces missing then we all lose the joy. Being the youngest, I would occasionally lose the piece I had hidden. To say, “That was a problem for my family, especially my older brother,” is an understatement!
Parenting can be such a complex puzzle sometimes. You think you are doing the right thing, then the piece you thought would fit, doesn’t fit. There always seems to be a puzzle piece missing. You do something to encourage joy, and you experience disappointment instead. The child that you care for hears some of the harshest words you have ever spoken come out of your mouth. You find yourself shirking your responsibilities because you don’t want to be angered, or let down.
- Do you ever feel like a failure as a parent?
- Are you looking forward to the teen years?
- Do you still have some unresolved negative feelings toward your own parents?
These are difficult questions.
I prepared this little graphic for you to encourage you to stay in your sweet spot, as a parent.
There will be times when, as a parent, you need to provide wise control, boundaries, instruction, advice, etc.. But you don’t need to become too rigid or smothering. And you never need to be abusive, physically, mentally or emotionally.
There will be times when, as a parent you need to be nurturing, kind, gracious, loving, etc. But you don’t need to become passive, or ignore your kids when they need correction. And you never should neglect your kids, especially when they are being difficult.
There are no perfect parents or children. There will always be mistakes made. The gospel picks us back up when we have fallen and gives us grace and mercy to become better next time.
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