It is no secret that we live in a highly sexualized society. It been said that more money is spent on pornography in this country every year than on rock music, country music, jazz, and classical music put together. More money is spent on pornography than pro baseball, basketball, and football combined. Last year pornography grossed more than ABC, NBC, CBS, and FOX combined. It’s an industry that amasses over ten billion dollars each year (From: Kyle Idleman. “Gods at War.”)
In the United States, there is no possible way to avoid being exposed to a barrage of suggestive imagery unless you live in a cave and never leave. The god of sexual pleasure has set up temples everywhere (print media, movies, TV, Internet – computers, laptops, smart phones) and people, especially boys and men, seem powerless to fight it. How are parent(s) supposed to train their kids to stand strong against the powerful false god of sexual pleasure?
5 Ways to Win the Porn Wars:
- Refuse to keep quiet about pornography. Many parents, myself included, don’t like to communicate with our kids about the dangers of pornography. Every parent fears the risk of embarrassment, hypocrisy, and resistance to talk about such things from their kids. But silence is NOT golden when is come to pornography. Do young parents stay quiet when their innocent and unknowing children are facing danger (boiling water?, electrical shock?, hazardous animal interactions? Etc.)? No. Learning the art of conversation about this issue is critical. Implementing safe guards for TV viewing and Internet usage will provide ample opportunities for discussion (Read #4 below).
- Don’t exploit shame to prevent pornography. Fear not, there will be plenty of shame when pornography is viewed. Parental shame is so excruciating to bear that it will drive dishonorable behaviors even father underground, never to be discussed, and defiant against any future accountability. Sexual intimacy, between husband and wife, is a gift from God. Sex was God’s creative and pleasurable design. He designed sex to intimately connect us to a spouse. When sex is experienced God’s way, it is designed to create a supernatural bond between husband and wife. Sexual shame in marriage obstructs God’s design. Hiding and shame were two of the first signs of our brokenness due to sin (Genesis 3:6-8). Our kids yearn deeply to hear us say, “I love you and I’m proud of you!” Shame based parenting negates that message in a destructive way.
- Don’t suggest that pornography is your kid’s problem. All Christian parents want their kids to have a vibrant, genuine, faith. But not all parents experience a vibrant, genuine, faith themselves. Parents should expect a stronger more sincere faith in their kids than they process themselves. Parents are Christian first then Christian parent(s) second. Christian faith is caught and not taught. Expecting your kids to have a vibrant, genuine, faith while parents follow safely and feebly follow Jesus is an enormous mistake.Parents would have more effective and authentic conversation about the dangers of pornography if they shared their own struggles and hypocrisies. Further, this display with better clarity the message of the gospel. In a gospel centered family; mistakes are made, grace is offered, forgiveness is experienced, mercy is enjoyed, and God is glorified
- Implement safe guards for TV and Internet use. Place parental controls and filters on your home computer, laptops, tablets, and smart phones so that viewing pornographic sites isn’t even an option. Parental controls and filters, combined with sincere discussion and mutual conversation among the family, give each family member enough time to pause and really think, “What pornography is doing to my heart and soul, to my mind and present and future relationships?” When each family member has enough time to take a breather and actually think, then they can make a better choice.
The purpose is not to stop being parents and start being police. The purpose is for the entire family to recognize that this curse of internet pornography is epidemic. Each family member, parents included must fight this battle personally. The purpose is for each family to choose that they as a family unit are not going to stand for it. Parents must take their heads out of the sand. Within two decades, the Internet has become the main temple of our sexual false god. Overcoming the learning curve to implement Internet filters will not be easy but having power over this insidious threat is worth the effort.
Internet accountability is great for the entire family, from the youngest kid to the oldest adult. It helps parents to guard the eyes and hearts of their children and it can help adults overcome struggles with porn. Wise parents and spouses will take control over this danger of pornography with the tools listed below:
- Net Nanny
- McAfee Family Protection
- PureSight
Parent’s Internet Filter Options
- My Mobile Watchdog
- Covenant Eyes
- Triple X Church
- Faith Bridge Purity Resources
Pornography Accountability Software
- Retrain your thoughts as a family. Families need to take control of their thoughts. When a thought comes, a choice must be made. Families must regularly ask God to make the family more conscious of what’s going on in their minds, and to help you move the family’s thinking in healthier directions. The best way to keep our minds focused on the healthiest thoughts is to fill our minds with the good things. In other words, we don’t just remove the god of sexual pleasure; we replace the god of sexual pleasure with the Lord God.
- Philippians 4:6-8 Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—dwell on these things.
- 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 For though we live in the body, we do not wage war in an unspiritual way, 4 since the weapons of our warfare are not worldly, but are powerful through God for the demolition of strongholds. We demolish arguments 5 and every high-minded thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, taking every thought captive to obey Christ.
 |
| Dr. Phil Sallee, Pastor twitter.com/philsallee facebook.com/phil.sallee philsallee.info nbchurch.info nbfamilies.info |
No comments:
Post a Comment