Our Kids Study Us.

There will be storms.

We agree that God has called parents to serve as primary disciple-makers in their children’s lives. NBFamilies is about a church partnering with parents to raise their kids to become godly disciples of Jesus who will change the world.
We know that God is the Architect of the brilliant plan to capture the hearts of the generations through His families (Malachi 4:6).
God has designed and intended the family to be the conduit to pass on His plan for redemption to the next generation (Genesis 12:1-3; Psalm 78:3-8). God has given parents the Holy Spirit to empower and accomplish this conquest. So we are working to discover providential opportunities where all types of families (traditional parents, single parents, grand parents, step parents, foster parents, etc.) can experience God’s life changing presence in their homes.
Here is the simple truth that I will address over the next 8 weeks (on Fridays).

Our kid’s faith is being influenced by observing our marriages. Our kids are being discipled by observing how we treat each other as husband and wife. Our kid’s faith, their ability to trust, their sense of safety and security, is either being bolstered or being destroyed every day, as they watch us.

• Marriage is a metaphor for God’s love for His church (Ephesians 5:25-32). What are our kids learning as they study how we relate to one another?
• Are our kids learning love and respect or disgust and disrespect?
• Are our kids learning commitment and faithfulness or apathy and unfaithfulness?
• Are our kids learning safety and security or fearfulness and worry?
• Are our kids learning peace and joy or conflict and sorrow?
• Are our kids learning grace and forgiveness or judgment and punishment?
• Are our kids learning transparency and authenticity or secrecy and hypocrisy?

These questions can be very convicting. And left to sour, these feelings of conviction can tumble into shame and blame. That is NOT the way of the gospel. The gospel is the good news that God has won victory over sin and death through Jesus perfect sacrifice. We parents can admit our mistakes, believe that God’s has extended to us His grace, ask for forgiveness, and repent of our sinful and selfish actions.
Jesus doesn't say, "There won't be storms." Jesus doesn't promise you will always feel happy and safe, but He promises you can have an eternal anchor for your soul: THE GOSPEL, His love, His life, His grace, His provision, and His death for your soul to be secured forever (John 16:33).
Our kids need to see what it looks like to follow Christ more than they need to hear what we say it is like to follow Christ. Parents are the models of following Christ. This is no easy task. Yet there is no better way to teach them than to show them. Our kids need to see us struggle, mess up, yet reply with gospel centered reaction. Our responses to one another, especially in the storms, must be graceful and gospel centered:

1. Mistakes are made,
2. Grace is offered,
3. Forgiveness is experienced,
4. Repentance causes change and
5. Mercy is enjoyed!

The gospel response is always the best response and this is how our kid’s faith will be influenced. Is it time to have a conversation with you spouse and begin living a gospel centered marriage? That is my prayer for you.
God bless our marriages!

Dr. Phil Sallee, Pastor
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