Thursday, November 27, 2014

The Power of Thanks!


The last two months the staff at New Beginnings has done something powerful. For many years now, we have been celebrating one another’s birthdays by going to lunch together. However, the last two months have been different. After we have ordered our lunches, we have taken time to each take a turn telling one reason that we are thankful for the person celebrating their birthday. The results have been awe-inspiring. There have been tears of joy, smiles of thanks, and humble reactions. Something powerful happens when we express our thanks for one another. How can something as simple as being thankful cause such a powerful reaction?

Thanksgiving is the right response from the created to the Creator!

Thanksgiving and thankfulness is fairly rare in the Old Testament for two reasons:
  1. Sadly, people were not thankful after the emergence of sin (Genesis 3:1-24). Thankfulness is not a character strength that naturally flows from the ruined hearts of humanity. Thanklessness is on display after the miraculous exodus of God’s people (Exodus 3:20; Numbers 14:2). Israel grumbled again and again, rather than thanking God for His deliverance and for food that literally fell from heaven.
  2. The most common Hebrew words for “thankfulness” can also be interpreted “praise.” The link in between “praise” and “thanksgiving” is not accidental and should not be ignored. When we are thankful and express our thanksgiving we are acknowledging God as our source of blessings and contentment. We should remember that Thanks = Praise and Praise = Thanks.

    Thanksgiving is common in the psalms. About twenty psalms command or invite Israel to sing songs of thanksgiving. "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good" is a common refrain
    • Psalm 106:1 ;
    • Psalm 118:1 ;
    • Psalm 136:1
    Some psalms specify a reason, linking thanksgiving with deeds of love and worship, encouraging worshipers to glorify God with thanksgiving (Psalm 69:30 ), come before him with thanksgiving Psalm (Psalm 95:2 ), enter his gates with thanksgiving (Psalm 100:4 ), sing to the Lord with thanksgiving (Psalm 147:7).

    Perhaps surprisingly, perhaps not, cries for help and grief also conclude with thanksgiving. These cries come from individuals in Psalm 7:17; Psalm 28:7; Psalm 35:18; Psalm 52:9 ; Psalm 54:6 ; and Psalm 86:12. But there are also cries from the community in Psalm 79:13; and Psalm 106:47.

In the New Testament the vocabulary for thanksgiving expands and expressions of thanksgiving increase.

  • Thanksgiving is a motive for Christian life and conduct.
  • Thanksgiving is a general attitude toward both the blessings and trials of life.
  • Thanksgiving is a central component of prayer.
  • Thanksgiving the right attitude for the ability to work and serve others.
In the Gospels and Acts thanksgiving most often occurs in prayer over a meal (Matthew 15:36, 26:27 ; Mark 8:6, 14:23 ; Luke 22:19; John 6:11, 23). Paul also thanked God for his final meal on the storm-battered boat that took him to Malta (Acts 27:35).

The Gospels introduce and the Epistles develop the concept that gratitude for God's deliverance in Christ characterizes the believer.
  • When a sinful woman interrupted a dinner party to anoint Jesus with precious perfume, Jesus told His shocked host that her actions sprang from thankfulness for forgiveness (Luke 7:40-47).
  • When Jesus healed ten lepers as they walked to the temple, He commented aloud that only one, a Samaritan, returned to thank him (Luke 7:11-19).
  • Paul’s letters teach us that believers should be thankful for every individual provision, and that gratitude for God's saving grace should envelops the entire Christian life.
  • A general attitude of thanksgiving in both the trials and blessings of life distinguishes the Christian. Paul instructs his churches to give thanks for all things, in all circumstances (Ephesian 5:20 ; 1 Thessalonians 5:18), even in suffering (Romans 5:3-5; James 1:1-4), and to do everything in the name of Jesus out of a spirit of gratitude (Colossians 3:17).
  • Believers in Jesus retain joy and peace especially when, "in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving [they] present their requests to God" (Philippians 4:6-7 ).
  • Thanksgiving is a central component of prayer for Paul. He prays that his churches will be thankful (Colossians 1:12), and gives thanks for answered prayer, especially for the extension of the gospel and the strength of his churches (2 Corinthians 4:15).

    As we take time out to observe Thanksgiving we should honor the concept by being and expressing our thanks. See if you can experience the power of thanksgiving this holiday. Watch as thanksgiving transforms your attitude and the attitudes of those for whom you are thankful. Thanksgiving is powerful. Thanksgiving is biblical. Thanksgiving is right.

    Be thankful and tell others why you are thankful!

    Dr. Phil Sallee, Pastor
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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

3 Deadly Sins In The Church

One of my last classes at Southern is a class on Church Planting. I’ve been looking forward to this class for a long time.  It has some great projects we’re thinking and working through in order to come up with a workable plan for any church to be able to get involved with church planting. I have been reading about church planting and studying some of the newer movements (Redeemer City To City Network, Soma Communities, Acts 29 Network, Sojourn Network, Sovereign Grace Network, etc) for the last four or five years. 

The endeavor of church planting has much to do with the current health of the “mother” church (the one launching the new church). That “mother” church does not need to be perfect or running at full capacity in order to launch another church. In fact, that is one of the biggest misconceptions. Healthy churches reproduce healthy disciples who know how to make more disciples. Some of those disciples have giftings from God in preaching, teaching, administration, leadership, and other areas that fit well with ongoing movement and planting. 

For the existing mother church, when they begin to talk about “planting” or “launching” a new church into a new area, there is something that occurs that brings forth new life in that existing church. There is a fresh flourishing and vitality that springs up where there may have been lack of vision or even decline over several years (or even decades) for the existing church. Many people in the existing church are passionately recharged with the excitement and hope of their lives being connected in seeing several new churches launched to new areas that have little gospel engagement. 

Many church planting networks want to start in larger cities or cultural centers because that is where we find the highest volume of people. Cities, by God’s design, would be cultural influencers that trickle down to surrounding areas. At the same time, people in those cities (including disciples of Christ) may find themselves in a hurried pace of busyness. This pace has much to do with some of the obstacles to getting into relationships with people on a deeper level in order to share life and share Christ with them. 

There are three poisonous, deplorable, and incredibly deadly sins that both the existing churches and these new church plants may be walking in. These are three of the deadliest sins a church can engage in—sometimes unknowingly! 

  1. Consumerism  (worst/deadliest)  2 Tim. 4:1-4

—Paul warns Timothy and the churches that a very dangerous time is coming when crowds of people will put before themselves leaders who deny the costly truth of gospel life, and offer words that “tickle the ears” of those listening. These false leaders will tell the people what their darkened hearts desire to hear—instead of what God wants them to hear from the mirror of His word. Think through these characteristics described in 2 Timothy along with this idea of “Consumerism.” 
—They do not like nor want to hear sound doctrine
—They multiply teachers who tell them what they want to hear
—These teachers accommodate their cultural and sinful preferences
—They no longer hear truth, but instead believe false versions on what life is about
  • It doesn’t take a genius to recognize that most cities are fast-paced, consumer-minded, instantaneously-gratifying (or frustrating) centers of expectation. For example, most of us get really frustrated when a drive-thru lane at Starbucks or a fast-food chain takes too long. 
  • Let’s be honest, when you have to start memorizing “Thou shalt not murder…Thou shalt not murder…Thou shalt not murder!!!” because the person in the car in front of you asks for a listing of all the new holiday flavors and then which ones come in non-fat—you may have a busy, consumeristic, instantaneously-gratifying expectation. The very idea of “drive-thru” is pretty convenient in itself, no matter how slow, if you really think about it. 
  • God forbid we have to find a parking spot, park, do the treacherous labor of getting out and walking into a building, standing in line, ordering (BTW surrounded by other annoying people taking up my time), wait for the drink while safely fixated to a 4 inch screen in order to avoid personal human interaction, get the drink, walk back to said car, and then leave. But maybe that’s just me. I’m the only one experiencing this type of suffering for the gospel. 

The point is that we are a people with a consumer-pleasing mindset. We want it fast and furious. We want it with the most convenience and the littlest cost or sacrifice. We want “Easy-Button” everything. And that overflows into our spiritual lives as well. 

Truth be told--we want that for our church experience as well. 

Me: "Siri..."
Siri: "Yes"
Me: "Which church offers me the most convenient, fastest (nearly) drive-thru, low-commitment, self-indulgent, self-esteem-boosting experience?" 

Would your church be the answer she lovingly offers? 

Churches, both existing and new plants, must fight the temptation to allow “Consumerism” to dictate the message we preach and the methods of what we do. 
  • True following of this man, Jesus, brought with it the very idea of cost, death to self, and sacrifice (see Luke 9:23-25). None of those things are quick or easy. 
  • Following Christ means commitment and obedience to Jesus, His word, and His mission. Again, none of that is quick or easy. 

So, when we recognize that many churches are simply trying to accompany “busy consumers” we are in a very dangerous place. And remember, this is not trying to point out specific church names or pastors, but is an overall perspective on the American church and how she is handling these cultural shifts. Add to that the concerns of planting churches who set their vision according to some of these false measuring preferences. 

Do you see how dangerous a Consumeristic accommodation for churches can be?
    • If a business owner realized his five employees were all stealing 80% of his cash profit out of the register each week—would he simply start providing them paper bags each shift in order to make it easier for them? 
    • We do not just give up and not set any kind of expectation in fear that people will reject any kind of high expectation. We trust God. We set the standard God has given us. We allow Jesus to reclaim what has been stolen. This requires hope, trust, and diligence on our part.
    • When we are consumers without noticing it—we begin to focus on ourselves instead of the mission of God. It leads to Isolationism. 


2. Isolationism     (hate/indifference to different peoples)  1 Cor. 12:11-27
    • We don’t really do well with people who are different from us. That may be different races, different nationalities, different socio-economic levels, or differences of preference. 
    • If we’re not careful, in pursuing our own preferred status or our own preferred ways—we never think of others. We don’t recognize we are trying to put distance/space between us and “people who are different” instead of MOVING TOWARDS those in need. 
    • Our children are going to inherit our separating mindset. They are going to inherit and internalize our isolating patterns. 
Do your children learn to move towards people who are marginalized or are they learning to climb ladders of success in order to remove themselves from marginalized people? 
    • Are we spending all our time moving forward—that we truly begin to look down on people who 1) don’t make as much  2) don’t dress like we do  3) aren’t in our circles? 
    • How does that fit with Jesus who was always concerned about those who were marginalized?
    • And this Isolation leads to the next step—Individualism. 


3. Individualism   (my/myself/I—bootstraps mentality)  James 2:1-9


    • When we’ve unknowingly become extremely BUSY CONSUMERS focused on PREFERENCES IN ISOLATION—we move from God’s desire of us being committed to a family of faith or a community of faith. 
    • Individualism, which is one of our highest virtues as Americans, is actually one of the most dangerous and deadly characteristics in killing Gospel-centered community. 
    • I remember several years ago at a family camp as we were eating our evening meal, two guys who were members and highly involved in our church body who sat down across from each other, paused in awkwardness, and then said, “Hello, I’m so-and-so, I know we’ve been sitting fifteen feet from each other for the last sever or eight years—but we’ve never met.” And this was a church of around 150 people including children. That is a perfect picture of many individuals in churches across America. People who sit extremely close together and pass by each other several times each week—but who never take the initiative to actually meet each other. This is a glimpse of how our individualism affects our ability to build true community. 
    • What allows us to think that we could be good at “loving our neighbor…loving one another…or loving others as Christ loved us” when we spend years 15 ft away from people in our own family—in our own congregation—in our own local assembly—and never move out of our individualistic freedom to meet them—much less care about them or serve them. 


**What are the implications of being consumeristic in our approach to church?

**What are the implications of having churches who begin to cater to consumeristic, individualistic, isolated cultures? 

Ask yourself:
**Am I a consumer in my relationship to church? 
**Am I becoming more isolated or growing in many diverse relationships? 
**Am I becoming more individualistic or am I growing in fellowship and community to the point of caring and serving others who are in my immediate space? 

Sankie P. Lynch
sankie@nbchurch.info


Monday, November 24, 2014

For many more years to come...

In a recent blog, Jimmy Needham explained the reason for the delayed release of his upcoming album. Back in May we were privileged to have this Gospel artist in our church where he performed some of the new music that will soon be released. At that time Jimmy and his team were also planning to release a Christmas EP in time for the holidays. Unfortunately, as Jimmy has recently shared, he damaged his voice a couple months ago while trying to complete the album, and full-recovery has been a slow process. (If you would like to read the post for yourself, you can click on this link.)

I admire Jimmy’s candid honesty, and wholeheartedly believe that the “Cross exalting” nature of his work has brought attack from the enemy, yet there was another part of his post that really stuck out to me. It is an idea that I pray you and I will mull over and contemplate. It is an intentional, focused game plan that is quite different from the cultural norm. In his address to his family of listeners and supporters, Jimmy describes why he has been so patient as to not rush his recovery. “I want to be writing and singing songs for God’s glory and your joy for many more years to come. These hard decisions have been made with that in mind.”

Did you catch that? Jimmy Needham is not just thinking about right now. He is not just looking to cash-in on the present. He’s not simply throwing his energy and resources about aimlessly. No, in fact his desired goal is quite contrary to such an approach; he is positioning himself to be sharing the gospel through song for many years to come. In order to do that, he must be okay with finding proper rest so that the healing of his vocal chords may take place.

Good for Jimmy you say, but what does that have to do with me? Well, to get to the point, let’s consider his statement along with a thought from Matt Chandler, Lead Pastor of Teaching at The Village and President of the Acts 29 Network. During a message preached at Catalyst ATL last month, Matt said this: “If we are to run this marathon, we are to be serious about rest.” He was referring to the marathon call of ministry, and he clarified that he was not merely talking about vacations and only one’s physical health, but rather how one tends their own spirit by finding rest in the Lord.

May we think on this for just a bit? Truly, are we living with this kind of perspective? Are we just surviving or toiling to make the most of right now at a detriment to our current health and future longevity? I pray it isn’t so, yet personally, I must confess that I have felt the tension. I have gone through extended seasons of running about at an unhealthy pace, both physically and spiritually. I’ve neglected my need for rest and relaxation, yet even worse, I’ve taken for granted my soul’s desperate longing to find spiritual rest in the finished work of the cross.

Now because I have implicated myself, I must also reveal what was at the root of such misguided striving. When I traced my motives back I discovered that I had placed my hopes in my own abilities and effort. Of course, I never said it like that. No, it essentially involved me thinking much more highly of myself than I should’ve. “If I’m not there, it won’t be able to happen…or it won’t turn out right…they need me.” Friend, if ever you find yourself belonging to a ministry that is being held together by you, you might ought to reevaluate that ministry. Either Christ holds all things together (Colossians 1:17) or we deceive ourselves. If ever you hear yourself being unable to back your family out of a prior commitment because your presence or involvement is more important than the safety and sanity of your own wife and kids, perhaps you have gotten off-center. For if we are unable to find rhythm, rest, and balance – if we are unable to say “no” to some things today, we may not be healthy enough to offer much help tomorrow, and we may not even be around to say “yes” in the years to come.

I’m not being melodramatic. I’m speaking from experience with this issue. I’m sharing from recent personal miscues in this specific area, and I’m pleading that we might slow down and contemplate our pace and evaluate whether or not we are relying upon God for our daily sustenance or testing Him by hazardously pushing our limits over and over again. Could the Lord take me home later today or tomorrow or the next? Of course He could! He is God. That ability comes with His Almighty title. Yet, wouldn’t wisdom call us to faithfully prepare to live as though that is unlikely – that Lord willing, we will be growing in grace and our knowledge of Him for years to come – that we will be seeking to bring Him glory for the rest of our days?

My point is this: if we are burned-out, too busy, foolishly dependent upon ourselves, will we be in a position to make much of our King Jesus? We know the answer. So what must change? For me, I’ve realized that at times I place unnecessary pressure upon myself, and my family. I’ve been “guilted” into participating in certain things, and I’ve cared way more about how I will be viewed than how I actually am.

If this isn’t a hundred meter sprint, but rather a marathon, we must work to find the right pace. This is for our physical and spiritual good, both for today, and Lord willing, tomorrow. Ultimately, finding a healthy pace is our hearts way of acknowledging God as God. It allows Him to be our portion. It takes the trust of others (namely ourselves) and places it rightly on the One who is faithful. It also replaces our crummy motivators of fear and significance, with a clear and powerful grace-driven effort.

This may just be for me. I can tell you that many Mondays wind up that way, where this preacher uses this blog to speak truth back to myself. Yet today, if this topic resonates with you at some level, spend some time in thoughtful evaluation. This is one of those issues worth wrestling with. It deserves to be handled rightly. While our ministry and witness to others might be hindered when we are out of whack, let us not forget our individual health and the vitality of our families. Oh, that we might be preaching the Gospel, singing Christ-exalting songs, and seeking to bring Him glory for many more years to come.

Matt Fowler - NBC Family Pastor of HS




Friday, November 21, 2014

I'm sorry. I'm not listening!

On Fridays I have started a series that is addressing the importance of modeling gospel driven marriages. God is the Architect of the brilliant plan to capture the hearts of the generations through His families (Malachi 4:6).
God has designed the family to be the channel to pass on His plan for redemption to the next generation (Genesis 12:1-3; Psalm 78:3-8). NBFamilies are working to discover providential opportunities where - traditional parents, single parents, grand parents, step parents, foster parents - can experience God’s life changing presence in their homes.

Let this sink in:
  • Our kid’s hearts are being shaped by observing our marriages.
  • Our kid’s faith is being influenced by observing how we treat each other as husband and wife.
  • Our kid’s faith, their ability to trust, their sense of safety and security, is either being bolstered or being destroyed every day, as they watch us.
  • Since marriage is a metaphor for God’s love for His church, (Ephesians 5:25-32) what are our kids learning as they study how we relate to one another?

Our kids observe how we speak to each other. They also evaluate how invested their parents are in one another, based upon how they perceive they communicate. Communication, especially in marriage, is so important that it is frequently addressed in Scripture. Read these passages to be reminded that the Bible extols the value of communication.
  • Proverbs 18:13;
  • Proverbs 29:11;
  • Proverbs 12:18;
  • Ephesians 4:24-27;
  • James 1:19
Communication isn’t easy. When communication is successful it involves self-revelation on the part of one individual and active listening on the part of another. Not only does communication take a lot of time and effort, it is the one factor that can make or break a marriage. Research tells us that most men are less likely to labor at communicating. Also, most wives have more words to express themselves than do their husbands. Further, wives are regularly frustrated when their husbands are reluctant to converse with them. Although the process can be difficult, it is worth the effort.


NEW CONTENT

The bible expresses the highest value of exchanging truth and ideas. Successful communication between couples provides a solid foundation for long-term satisfaction and mutual nurture in marriage. Yet, as simple as it sounds, communicating so often misses its intended mark. When there are cracks in the communication foundation there will always be “settling,” and in most marriage scenarios, complete collapse. Spouses can attempt to communicate and then be completely misunderstood. One spouse expresses a message, they believe that they have communicated successfully, but the hearer will hear something else. In the next 2 weeks, we will uncover 7 reasons why communication can be unsuccessful.
Today will investigate only 3 of the 7. Read each one of these and give yourself a simple score (1 = I struggle with this habit & 5 = This is not a problem for me). If you score each bad communication habit, then you will know what you need to do to improve your communication. I would be a good idea for you to tell your spouse what you are learning about your personal bad communication habits and apologize if necessary. However, BE WARNED. It is dangerous, if you have bad communication habits, to blame your spouse. Accusing your spouse of being guilty and responsibility for unsuccessful communication, even though there will be some truth to the accusation, is a bad idea. You will be met with defensiveness, excuses, and withdrawal or stone-walling. Perhaps you could encourage your spouse to read this for themselves and do their own personal evaluation.
  1. Message Confusion: Message Confusion occurs when there is confusion between the verbal content and the nonverbal cue. There is more than one way to communicate. Spouses successfully use nonverbal means of communicating all the time. Nonverbal communication can convey positive themes like love, affection, admiration, respect, and desire (smile, wink, nod, eyebrows raised, etc.) Nonverbal communication can also convey negative themes like anger, disinterest, frustration, disrespect, and repulsion (sighing, eye rolling, arm crossing, lips pursed, forehead wrinkled, etc.).

    Message Confusion occurs when the two types of communication (verbal & nonverbal) appear to disagree.

    • Verbal Content: Verbal Content is the exact subject matter of the words. Words are to have a precise meaning. When the actual words are expressed, as if they were typed out, the verbal material is the actual content.
    • Non-verbal Cues: Non-verbal Cues express the emotional tone of the statement. Feelings and intent may be implied, hidden, or clearly stated by non-verbal style.
    If a conversation is light or not essential in nature (clichés, value neutral facts, details that are not crucial, flirting, wit, and chit chat), then careful nonverbal cues can provide interest and humor. However, if the nature of the content is important, then it is key that verbal content and nonverbal cues must be of the same in intent.

    If there is a discrepancy between content and non-verbal clues, then non-verbal cues carry more weight when trying to discern meaning.

    It is disingenuous for you to say, “I was only joking, or just kidding,” as if the content was mistakenly misunderstood by the hearer.
  2. Physical Distractions: Physical Distractions are those tangible, material issues that prohibit communication from being successfully transmitted.
    • Health Issues: Some spouses don’t hear well. Perhaps they have hearing loss in one or both ears. Or they may have grown older and their hearing is not as sensitive as it was when they were younger.
    • Speech Problems: Related to hearing loss is speech problems. Some spouses don’t articulate well. There are a variety of speech problems (diction, accents, grammar, physiological pathologies) that prohibit successful communication.
    • Fatigue: Having a successful conversation requires the physical and emotional investment from both spouses. Occasionally, one or both spouses are just too tired to give the kind of effort that is going to make a conversation successful. Busy parents, exhausted at the finish of a long day, are rarely going to have the energy to communicate effectively. When one spouse is drowsy, it doesn’t matter how hard the other spouse tries, the result will be hurt feelings. Sadly, spouses don’t make time for healthy, life giving, foundational, communication. Over time, neglecting this issue because of being too weary will drain a relationship of it’s intimacy.
    • Noise in the Environment: Noise in the environment has become an aggressively significant factor in destroying effective communication. There was a day, not too long ago, when the daily newspaper was the biggest distraction in a marriage environment. Television has always been a distraction to effective communication. But with digital technology not spouses can be distracted by hundreds of channels - CNN, FOX, MSNBC - 24 hour news, ESPN 24 hour sports, movies on demand, Hulu, Netflix, Apple TV. No one would have imagined that people would be carrying around an electronic instrument in their purses and pockets that can:
      • Stream video content (YouTube).
      • Send private text messages.
      • Receive private social media requests (Facebook, ).
      • Search for and troll former romantic interests
      • View pornography.
      • Read news information.
      • Play fantasy sports games with friends.
      • Play hundreds of video games.
      • Write and read email.
      • Look at and send photographs
      • Modify photographs so that they will look their best.
      • Enrol privately in dating websites and flirt with and entertain conversations with other “singles.”
      • Etc. etc. etc,
Just how smart is a “smart phone” if it serves to distract from having an actual conversation with those you love sitting in the same room at the same table? Each couple should have agreed upon safe zones where noise in the environment is avoided (TV off, Smart phones powered down, computers off). How did you score? What are areas you need to improve? Do you need to apologize to your spouse for anything?
Don’t put this conversation off. Make an effort to build on the solid foundation of healthy communication. Jesus doesn't promise you will always have perfect communication in your marriage, but He promises you can have an eternal anchor for your soul: THE GOSPEL (John 16:33). Our kids need to see what it looks like to follow Christ more than they need to hear what we say it is like to follow Christ. Parents are the models of following Christ. This is no easy task. Yet there is no better way to teach them than to show them. Our kids need to see us struggle, mess up, yet reply with gospel centered reaction.
Our responses to one another, especially in the arguments, must be graceful and gospel centered:


  1. Mistakes are made,
  2. Grace is offered,
  3. Forgiveness is experienced,
  4. Repentance causes change and
  5. Mercy is enjoyed!
The gospel response is always the best response and this is how our kid’s faith will be influenced. Is it time to have a conversation with you spouse and begin living a gospel centered marriage? That is my prayer for you. God bless our marriages!
Dr. Phil Sallee, Pastor
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Thursday, November 20, 2014

Why Porn and Thanksgiving Don't Mix

A week from today will be Thanksgiving Day 2014. The title of this blog came from a blog posted on Tuesday, Nov 18th from Covenant Eyes: http://www.covenanteyes.com/2014/11/18/porn-thanksgiving-dont-mix/

Finally FreeThe blog references a book written by Dr. Heath Lambert, counselor and professor at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, called Finally Free: Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace.


A portion of the blog from Nov 18th is written here below. When you are finished reading it, ponder the statistic in the picture at the bottom from the same blog that says "Americans watch 30% less porn on Thanksgiving."


Thanksgiving and the Battle with Lust

"It is in Chapter 8 of this nine-chapter book that Lambert explores the power of being thankful. Lambert starts his argument for using gratitude to fight pornography with Paul’s letter to the Ephesians.
“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” Ephesians 5:3-4 

The majority of this verse is pretty straightforward, but it’s pretty easy to gloss over the words greed in the first sentence and thanksgiving in the second sentence. Lambert points out that God forbids “greed” to strengthen His command against sexual immorality, and He urges us in “thanksgiving” to spur us to healthy action.

Greed isn’t just about money. You can be greedy for food, power, and in this context, you can be greedy in your sexual appetite. Greed is being focused on what you do not have. This lustful greed is not to be confused with sexual desire—after all, God gave you a healthy sexual attraction that is designed to attract and bind you to your spouse. Sexual desire is not sinful, but greed points and perverts that desire to someone who is not your spouse and to lust.

Thanksgiving or thankfulness is the polar opposite of lust.


“The logic of lust requires you to be discontent with what you have and pay attention to all the things you don’t have. The logic of thankfulness requires you to focus on what you have already received and to be overcome with thanks. Gratitude is the opposite of greed“ (p. 126).

“If you struggle with porn, one of your greatest needs is to grow in the grace of gratitude. Just because you may never have thought about it doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Porn is only consumed by thankless people. The desire for porn is a desire to escape from what the Lord has given you into a fake universe full of things you do not have and will never have. Porn is the trading of gratitude for greed” (p. 127).

Cultivating Thankfulness

So what now? In recognizing this battle of the mind and spirit, Lambert urges people to use gratitude as an offensive weapon in one’s fight for purity. Intentionally focus on the blessings God has given you, from friendships and relationships, to extended family to your children, to your spouse and the good times you’ve shared. Be thankful for the talents God has given you and be thankful for the responsibilities in your life. And be thankful for God’s gift of salvation and for the price Christ paid for your sins.

Lambert’s words might inspire you to list your blessings. Write them down as a reminder when you feel greed and lust entering your mind. Journal about the good and honorable gifts in your life, and run from temptations that lead to porn.

“Every greedy glance at pornography is a missed opportunity to be thankful to the Lord and to others for all the good things in your life,” Lambert writes.

The result of continually exercising thankfulness is growing in gladness.

There is no authentic joy in pornography; rather, it delivers a promise of joy for a moment and that brief time is fleeting. The battle for freedom from pornography is a battle to find deeper joy. Greedy lust undercuts gladness, Lambert says, while gratitude produces it.

Lust is never satisfied.

But gratitude energizes and fuels a glad and thankful heart and mind. It is the logic of gratitude to be thankful for what is yours rather than longing for what is not, and that leads to deeper joy. Lambert points to 1 Thessalonians 5:18: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

 Porn on Thanksgiving
 

Monday, November 17, 2014

With the future in mind...

For the past three months, our family pastoral staff here at NBC has been leading a group of parents through a class entitled, Gospel-Driven Parenting. We will be concluding our 12-week study this Sunday. In brief summary, our time together has pointed us to the fact that the gospel is the very lens for which we must see each and every facet of our lives. Our wins and defeats, our jobs, our hobbies, our service and worship, and our parenting, are all areas that must be seen in light of what Christ has accomplished for us through the cross. Opposed to our tendencies of reacting in fear and parenting from our individual deficit, our efforts should spring from our personal experience of God’s incredible love; we must cling to the promised hope that we find through the precious blood of Jesus.

We spent many hours in research – reading, writing, and hashing through the various ideas that accompany this topic. One of the resources we have utilized is TPJ’s Family Ministry Field Guide. As a church that is striving to equip parents in being the primary disciple-makers of their children, we have gained tremendous insight from Dr. Jones, a leading mind in the world of family ministry. It is fair to say that he has greatly impacted our ministry strategies in recent years. In his field guide, Jones notes that parenting with this kind of Christ-centered purpose and clarity will challenge us to rethink our approach as we begin to look far beyond ourselves.

“This story is bigger because it calls parents to see their children in light of God’s great story line of creation, fall, redemption, and consummation. It is better because the goal is not simply healthier families for the church, bigger events for the community, or better ethics for the world. The goal is Jesus, the center is the gospel, and the family is a means for revealing the gospel now and for passing the gospel from one generation to the next.”[1]
 
A pic from last Saturday morning - our 3 with Uncle Jo Jo & Aunt Adena

Contrary to what many of us have experienced in our own raising or the inferior goals that we’ve set for ourselves, the gospel calls us to faithfully parent today, entrusting our children and the future generations to the One who is mighty to save. As difficult as it is to imagine, we may not be so privileged as to see the fruit of our labor. However, that’s just fine, for “God has called (us) to become ministers to generations yet unborn, equippers who make disciples with the future in mind.”[2]

How might things be changed if you adopted such a perspective? If God is all-knowing, completely perfect and powerful, sufficient to save and sustain, what does that mean for us? For you and I as individuals? For the church abroad? If Christ has proven faithful thus far, should He not be trusted with our own, as well as the generations yet born? Might we parent in the power of the Spirit, ever motivated by the cross, and bring glory to God through our families both now and in the ages to come.


Matt Fowler - Family Pastor of HS

P.S. - We will wrap-up our teaching series by hosting a Q & A panel discussion session @11am this Sunday in the Chapel.



[1]Timothy P. Jones, Family Ministry Field Guide : How Your Church Can Equip Parents to Make Disciples (Indianapolis, Ind.: Wesleyan Pub. House, 2011), 191.
[2]Ibid.